To The Sea And Beyond
by DetectiveBiggs98
Summary: Chapter Forty: wherein Luffy's vivre card burns more often than not and Sabo refuses to regret his decision (A collection of random stories I think of)
1. Some animals are just assholes

Sanji was beginning to think he was cursed. Having spent the first half of his childhood in a place founded on Science, he'd never been the type to believe in things such as voodoo or witchcraft. The 'magic' people revered could easily be explained if they simply used their heads.

The magician with smoke oozing from his sleeves? Dry ice or a devil fruit power.

The psychic? Skilled in deduction and purposely kept their 'visions' open enough for anyone to apply to themselves.

Unless, of course, if it was a lady. Then, she was clearly telling the truth.

The whole thing was ridiculous, otherwise.

He'd thought this way since childhood, and as much as he hated to admit it, his siblings shared enough common sense with him to know better as well.

Just like the sky was blue and ladies were wonderful, magic didn't exist, and curses were a scam.

That's why this particular moment was so hard for him.

It'd all started earlier this morning when they'd dropped anchor at a Fall Island. The locals were in the midst of a festival by the looks of it, so, of course, Luffy had wanted to attend at all costs. They'd hidden the Sunny near the forest, a cliff they could easily step onto at its side.

Nami and Robin, the incredible geniuses they were, tagged along, wanting to gather information on the area itself.

The rest of the idiots went too, who cared what for.

Sanji, having woken with a migraine from their last night of partying, insisted on hanging back to prepare Lunch.

No one had minded. The dumb Marimo even had the gall to interrupt him with a yawn. He would have pummeled the jerk right then and there if the lovely ladies hadn't graced him with their perfect smiles! Ahh.

He saw them off with enthusiasm before making his way to the Kitchen, fingers rubbing circles on his temples.

Should have asked Chopper for medicine before he'd left.

Oh well. He'd have to make do.

Not like he hadn't cooked in worse condition.

As he pulled out the various ingredients he'd need, he muttered a string of curses along with empty vows to never drink again. On second thought, that's probably why he didn't notice he was no longer alone in the room.

Who knows how long it'd been there.

Mentally, he'd already kicked himself a thousand times over for not noticing his situation until... well, things got out of control.

In a manner of speaking.

He'd just finished chopping up the potatoes for the stew, setting the knife on the counter beside him as he dumped the slices into a pot of boiling water. As luck would have it, his migraine chose that moment to rear its head with a vengeance, causing a sharp pain behind his eyes that had his hands flying to his temples once more.

The cutting board smacked into the floor by his feet, drowning out the sound of the knife being thrown off the countertop by his elbow.

It wasn't until he heard a dull _thud,_ that he'd computed what had taken place at all.

Shifting his weight against the counter, he dared to peel an eye open, where he found... He found _it._

A tiny Beagle sat in front of the knife, tail wagging with such fervor it smacked the flooring in a series of _thumps._

Sanji's cigarette fell out of his mouth.

What the hell? Why was a dog–

Before he could finish that train of thought, the Beagle proceeded to clamp its teeth around the hilt of the knife, tail wagging faster and faster.

Sanji had a bad feeling about this, one that amplified tenfold when the Beagle sprang forward, the tip of the knife heading straight for his left ankle.

He hopped backward, saving his leg but not his pants. A nick formed above his shoe, and a certain pot of boiling water tipped dangerously near the edge, droplets of water sloshing out.

"You shitty dog!" He snapped the instant he'd regained his footing.

Without missing a beat, the Beagle scrambled to a halt, claws scraping the floor as it spun to face him, knife glinting off the ceiling light.

Eyes stinging with tears he would in no way ever admit to, his hands shot out in front of him. "N-No! Bad dog! Drop it!"

The Beagle released an earsplitting howl at this, only picking up its pace.

Sanji, understandably, took off in the opposite direction. They did a lap around the table, two, half of a third, then in a bout of desperation, he'd hopped on top of it.

Which lead to the present, where he sat on the table, hugging his knees to his chest as the Beagle gnawed thoughtlessly on the knife's handle below.

"How did I let this happen?" He asked himself numbly, feeling his soul depart with every breathe. "Lost to a dog.. All the ladies of the world would laugh at me if they saw..."

As though it could understand him, the Beagle threw its nose up in a series of rapid howls that definitely didn't help with his migraine.

"Oh, shut up!" He snapped, clamping his palms over his ringing ears.

Yelling at a dog to shut up, however, didn't seem to do much good, as the Beagle proceeded to grow louder. Much louder.

A curse. It had to be a curse.

It'd been this way since he was a runt. To take it farther, ever since he'd been chased around the castle grounds by a stray dog, his relationship with the canine-kind only seemed to worsen.

More than that, whenever he happened upon one, it without fail, went out of its way to make his life miserable.

Whether it was using a list of recipes he'd been asked to deliver as a chew toy or dragging him around the Orbit by the collar of his chef's uniform; these encounters never ended well for him.

Stupid dogs.

He was beginning to think it couldn't get any worse when the door creaked open.

"Hey, San–" Usopp broke off mid-sentence, jaw dropping at the sight of Sanji huddled on the table. "Um, what're you–"

"USOPP, WATCH OUT!"

On cue, the Beagle released a playful growl and bounded forward on its stubby legs. Usopp, still not understanding the predicament he was in, slowly craned his neck.

"Huh?" The instant he caught sight of the knife shooting for him, his face turned several shades too pale and in an exaggerated movement, he threw himself onto the ground. "Ketchup star!" He yelled as a spray of red fluid shot into the air, splattering over the front of his overalls. His head fell lifelessly to the side, tongue hanging out his mouth. "Blegh.."

In the two years he'd known him, Sanji had never wanted to bludgeon the moron this badly. "It's a dog, not a bear Usopp! Playing dead won't work!"

At this, Usopp peeled an eye open. The Beagle, slightly deterred by his theatrics had skidded to a halt at his shoulder, tail wagging slowly. When it found itself the center of Usopp's attention, the dog howled and pounced onto his chest, nearly lopping Usopp's nose off in the process.

Releasing a screech that resembled the sound of a dying bird, Usopp bolted upright, feet desperately scooting him away until his back collided with the counter.

The Beagle set the knife at its paws, head tilting in a curious gesture.

Sanji tipped forward, palms slamming onto the table. "This is your chance, quick, get the knife Usopp!"

Usopp's wild eyes shifted between him and the knife. "..Damnit!" Using a leg to propel himself, he dove for it, fingers outstretched.

However, right before they could brush the hilt, the Beagle took the knife in its jaws once more, haunches raised playfully.

Usopp landed mere inches away with a sickening thud.

Sanji winced.

Damn, that must've hurt.

Knife now a hairsbreadth from his forehead, Usopp scrambled up, hopping around on a single foot to avoid the Beagle weaving in between his legs.

"AHH! Usopp!"

The Kitchen exploded into a mixture of panicked screams and crashing sounds as he leaped for the table, smashing into Sanji and nearly sending them both off the other side.

Giving him a well-deserved kick to the stomach, he snapped, "You dumbass!"

"I'm sorry.." Usopp choked out, arms wrapped around his torso.

The Beagle set the knife down and barked.

They sighed.

Initial panic gone, Sanji pulled out a cigarette and lit it. As the familiar taste of tobacco filled his mouth, he felt his shoulders loosen. "So, what're you doing here, Usopp? I thought you left with Luffy and the others?"

"I did," He affirmed, jabbing a shaky thumb at himself. "But I still had some repairs left to do on my Kabuto so I made my heroic return!"

"Right."

What part of playing dead and crawling around the floor was considered heroic?

Well, anyways, if the moron had been here this entire time, maybe he knew how this had happened.

"Wanna tell me why a damn dog is running around my Kitchen?"

Usopp flinched, gaze snapping in the opposite direction. "Hey, was that Luffy I just heard?"

Sanji narrowed his eyes, "Usopp."

Usopp craned his neck to face him, mouth curved in a shaky grin. "..Y-Yes?"

A heartbeat passed, two, three.

Usopp broke eye contact. "I-I may have given it a bit of food on my way here... Just a bit.." At Sanji's furious glare, he scooted backward, palms raised as though to create a barrier between them. "But I didn't know it followed me! Honest!"

Without a second thought, he grabbed Usopp by the front of his overalls. "So, this is all your fault, then!"

Usopp seemed to have a relapse of his earlier ailment, dark skin turning ashen. "B-But I didn't know it was a mutant killer dog, please believe me, I swear it!"

"Ah." Sanji promptly dropped him.

Usopp collapsed face first onto the table, bowing deeply in the most sincere of apologies. "Please don't kill me, it's the truth, I swear!"

"Yeah, that part was actually my fault." He admitted, rubbing the nape of his neck. "My bad!"

Now it was Usopp's turn to grab him by the collar, shaking him with bloodshot eyes. "IT WAS YOUR FAULT!?"

"You're still the dumbass that lead it here!" He retorted, smacking Usopp's hands away. "How the hell was I supposed to know there was a damn dog running around the Sunny!?"

Usopp returned his forehead to the table. "EEP! Please forgive me!"

Sanji hunched over, cradling his head in his hands. All that yelling made him feel as though he'd been hit with a metal bat. "Aghh, whatever. Assigning blame isn't going to get us out of this mess."

"And, uh, how exactly did this happen?" Usopp asked in a hushed voice.

He gestured vaguely. "Dropped my knife. Shitty dog thinks we're playing fetch." Speaking of knives, "Shit! I forgot! The potatoes!"

Usopp blinked owlishly. "..How doe–"

Sanji grabbed him by his overalls again, this time shaking him. "Who the hell cares about any of that, in another hour or so those potatoes are going to be ruined!"

Usopp frowned, "You really were born under some kind of miracle star, weren't you?"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" He ground out.

"N-Nothing!"

In perfect sync, they cast the Beagle chewing cluelessly on the knife's hilt despairing looks.

Sanji shifted his to the boiling water dribbling down the side of his pot.

Whenever it hit the stove, it released a _hiss,_ and plumes of white smoke would rise into the air. He was practically chewing on his cigarette at this point.

Shit. At this rate, he wasn't only going to have burned a batch of perfectly fine potatoes, but also his favorite pot.

"Maybe, if you play decoy, I can–"

"No way!"

"Just listen–"

"What's more important to you, our safety or those potatoes!?"

Sanji grabbed Usopp's shoulders. "Usopp."

Usopp recoiled, forehead beading with sweat. "Y-Yes?"

"If you have to die so I can save those potatoes, I don't care."

"You bastard!"

As though it'd caught onto their plans, the Beagle proceeded to run an excited lap around the table, knife bobbing with every step.

"I, for one, don't want to be the guy explaining how I got stabbed by mini Zoro over there," Usopp muttered.

Sanji raised a brow at him, "'Mini Zoro'?"

"Yeah." Usopp pointed at the Beagle, who stopped and did an excited hop. "He kinda resembles Zoro, running around with that knife in his mouth, don't you think?"

"Huh," Sanji leaned closer. "You're right, it actually does kind of resemble the damn Marimo. Same annoying expression and everything."

"I don't know about that, but he does seem to have a knack for messing with you, kinda like our Zoro does. Maybe if I give you over to him–"

"Hey."

Usopp switched from contemplative to boasting at the speed of light, propping himself up on a knee and jabbing a thumb towards his chest. "No worries, I, the Great Captain Usopp once battled a dog with five–no, _ten_ –heads! The size of a mountain, drool deeper than the very ocean, it tried to turn my home island into a giant chew toy! I may have been seven at the time, but I was able to win by throwing a steak the size of an entire house as far away from my home as I possibly could!" Usopp's arms spread wide as he stressed the size. "Worked like a charm, and the villagers even built a statue in my honor! A golden one!"

Sanji ducked out of the way of his flailing hands, pulling his ruined cigarette out and sighing. While, he didn't doubt Usopp had, in fact, managed to ditch a dog in the past with that method, he also knew it wouldn't work for him.

At least, not this time.

"Even if I did have something to give it, it wouldn't change anything."

Usopp sobered, "Ah? Huh, why do you say that?"

Sanji set his crumpled cigarette on the table, biding for time as he pulled out another.

Usopp didn't lose focus, sadly. Would've worked if it were Luffy or Chopper.

"..Dogs don't like me." He surrendered.

Usopp stared at him. "..Dogs–"

"Don't like me."

Silence.

"Well, you know what they say about animals and their sixth sense."

"You sure as hell better not be implying what I think you are."

That effectively shut him up.

Sanji swiveled his gaze to the pot, cringing as more water made its way to the burner. He needed to lower the temperature.

"Sanji."

Blinking, he turned to Usopp, who had lowered his head.

"Yeah?"

"There are times when a man has to act. Times where he cannot be still and fear for his own safety."

Sanji scowled. What was he getting at?

Usopp's chin snapped up, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. "And a time when a friend needs help is one of them! I'll hold off mini Zoro, you save our Lunch!"

Sanji could feel himself tearing up as well. "Usopp.."

"Now! Let's do this!"

In the same instant, they leaped off the table, each in their own direction.

"I'll never forget your sacrifice!"

* * *

When the others returned, they were shocked to find Sanji and Usopp laying in a literal dogpile by the table. By literal, he meant mini Marimo was sitting on top of them, a certain knife long since abandoned.

"Get the hell off me.." Sanji groaned for what must've been the hundredth time, attempting to shove Usopp off with his elbow.

"Can't.. Move..." Usopp slurred, bordering on the brink of unconsciousness.

Mini Marimo howled, finally leaving them in favor of greeting Luffy.

"Eh!?" He exclaimed as he knelt to pet it. "A doggy!"

"Hah?" An annoyingly familiar voice drawled. "The hell happened to you?"

Sanji didn't have to look up to know the real Marimo was smirking down at him.

"A curse." He groaned. "It's a curse."

At least, he'd managed to save their Lunch.

* * *

 **A/N:** **I should have named this fic 'To Procrastination and Beyond' instead since that's what I'm using it for really, this will fic will be used as an excuse to put off anything and everything I possibly can, there is no stopping me "ψ(｀∇´)ψ**

 **So, expect random updates! Anyways, t** **hanks for reading!**


	2. An enemy to be defeated

Robin had bad days. Days where the smell of burning wood and ashes burned at the base of her throat, where every wave that slapped the hull promised danger, where she could hear cannon fire and screams just on the horizon.

Days where she'd curl in on herself like a frightened child, waiting for the nightmare to pass, the nightmare that clung to her skin like a phantom.

After she became a Strawhat, those days grew less frequent, but there were still times she'd drift to the Kitchen before the sun had risen, well-defined bags beneath her eyes.

Sanji, who always woke at the brink of dawn, would fix her a cup of coffee as he made preparations for breakfast. Not a word was spoken between the two, as it had become somewhat of a ritual.

She'd trace the cover of her latest book with her index finger, listening to the sound of running water and dishes clinking.

Brook, more often than not, would be the next to join them. His voice would soften an octave at the sight of her, and he'd hum a soothing tune as he fiddled with his violin.

She smiled behind her cup each time the cook chewed him out for his poor table manners, or she heard a faint 'SUPER' shouted in the distance.

When the sun had risen over their sails, laughter muffled by the walls could be heard, along with Nami's shouts as she adjusted their course.

Once her cup was empty, she left it by the sink for Sanji and made her way outside, pausing briefly to see what her crew was up to.

Normally, the younger members would be fishing off the railing. Today, however, they were rushing around the deck, chasing after Usopp, who held the bait container against his chest.

"Give it back, you jerk!"

"Yeah, give it back jerk!"

"No way, you guys keep it eating it all!"

Nami lowered her log pose long enough to roll her eyes at Robin, who chuckled and proceeded downstairs. She sat with her back to the mast, balancing her book on her lap as her fingers slid between the pages.

Zoro eyed her curiously from across the deck, and if he moved a bit closer, she didn't comment on it.

As Usopp raced by, Chopper at his heels, Luffy skidded to a halt in front of her, gaze flickering over her knotted hair and still shaking hands. A wider than life grin broke out across his face as he placed his hat atop her head.

Without a single word, he charged after the others.

Adjusting the brim, she remembered a certain conversation they'd had not long after she'd joined. It was another day not unlike this one, where she'd woken exhausted after a night of memories plaguing her.

She'd gone outside for some fresh air, leaning against the railing and watching as the sun rose above the ocean, making the waves turn golden.

For an instant, the image flickered, morphing the sun's reflection into a path of ice, the sound of cannon fire exploding behind her, goosebumps erupting across her skin with equal ferocity.

Her hands shot to her elbows, gripping them tight enough to leave angry white lines across the crease. She didn't care, didn't notice.

Her eyes were glued to the once beautiful ocean as though it were her worst nightmare—and in this moment, it was.

She could almost smell the smoke...

"Are you okay?"

She jumped at the voice, every nerve in her body crying out as she spun to locate its source. Kuzan! He'd changed his mind, he was going to kill her like he did Saul!

She blinked, and the image distorted. Curly hair became straight, tall legs shrunk, black coat shifted to red.

No. It was Strawhat. Her new Captain. She was aboard the Going Merry.

Drawing in a breath to steady herself, she replaced her grimace with a winning smirk. "Of course I am, Captain-san."

He stared at her with that blank mask, wide-eyes seeming to see straight through her facade, to her essence, to what made her who she was.

She kept up the ruse, however, refusing to let her muscles tense, refusing to let her own mask slip.

When he raised an index finger towards her, she readied herself for the accusations. Her previous 'business acquaintances' had accused her of a number of acts she hadn't committed. As silly as they were, she didn't see why this crew would be any different.

What she hadn't been expecting, was the hint of worry creeping into his features. "You're shaking."

Her lips loosened, arms falling limp at her side.

He didn't look away, didn't speak, just kept watching as though waiting for something.

It seemed a full minute passed before she could compose herself enough to breath out. "I am."

He didn't blink, tone taking on a rougher edge. "Why?"

Had she perhaps angered him?

Returning her coy smile, she shifted her weight onto the railing, resting her elbows on the surface behind her. "Why, indeed? I suppose, it is a bit chilly out." When he didn't answer, she added, "Is there something you needed, Captain-san?"

The corners of his mouth tipped downwards at this, as did his head, the brim of his hat hiding his expression from view. "Did someone hurt you?"

Again, she felt her composure crack. She gaped at him, stoic even as a breeze rustled her hair. It was then it dawned on her, Luffy's anger was fueled by protectiveness. Protectiveness of her.

She didn't realize she was smiling until a soft laugh left her lips. "In a manner of speaking, you could say; indeed, someone has hurt me."

Luffy raised his chin, eyebrows knitted in a fierce scowl. "Tell me who." He cracked his knuckles with a series of _pops._ "I'll take care of them."

She shook her head slowly. She knew he wouldn't understand any scientific explanation of her condition, nor a medical breakdown.

Instead, she settled for a different approach.

"That's impossible Captain-san," She replied, careful to keep her voice steady. "It's an enemy I must face on my own."

"How come?" He asked, fierceness making room for confusion.

She paused, mulling over the correct words to use. "You see, Captain-san, when a person experiences something traumatic, sometimes they're left with yet another enemy they must takedown."

"Another enemy?" He repeated, not a hint of the playful child he normally was.

Her smile deepened a tinge. "That is correct."

Inclining his head to peer into the smoky sky, he hummed thoughtfully. He remained that way for several heartbeats, arms tucked over his chest. "I don't get it," He relented. "But I trust you. I'm still right here though if you change your mind!" He chuckled in that way of his, that sweet rasp that always warmed her to the bone without fail.

For once, she found herself at a loss words.

Her Captain saved her, however, by proceeding to plant his straw hat atop her head. "Here ya go! Hang onto this for awhile!"

With that, he scampered off in the direction of the restroom, leaving her to stare at the space he'd occupied moments ago.

Slowly, her fingers brushed against the brim of the hat, carefully, as though she wasn't sure if it would break beneath her touch, as though it was the most precious thing in the entire world.

In the present, as she leaned against the mast, watching her crewmates rush passed, laughing, yelling, not a shred of grief reflected in their young faces, she released the sour air that'd been coiled inside her lungs.

Yes, this was an enemy she must defeat herself, but that didn't mean she was facing it alone. She'd finally found them, just like Saul had promised.

A family to protect her.


	3. Of Bounties and Brothers

**A/N: Ace and Sabo are the Maes Hughes of One Piece and there is no convincing me otherwise**

* * *

Marco had never wanted to smash a man's face through a bar's counter this badly in his entire life. Which said a lot considering the people he had to deal with on a daily basis. Not that he hated his crew; they were his family, but they most certainly drove him every shade of crazy in existence.

Especially Thatch, who he'd been waiting over an hour for. The waiting, in general, wasn't what had him contemplating breaking the taboo and butchering a crewmate, however. No, the bar was rather nice. The whiskey was warm in his stomach, the stool's cushion supported his weight perfectly. The musician's playing in the background weren't too shabby, either.

Actually, if it weren't for a certain someone, he'd consider this hour a reprieve from the irritation that is his job.

Glaring over his hunched shoulders, where Ace sat beckoning to a picture of his little brother's bounty poster, he reflected, this wasn't his highest moment.

He'd take hosting an intervention for pop's alcoholic ways over this any day, and to say those never ended well was an understatement.

" _Thirty million Berry,_ can you believe this!?" Ace said for the hundredth time. "Not bad for a first bounty, eh? You listening? Marco? Check it out!"

At the last part, he shoved the paper closer until all Marco could see was that scar beneath the boy's eye.

"I see it, Ace." He said, fighting to keep the groan out of his voice and losing. "I saw it last time too."

If Ace heard him, he gave no sign of it, too busy moving the bounty until it was stretched in front of him with the widest grin Marco had ever seen him wear.

"That's Luffy for ya, he's always been the kind of guy that does everything with flare." A snicker and the bounty found itself in Marco's face again. "See!? Look, even one of his crewmates is in the background, that weird curly-haired guy, look!"

"I... see.." He forced out, a tick developing in his left eye.

Marco should never have asked why he was in such a good mood yesterday. Really, hearing about the mysterious younger brother of their second division commander had been interesting at first, but after twenty-four hours with only the briefest of breaks, Marco wanted to end someone.

Preferably Thatch, who was supposed to be taking them back to the ship, where Marco could finally have some peace and quiet. Well, peace and quiet from Ace. At this point, he couldn't care less what 'beauty abhorring moron' Izo wanted to complain about, or any of the ridiculous stunts his division's rookies decided to pull. He. Just. Wanted. This. To. End.

"And look at this, he's smiling like an idiot! Man, this really takes me back. It reminds me of that one time, Luffy–"

As the bartender came back around, scrubbing the inside of a glass mug with a rag, Marco raised a finger.

"A refill, sir?"

Sliding the rest of his Berry onto the counter, he allowed his forehead to fall onto his arms. "The whole bottle, please."

* * *

Reena was a damn good thief if she did say so herself. Pirates, Marines, Bandits, no one could escape her grasp. It didn't matter how powerful the person claimed to be, didn't matter how intelligent rumor said they were, she always got what she wanted in the end. And when she saw the second division commander of the Whitebeard Pirates haggling with a street vendor, she didn't expect anything to be different.

Portgas D. Ace was well known for his explosive temper, but if he was in that old farts crew, surely he'd be loaded, right? She'd just slide on by, and when she passed...

Sadly, as her fingers began to breach the pocket of his cargo shorts, Ace whirled around, hand clamping onto her wrist in an iron grip.

"Fice fry," He said around a mouthful of apple. "I fnow a fickfocket f'when I fee fw'one."

"Hey!" The vendor protested. "You haven't paid for that yet, sir!"

Pulse thudding in her ears, her other hand shot to the thigh she kept her dagger strapped to. She'd stun him with a swipe for the eyes, then she'd run for it!

Before she could accomplish said task, she felt her feet sweep off the ground, the desert sand whirling passed as an arm snaked around her waist. Next thing she knew, she was being thrown unceremoniously over the man's shoulder.

"Thank you for the meal!" He said, offering a half-bow.

"D-Don't mention it... W-Wait w-what're you–" The vendor began to stutter, but Ace chose that instant to turn and bolt for the nearest alleyway, a stream of furious screams at his heels.

"We got a thief!"

"EEK! Someone stop them!"

Them?

"What vile criminals!"

Criminal _s._

Wait.

"That's not fair!" She cried, banging her fists against his shoulder blades. "I haven't even stolen anything this time!"

Despite her struggling, she couldn't break his hold. As though to mock her, he kept up that obnoxious laughter all the way to the port, where he ducked into a warehouse of sorts and tossed her to the ground.

The breath was knocked from her lungs as she collided with the wall, the cold surface seeping into her bones along with a wave of dread. This was it. She'd messed up, and now she was going to pay with her life.

Ace drew closer, crouching a mere two feet away. "You reached into my pocket." He murmured, the rim of his hat casting a shadow over his freckled face. "You do realize what's in there, don't you? It's not something I can just let you have."

She gulped, pushing herself upright on shaky arms. What could it have been? Diamonds? Gold? A letter from the old fart himself?

As Ace's hand vanished into his pocket, she resisted the urge to cover her eyes. Feigning ignorance now wouldn't do her any good at this point. She was dead. So dead.

When it returned, he had a folded piece of paper in his palm.

Oh no, it was a letter, after all. If only she'd walked passed! If only she hadn't been so foolish!

As the paper was unfolded with such care, it couldn't be anything but an important document, she took the time to reflect on her life.

 _Grandma, I wish I'd said goodbye to you before leaving,_ She thought as an image of the elderly woman flashed through her mind.

"Ya see," Ace went on, and she lifted her head to face her executioner. "My little brother's bounty poster was in there."

Instead of Ace, she found a picture in front of her. She stared at the young boy depicted, at his toothy grin, at the strange scar, at the straw hat.

"..What?"

"S'name is Luffy, see!?" He said, more insistence in his tone as he shoved it closer.

She jerked away as the paper scraped the tip of her nose, arms raised to create a barrier between them. "What!?"

"I know, it's shocking, right? He doesn't look like a pirate at all."

"No, that's not–"

"But I assure you, he's got the heart of a true pirate! Always has."

"Wait, please, I just–"

"I bet you're wondering why such a carefree looking kid would set sail."

"No, I–"

"Don't worry," He said, shifting his legs so that he plopped onto the floor crisscross. "I got plenty of time to explain it! I'm actually waiting for him to show up right now, ya see–"

By the time he'd finished, the rays of sun filtering in through the cracked windows had changed to moonlight. He pushed himself upright, folding the poster with equal care and sliding it into his pocket.

"Well, I apologize for taking up your time, miss..." He paused, clearly waiting for her to finish.

"R-Reena."

"Miss Reena." He gave her a polite nod. "I feel kinda bad now, I didn't mean to take so long.. I'm sure there're lots of things you wanted to do... Ah! I know! Here ya go!"

He dug his hand into his pocket once more, and a gleam of hope ignited in her chest. Was he going to give her treasure!? Was this one of those, 'listen politely and you'll be rewarded' tropes!? Sure, she'd only remained put out of fear, but still–

He flicked a single Berry onto her lap. She stared at it.

"For all the trouble." He repeated, before spinning on his heel and humming a tune that sounded suspiciously like Bink's Sake. "See ya around, ah... Gina!"

Reena wondered if it was possible to castrate someone with a small dagger.

* * *

Marco sighed, rubbing circles in his temples as he placed the quill beside his half finished report. Still had a hangover from last night's banquet. Damnit, he should've written this damn thing _before_ the alcohol.

With that being said, he was anything but pleased when the Den Den Mushi on his desk released a loud _BRRING!_

He practically strangled the thing trying to answer it.

"What?" He hissed through clenched teeth.

" _Marco!"_

That voice, was this... "Ace? Is that you!?"

" _Yeah, it's me!"_

Marco hopped to his feet so fast he knocked the chair over. "Where the hell have you been!? Ah, shit, nevermind that, do you want to talk to pops or–"

" _NO!"_ He barked, with such force Marco had to pull the Mushi away, cringing as his head gave a painful throb.

Shaking it slightly, he reminded himself there were more important matters at hand. "Is something wrong, did you get yourself injured, shit, are you dyin–"

" _No, no, nothing like that!"_ Ace said, causing Marco to slump against the desk in relief.

"Hell, what is it then?" He breathed, "It's not like you've bothered to call us since you took off after Blackbeard."

" _Yeah, well, have you read the newspaper!?"_ Ace asked.

Marco blinked, "Why would I? You know how hard it is to get the paper this far in the Grand Line."

" _So, you haven't read it!?"_

Frowning, he wondered if he should bring this to pops anyways. Something serious must've happened to have Ace calling home like this.

Drawing in a shaky breath, he prepped himself for the worst. "Heard what?"

" _It's Luffy! He declared war on the entire world!"_

Marco nearly fell over.

" _He walked right into Enies Lobby from what I read, can you believe that!? That's my little brother for you! Next time I see him, I'm gonna throttle him for being so reckless!"_

"Ace."

" _Hell, if they'd captured him, I'd have had to break into Impel Down to save his sorry ass, and–"_

"I'm hanging up on you now."

" _I realize Nico Robin is his friend, but_ – _"_

 **Gatcha.**

For several heartbeats, Marco just stared at the Den Den Mushi. Then, in a bout of complete frustration, he chucked it at the wall.

"Screw the report. I'm going to bed."

* * *

BRRING. BRRING... BRRING. BRRING...

Peeling his eyes open, Marco glared holes into the ceiling

BRRING. BRRING.

What the hell was it now? Kicking his covers off, he forced himself out of bed, and over to the place he'd chucked the Den Den Mushi a few hours ago.

"This had better be important," He snapped, not bothering to hide how badly he wanted to bludgeon the person on the other end.

" _Of course it is!"_

"Ace."

" _I completely forgot to mention that I ran into Luffy in Alabasta!"_

"I mean it when I say,"

" _I got to meet his crew and everything, the curly-haired guy; the one from the poster, his name is Usopp_ – _"_

"I am going to kick the shit out of you next time we meet."

" _-and there was this guy with swirly eyebrows, too! They're all pretty interesting people, it's so Luffy to_ – _"_

"The shit out of you."

"– _they even killed a giant lizard, they seemed pretty reliable, so I asked them to take care of Luffy for me!"_

"You will know pain."

" _And then_ – _"_

* * *

Dragon was at his limit. Sabo sat on his desk, gesturing fervently to Luffy's newest bounty poster, as he had been for the past three hours.

"Then, he turned into–" He paused for a moment, then his eyes widened, and he snapped his fingers. "–Bounce man! And took down _Doflamingo!_ He's changed so much from my crybaby little brother! You should'a seen it, Dragon-san, he was so–"

Dragon's forehead fell into his palms. Really. He couldn't take much more of this.


	4. Of Promises and Booze

It'd been a full week since Arlong Park was destroyed, and the party in Cocoyashi Village was still going strong. Zoro had to say; he didn't mind Nami's hometown one bit. Plenty of booze and the people were too busy celebrating to bother him.

His favorite combination.

He kept to the sidelines, for the most part, occasionally catching a glimpse of Usopp singing atop some elevated platform, or Luffy racing passed on his way to the next buffet table. Strangely enough, he hadn't seen Nami in a couple days, though he'd spotted her sister—Nojiko, or whatever—talking to some kid earlier.

Zoro made sure to keep an eye on them, as well for any surviving members of Arlong's crew. He knew the Marine's had swept the island already, but being a former Bounty Hunter, he also knew better than to trust it.

Catching scumbags the Marine's failed to arrest had been his meal ticket before he met Luffy. With a smirk, he figured by societies standards; he was technically one of those scumbags himself now.

"Aren't you supposed to be dead or something?"

Blinking, he craned his neck to discover the cook had strolled over, a plate in his hands.

"As if," Zoro snorted, taking a long swig from his drink. Not having this talk sober.

As he lowered his mug with a satisfied sigh, the cook settled against the pillar across from him, attention already diverted to his food. "I gotta say, this island's got some pretty skilled chefs."

"Food's food no matter where you get it from."

"There's a difference you bastard!" The cook snapped. A pause and he jabbed a finger at him. "Shouldn't you be in bed recuperating right now, anyways? Those are some pretty serious injuries."

Yup. Definitely not doing this sober. "Snuck out," He answered, before polishing off the last of his beer. He stared ruefully at the bottom until another mug filled to the brim was shoved into his hands by a passerby.

"PARTY!" The guy hooted before twirling off into the crowd.

Yeah, Zoro didn't mind Nami's village at all.

"'Snuck out,'" The cook scoffed with an annoyed glare after the drunkard. "You got a death wish or what, you bastard? Agh, whatever, like I care."

Shrugging, Zoro snagged a slab of meat off the cook's plate.

"Get your own damn food!" He snapped, trying to swat Zoro's hand away and missing by a full inch. "There's literally food everywhere!"

"Donf feel fike it." He said, making a point to talk when his mouth was full. Figured it would annoy the cook.

Worked like a charm. His expression darkened several shades, and he jerked his head away, muttering something about 'mannerless morons.'

They dissolved into silence, the cook meticulously eating every scrap on his plate, along with any that were handed to him, Zoro applying the same sentiment to every mug he was passed.

When the cook finally relented, setting his plate beside him and resting his head against the pillar, Zoro also paused.

"Say," He murmured, gaze trailing absently through the crowd. "If something like this were to ever happen with me, don't interfere, got it?"

Zoro raised a brow at him.

His eye darted to him before drifting to the passerbys once more. "Look, I get what kind of person Luffy is, okay? He's a reckless moron. The Grim Reaper itself could slap him in the face, and he still wouldn't get it."

"Luffy wants you as our cook."

"And, I have every intention of doing just that," He answered smoothly. "I'm not saying something _will_ happen, but in the unlikely situation, something were to... Well, it's my business, so just stay the hell out of it, got that?" He broke off long enough for his blank expression to shift into rage, jumping to his feet with his fists clenched in front of him. "Not that I'm saying rescuing the lovely Nami was wrong! She deserved it and if Luffy hadn't I would've kicked his ass and saved her myself!"

"Huh."

With a huff, Sanji plopped onto the ground again. He was quiet for a heartbeat, a strange tension knitted into his shoulders. "..It's a promise, ya hear!?"

Zoro slammed his mug onto his thigh, causing several drops to spill onto his lap. "Hah!?"

"Are you deaf as well as half dead, you shitty Marimo!?"

"What was that!? Go ahead and die or whatever, shit cook, hell if I care!" Bringing his mug to his lips, he growled, "If you ever turn out to be a liability to the crew, I'll kick you out myself."

The cook, unexpectedly, cracked a grin at this. "Glad to hear it, Marimo. Not that you could."

Zoro choked, beer dribbling down his chin. "What was that!?"

* * *

"—the instant that marriage is completed, 'Black Leg' Sanji will no longer be a part of your crew."

Zoro tipped his head to the doorway, fingers digging into his palms.

"You can't just decide crap like that on your own!" He could hear Luffy yell. If Zoro had to guess, he was probably strangling the guy. "Sanji is _my_ crewmate!"

Judging by the tightness in Pekom's voice when he continued, Zoro must've guessed right. "..But before that, he was the son of the Vinsmoke family! Don't take it out on me!"

A loud thud followed.

"There's no way that Sanji wouldn't refuse that marriage then!"

"..Right before the eyes of mama... and the brutal Vinsmoke family!? I wonder... if he'll be able to refuse and still keep his life.."

Zoro shifted his gaze from the doorway to his lap.

" _..It's a promise, ya hear!?"_

Feh. Why should he care about that dumbass anyways? Bailing out on them at a time like this.

Slinging a leg over the other, he rested his head on his arms and closed his eye. He couldn't care less. He only came here to take a nap.

 _Clap, clap, clap, clap!_

Sandals slapped against wood, drawing nearer until a rush of air on his left announced Luffy's arrival.

"Hold your horses Straw Hat!" Pekom's called after him. It was no use, he should've realized by now.

"Zoro! You were here?" Luffy asked, a grin dripping in every word. "Did you hear all that just now?"

He allowed his eye to narrow into a slit. "I did."

Luffy snickered, "You're probably all worried about Sanji! Aren'tcha?"

"Don't make me kick your ass." He growled, but there wasn't any weight behind it. "I told you to leave that idiot alone."

"HEEY! Luffy! Zoro! How's Pekoms!?"

As Luffy ran off to meet Usopp at the stairs, shouting something about a head slamming into a wall, Zoro's gaze drifted to the ceiling.

He glared at it as though it'd insulted his great ancestors.

He wasn't worried. He was just pissed off that idiot had left them at a critical time like this. Family of assassins? Big Madam? As if.

They were the Strawhat Pirates, that hardheaded cook would be fine. He was too much of a dumbass to die, anyways.

Besides, he may have promised he wouldn't pull any heroics on the cook's behalf, but it's not like he could boss their captain around. He'd already done all he could. Really, he'd given it his greatest effort. It wasn't his fault Luffy never listened to a thing anyone said. Should've expected this outcome from the start.

An image of that perverted chef flickered in his mind, lips pulled into a smirk as he jeered at Zoro over his perfectly fine sense of direction (it was clearly the cook's head that was broken, not his).

Him leaning against the railing, hunched over with his cigarette between his index and thumb, laughing to the brink of tears during one of the rare moments they weren't fighting.

An image of Kuina's casket took its place.

When it dispersed, Zoro realized he was clutching Wado Ichimonji in a tight-knuckled grip. Forcing his fingers to loosen, he slid his wrist over the hilt instead. More than anything, he hated breaking his word, but...

"How the hell could I be expected to keep such a ridiculous promise in the first place? Shit cook."

* * *

 **A/N: So, at first I wasn't sure whether I should make it a promise between them or something Sanji simply said to him, but in the end, I felt like a promise would have more impact, you know? Zoro takes promises very seriously, actually, the only time I can recall him ever going back on his word is when he took Luffy's place in Thriller Bark (which was definitely one of my favorite moments in OP)**


	5. Cigarette smoke and first loves

Law was at his limit. For the tenth time this morning, Corazon's feathery coat burst into flames, the cigarette he'd been trying to light falling to his feet. Meanwhile, the man screamed, tears in his eyes as he frantically tore off his coat and stomped on it. Law ran over to help, grabbing a newspaper that'd been lying on the park bench.

" _Cora-san!"_

When the flames had dwindled to a faint wisp of smoke, Corazon crumpled to his knees in relief. Then, promptly reached for another cigarette. Law wasted no time springing forward and snatching the literal carton of death from him.

"Law!" Corazon cried in protest, but he'd already chucked it into the river. "AH!"

Law released an annoyed sigh as the idiot waded into the murky water, frantically searching out his cigarettes until he tripped over his other foot.

"Those things are bad for you, you know?" And not just because of the chemicals in them. Damn clutz. "If you light yourself on fire every single time you try to smoke, then why not quit? You'd be better off without them, anyways."

Corazon gave no response as he pushed himself to his knees, hacking up a lungful of water. Law scowled.

"Why'd you start smoking anyways when you're such a clutz?"

At this, Corazon's head snapped around, the most idiotic grin Law had ever seen plastered onto his drenched face. "You're interested in learning about me!? You want to get to know me better!?"

He flinched, nose scrunching up in disgust. "I was only asking because you're annoying me! Stop smiling like that!"

Corazon turned away, but Law could still hear a faint smile in his voice. "Well, Law, why do young men do anything?"

"Huh?"

Corazon inclined his head to the sky, clearly trying to appear cool. "It was because of a girl, of course."

For a moment, Law just stared. Then as the words truly sunk in, he rushed to the edge of the bank, lips drawn in a snarl. "Are you a complete idiot!? You nearly kill yourself several times a day over some girl!? That doesn't even make any damn sense!"

At this, Corazon's mysterious facade crumbled, and he gave him a startled look before turning away again. "W-Well, she was a very strong woman, Law! Very bright and confident... I wanted to impress her."

"Why not just talk to her then?"

Corazon lowered his head, and for a moment, Law thought he wasn't going to answer. "Law. Despite how I am now, back then, I was..."

At the seriousness in his tone, Law's glare faded. What was he?

"..very shy."

"Are you kidding me!?" Law grabbed the nearest thing, which happened to be a handful of pebbles, and chucked them at him.

"ACK!" He cried, arms raised to shield his idiotic head from the onslaught. "Hey, Law, stop that! I can explain!"

Scowling, he paused mid-throw. "..Well!?"

"You see, she was a mari—was a Pirate! Like me! Only she was much better at it, an excellent Pirate!"

Law lowered his hand, fingers still curled around the pebble.

"She excelled in everything she did, and even when she did mess up if anyone dared laugh at her she'd beat them up on the spot!"

"She sounds like a bully to me." Law sighed, finally dropping his pebble in favor of sitting with his knees pulled into his chest.

"I really looked up to her," He went on, as though Law hadn't spoken. "She did things her way, no matter what anyone else said. The higher ups—I mean, the Captain, lectured her for her attitude, but she never let it get her down. 'Girls have to be strong too,' that's what she always said."

A stretch of silence passed between them, then Corazon chuckled softly. "She used to laugh at me every time I tripped during training, or whenever I got an answer wrong..."

"She's a bully! Definitely a bully! She sounds like a total delinquent!"

"I had no idea how to talk to her, but she was always smoking in clas—practice, so I thought if I smoked too, she'd think I was cool. Ahh, I still remember those words: 'To think a quiet weirdo like you had such good taste.'"

Law gaped at him.

After a heartbeat, Corazon let out a shocked cry, then lunged into the water. When he resurfaced, he was covered in seaweed, and a carton of cigarettes was clenched in his fist.

Resisting the urge to facepalm, Law forced himself to sound neutral. "Cora-san. What happened to her, exactly?"

"To be honest, Law, I don't remember much about her anymore. But last I heard, she'd retired and become an orange farmer somewhere in the East Blue."

"An orange farmer?"

Corazon pushed a soggy cigarette between his lips, lighter giving off several failed sparks. "I hear the oranges she grows are delicious."

"But, if you don't see her anymore, why keep smoking?"

"I figured I'd slowly ween myself off them, but before I knew it, I was smoking through three packs a day."

Law shot to his feet, "YOU'RE JUST ADDICTED!"

He might've chucked that pebble at him if the idiot's shoulder hadn't proceeded to catch on fire. Corazon let out a startled yell, dropping his carton once more in favor of slapping at his shoulder.

"Just lay down, Cora-san, you're literally surrounded by water!"

As he watched Corazon dive face first into the lake, he sighed. The more he got to know him, the more he wondered how this guy was related to Doflamingo, let alone still breathing. Oh well. Whatever. It's not like he hated clumsy idiots, even if they constantly set themselves on fire over some girl they used to like.

* * *

 **A/N: just a short story on a Headcanon of mine! That, and I wanted to write something Corazon related. I miss that dork T~T**


	6. The worst thing

**A/N: honestly, I think the worst part about Sanji's relationship with his brothers is that they probably didn't treat him cruelly at first. Unlike with his father, I wouldn't be surprised if he even has a couple good memories featuring them, which probably makes how they treat him now a hundred times worse for him**

 **T/W - Abuse**

* * *

Sanji tried his best to keep up while running the track. Really, he did. It always ended the same, though. Five minutes in, he tripped, mouth filling with grit, knees scraped and bloodied. Despite the tears stinging his eyes, he pushed himself up, knowing full well his father was watching. He couldn't be weak and disappoint him.

His brothers waited at the turn as he limped over, lips drawn back in disgust, while Reiju merely wore a worried frown. By the time they'd finished, he'd thought his lungs were going to burst.

Next up was swimming.

Again, he gave it all he had, but his legs were _just so tired,_ he couldn't swim another inch, let alone a mile. The salty water scratched his nostrils and throat raw, and when he was fished out, he was hanging onto consciousness by a thread. That didn't stop him from pushing himself to his feet once more, and staggering to his brothers who were scowling darkly from the sidelines. They'd been doing that more and more lately.

Ichiji studied him for a moment with a strange frown, before nodding to the others and leading the way to their next session.

His least favorite. The obstacle course.

By the time they'd finished, his arms and clothes were singed. He tried his best to ignore the prickly heat in his skin, focusing instead on a frog hopping by the castle wall. He reached for it, wincing at the toll this movement took on his tired, hurt body. He wanted to read in his room now. He didn't want to train anymore.

Scooping the frog in his hands, he scanned the area for his father, figuring he could at least ask. Instead, with a pang of worry, he discovered his brothers were walking to him, Ichiji in front. They didn't look happy.

"Stand up," Ichiji commanded when he was within five feet of him.

Allowing the frog to bounce into the bushes, he obeyed.

"Why—?"

Before he could finish, Niji cleared the space between them in a single bound, smashing his fist into the center of Sanji's stomach.

Air retracting into his lungs, he crumpled to his knees, pain hotter than the flames from earlier exploding throughout his torso.

Meanwhile, Niji looked to Ichiji. "You were right, he really _is_ weak!"

Yonji frowned down at him. "What do we do now that we know?"

"Simple," Ichiji said, taking a step closer.

Dirt smeared across his forehead as he turned to look up at his eldest brother. The malicious grin he found made his blood freeze.

"..What?"

Instead of answering, Ichiji smashed his foot into the side of Sanji's head, sending him flying into the clump of bushes. Ears ringing, he barely felt the branches digging into his skin, leaving little gashes along his arms and cheeks.

Eh? Blinking the stars out of his eyes, he looked up, where he was met with three disgusted sneers. Yonji was the first to break the silence that had engulfed them, raising a finger to point at him.

"What a total loser!" He chortled.

Niji joined in after a heartbeat. "Right!?"

Cruel smile making way for a vicious snarl, Ichiji yanked Sanji up by the collar of his shirt. "Why don't you go die or something!? Seriously, you're such an embarrassment!"

Huh?

Sanji stared at them. Had he heard wrong? Maybe he'd hit his head too hard, and—

A fist crashed into his jaw, sending him tumbling across the ground. Fingers digging into the dirt to stop himself, he lay motionless, mind going over what had happened again and again, until another blow collided with his ribs. Instinctively, he curled into a ball, moving his arms to shield his head.

As feet slammed into his arms, he thought back to when they'd snuck out after curfew to visit their mother. How he and Yonji had been scared, how Ichiji and Niji had sighed before boxing them in the middle. He remembered when they got Reiju to read Noland The Liar to them, how they'd talked about the City of Gold for the rest of the day. Remembered helping Yonji study, Ichiji yelling at him for not paying attention, sneaking out of class with Niji while the others were distracted.

"You're not one of us," Ichiji said, a note of finality in his voice.

As they walked away laughing, his hands slid into the grass. He could feel his pulse all over his body, spreading a fuzzy warmth that clouded his mind. He hardly noticed when a dribble of water made its way down his swollen cheeks.

"..But why?"


	7. Like finding brothers in a haystack

**A/N: I actually had a tough time piecing this story together! I couldn't decide if this was about his memories returning, or centered around his relationship with his brothers in general, and in the end, I got a bit of both, I guess**

 **Two times Sabo almost meets one of his brothers, and one time he does**

* * *

Loguetown wasn't what he expected. For the hometown of the former Pirate King, it was rather... peaceful. He'd thought there'd be pirates loitering around every corner, for Pete's sake, what pirate _wouldn't_ want to pay tribute to their king? Sabo was a Revolutionary, and even he'd insisted on coming with Dragon when he'd heard this was his destination.

Well, given, his reasons were a bit different.

It wasn't respect that drove him to come, nor was it curiosity. In all honesty, he wasn't quite sure himself. Something about the title Pirate King had caused an odd tug at his chest, one that had lead him here. As he followed Dragon through the crowd, his eyes scanned the passerbys, searching for something, but he couldn't place what. It was as though his mind was trying to draw on information that wasn't there, leaving him at a total blank.

"Sabo," Dragon said, hands securing his hood in place as a breeze rustled passed. "You've been silent for awhile."

Not a question, a statement.

"..I have."

A heartbeat passed, two, three.

"I'll be going ahead. I'll find you when it's time to move out."

"A-All right!" He answered, cringing when it came out a tad too eager.

Dragon didn't comment on it, just swept into an alleyway. As he watched him vanish around the side of a Bakery, Sabo wondered what business the Leader of the Revolutionary army could possibly have in Loguetown. He knew better than to ask, though. If Dragon wanted him to know, he would've told him.

Instead, he focused on his search. This wasn't like with his parents. This absent memory didn't give him the urge run or hide; the emotion it stirred was more akin to desperation. Desperation to find something, desperation to _remember_ something, but he had no idea what it could be.

So, he did the only thing he could. He walked. Spent the entire morning exploring the city, pausing only to eat, then continuing.

Lighting crackled overhead, the scent of salt strong on the wind. He held out his palm, frowning as a drop of rain smacked into the center.

That didn't make sense. The weather had been fine moments ago.

"Didja hear?" A guy across the street whispered to his friends. "Some Pirate's getting beheaded on the execution platform!"

Blinking, Sabo watched them rush around the corner, where he assumed the platform to be. Guess this city wasn't so safe after all.

Mouth tipping into a lopsided smirk, he followed them. Might as well see what all the fuss was about. Sounded interesting.

However, once again he found his expectations blown away. Instead of some muscled thug, it was a scrawny kid. Raven hair poking out from beneath a straw hat, bright red shirt, a clear pout on his lips, the kid had been pinned atop the platform by a clown with a funny red nose.

"Do you have any last words?" The clown crowed. "Everyone's looking at you!"

Sabo stared up at him, well, at his nose. Had he been born that way, or..?

"Nevermind! I doubt anyone would care what you have to say, anyways!"

At that, the clown raised the blade, a wicked grin on his weird face.

Sabo steeled himself in place, tension rippling across his skin as he resisted the urge to knock his lights out. Couldn't be reckless this time.

Dragon had business here, and if Sabo blew their cover after practically begging to be taken along, he'd never hear the end of it. Besides, judging by the occasional head peeking through a window or around a corner, the marine's had this place surrounded. He needed to get out of here.

Pulling the brim of his hat down and lowering his chin, he scanned the area for an escape route. Any moment, the crowd would panic and flee, he'd just mix with them and—

"I'M GOING TO BE KING OF THE PIRATES!"

Sabo's blood turned cold.

All the while, the voice echoed off the buildings, silencing every whisper, every startled gasp.

An image burned behind his eyes, a toothy grin, a mess of raven hair. " _Sabo!"_

He couldn't tell how long he'd simply stood there, gaping at the snickering kid above him. What the—?

People surged around him, bumping shoulders, yelling, but he couldn't make out the words over the ringing in his ears. It wasn't until a person rammed right into his chest, that he snapped out of it. Stammering an apology, he joined the swarming crowd. He needed to stick to the plan.

And yet, he found his feet stopping at the exit. If he didn't act, that kid would die, wouldn't he? Unforgivable. He didn't know why, but that was unforgivable!

Fingers twitching, edging to his pipe, he mapped out the exact route he could take to reach the stand fastest. If he aimed for the center, he could take it down in a single swing, then he'd grab the kid and—

Two men raced by him, one in a suit, another wearing a bandanna.

"Hurry we have to destroy that stand!"

"I know!"

More Pirates? Sabo peered over his shoulder, watching as they began to tear through the clown's lackeys, all the while yelling about how idiotic their 'Captain' was. Grinning, Sabo turned and rushed out of the clearing, trying to ignore the strange stab of disappointment that followed. They had this. Besides, what business did a Revolutionary have in a quarrel between Pirates?

By the time a bolt of lightning struck the clearing, Sabo had already made it to the ship, where he sat cross-legged on the railing, eyes trained in the direction of the platform.

Dragon joined him not long after, a strong gust of wind carrying him. He landed with ease, straightened his cloak, then nodded to the group he'd brought.

"Set sail."

"Yes, sir!"

As the ship sailed away, Sabo glanced at the city once more, fingers tugging at the fabric of his pants.

"Did you find it?"

At Dragon's question, he drew in a mouthful of damp air, gaze falling to his lap. "..Not this time."

* * *

Sabo hadn't been in Alabasta long. He'd arrived in Nanohana earlier that morning, planning to stock up on food for his journey. With the drought going on, it wasn't the richest town around, but it was the quickest option, and he was on a tight schedule. By noon, he needed to be en route to the closest Revolutionary base for his next set of orders. That's why, of course, he stopped at a Restaurant to... Replenish his energy, yeah.

He was halfway through his fifth helping when a crowd began to form around the bar, people yelling something about a poisonous strawberry.

Frowning, he strained his neck to see what the commotion was about, a forkful of mashed potatoes still crammed in his mouth. Over the shoulder of an old man, he caught a glimpse of an orange cowboy hat.

"Whew, man..." A voice drawled. "Damn, I fell asleep."

"YOU FELL ASLEEP!"

The crowd surged forward, a wall of backs effectively blocking his view. Brows furrowing, he tilted his seat onto its hind legs, stretching his neck far as it would go in an attempt to peer around them. No such luck. An elbow wrapped in a brace came into sight but was hidden just as swiftly when a lady slid in the way.

Really, couldn't they clear up a little? Geez, he just wanted to get a look. The guy sounded interesting, whoever he was.

Impatience finally getting the best of him, he scooped his plate up and started to stand. As his knees straightened, however, a flash of white in his peripheral vision caught his attention.

Instinctively, he froze.

A marine.

Slowly, he lowered himself into his seat once more, tipping the brim of his hat downwards and watching from behind his forearm.

"Now, what does the commander of the Whitebeard Pirate crew's second corps want in this country?" The marine asked, a puff of smoke escaping his lips with every word. "Well, Portgas D. Ace?"

Portgas D. Ace!? No way, he couldn't be serious!

It took every scrap of self-control not to jump out of his seat and see for himself. There was no way a member of Whitebeard's crew could be so—

Sabo lost his train of thought as the crowd cleared, giving him a full on view of the second division commander. Well, of his back at least. Ace had turned to side eye the marine, a freckled smirk visible above his left shoulder.

"I'm searching for my little brother."

Sabo should be taking note of this. Portgas D. Ace had a younger brother. He should be writing this down, should be planning to tell Dragon. This could make for a perfect bargaining chip if it ever came down to it.

But, for some reason, his body wouldn't respond. It was as though he'd been tossed into a tub of icy water, arm quivering to such an extent, the scene before him became obscured, harder to focus on.

Portgas D. Ace had a brother. A brother. Brothers.

Pain seared behind his eyes, sharp as a blade, hot as fire itself. With a hiss, he cradled his throbbing head in his palms, already slick with sweat.

" _From this day forth.."_

"St..op!" He ground out, desperately trying to shake the voice away.

He couldn't have an episode! Not now of all times!

 _"We're..."_

"STO—"

In a stroke of dumb luck, a loud crash drowned out the rest of his cry. Partly snapped from his stupor, he staggered upright, a hand shifting to his forehead as he bolted out the nearest exit. It wasn't until Alabasta was far behind him that he remembered why he'd stopped there in the first place.

* * *

Sabo had never been this anxious in his entire life. Just around the corner, his younger brother stood, arguing with some green-haired rooster.

They hadn't spoken in so long, oh god, what if Luffy hated him!?

Drawing in a breath to soothe his rattled nerves, he drew forward, remembering all the times he'd scanned the crowd for familiar faces he couldn't quite place, all the times he'd pause by a forest, as though waiting for something, the times he'd turn to speak with a person that wasn't there, a name just on the tip of his tongue.

As they interacted, he watched the realization slowly dawning on Luffy with a mixture of hope and horror. Would Luffy reject him, or—

"SABOOOO!" Luffy wailed, rushing forward and leaping into the air.

He extended his arms, more than ready to accept, but instead of a normal hug, Luffy landed square on his shoulders, wrapping his shaky arms around Sabo's head as if he was terrified he'd disperse into thin air at any second.

Despite the fact his younger brother was basically suffocating him, Sabo grinned like an idiot. This was it. This was what he'd been searching for.


	8. Insults are important, okay?

"Agh! You're a complete idiot!" Nami snapped, throwing her hands up in frustration.

Luffy frowned. A beat of silence passed between them before he tucked his arms and said: "And you're a _navigator!"_

Nami groaned again, before stomping away with a map in hand.

Usopp wasn't too worried; it was just the usual directional based spat between the two. Instead, he sighed and shook his head.

"You really need to get some better insults Luffy."

At this, his captain gave a slow blink. Then, he jabbed a finger at him. "Dork."

"Why did you get it right that time!?"

"I dunno," Luffy shrugged, gaze already drifting along the deck of the Going Merry. When he found Zoro napping against the mast, he grinned widely. "Hey, Zoro—!"

Luffy started to run off, but Usopp caught his shoulder, a gesture he received an annoyed scowl for.

"What's the deal Usopp!?"

"You're not getting off that easily! If you're my captain, you should at least be able to do that much! As co-captain, I, the great Usopp, will teach you how to use insults properly!"

A pause. "But I don't wanna."

He almost fell over from the sheer bluntness of Luffy's reply. "Oh, just shut up and come on already!" On that note, he pulled Luffy across the deck to where Zoro lay. "Okay, you can start by practicing on Zoro! He's sleeping at the moment, so it should be fine!"

"Well, okay." Luffy tilted his head to the side, humming a thoughtful tune. Then, his eyes lit up, and he raised his chin. "Three swords!"

With a smack across the back of Luffy's head, he announced, "Wrong! Try again!"

"Four swords!"

"You're just increasing the number!"

"..T-Two swords!"

"No! Stop with the swords already!"

"What do you guys want?"

Heart practically leaping into his throat, Usopp whirled around to discover the swordsman had cracked an eye open. He studied them, more resolute than annoyed at this point.

Luffy snickered in that raspy way of his. "Usopp wants me to insult you!"

Zoro's gaze shifted to Usopp. "Is that so?"

Was it just him, or was Zoro's expression becoming somewhat menacing?

"Yeah!" Luffy went on, clueless as usual.

"T-To teach Luffy how to use them!" He clarified, raising his palms to create a barrier between them. "That's all! Please don't kill me..."

"So that's all? Go bother someone else, I'm trying to sleep." With that, he returned to snoring.

"Sorry, Zoro!" Luffy went on anyways.

Sighing in unrestrained relief, he steered Luffy away by his shoulders.

"All right, I have another great idea!" He stopped at the stairs. "Just, uh, hold up for a sec."

While Luffy rocked on his heels, Usopp did a double take of the Merry once again. There had to be something he could use. If having Luffy try it himself wasn't working, maybe a demonstration would?

Right on cue, the door to the Kitchen came open, Sanji strolling out with an orange-tinted drink balanced atop a tray.

Aha! Perfect!

"Hey! Sanji!" Usopp called, before turning to whisper, "Now, pay close attention Luffy."

Luffy nodded, a serious frown carving his cheeks.

Sanji's expression mirrored Luffy's as he drew closer. "What's up, Usopp?"

"If you're gonna make drinks, then make enough for the rest of us, you swirly-browed moron!" He yelled, dramatically pointing in his direction.

A shadow darkened Sanji's features. "What was that?"

It was then, Usopp knew he'd made a grave mistake.

"Teaching him how to use insults?" Sanji echoed, a cigarette pinned between his index and middle finger.

Usopp pushed himself upright, face so swollen from a barrage of kicks, he felt like a puffer fish. "Yesh."

Meanwhile, Luffy was hunched over laughing, tears threatening to spill down his cheeks.

"No way. That won't work." Sanji said. "If the moron doesn't understand them now, he never will."

"If's lofic like thaf, thaf's causef peofle to gife uf, wifouf efen tryfin!"

Sanji raised a brow at him. "The hell you just say?"

Usopp slumped in defeat.

"Anyways, if it's a demonstration you're looking for, how about you try this out for size." He could hear fabric rustle as Sanji shifted to face him, polished shoe tapping the deck slightly.

"Usopp, you're a shitty long-nosed bastard."

"WHY ME!?"

Luffy laughed even harder, clutching his sides as though doing so was the only thing keeping him from tumbling over.

With a satisfied smirk at Luffy, Sanji collected his tray and hurried off. "Oh, Nami! I brought you something cold to drink!" He paused, mid-step. "Oh, right, the rest of you bastards share is in the Kitchen. Get it yourselves."

"Eh, seriously!?" Luffy exclaimed, his outburst already forgotten. "Thanks, Sanji!"

Luffy scampered to the Kitchen, leaving Usopp to hurry after him. "Hey, wait up Luffy!"

By the time he'd caught up, Luffy had already downed both his and Zoro's share, while Robin smiled at him over a cup of iced coffee.

"Cook-san certainly is talented at preparing drinks and such."

"'Course," Luffy said as he snatched Usopp's share. "S'my cook after all. The Pirate King can't settle for less!"

"Hey! You bastard, don't drink it all!"

As Usopp wrestled Luffy for his drink, Robin chuckled.

"So, I hear you're having... insult lessons, was it?"

Luffy stopped abruptly, hand still shoving Usopp's face away. "Yeah!"

"Would you like to try on me, Captain-san?"

"Hmm..."

Taking advantage of Luffy's distraction, Usopp lunged forward, snagging the glass cup out of his rubbery hands.

"Ah! Hey!"

Usopp managed to chug half of it before Luffy snatched the drink back, stealing the rest of its contents. With a refreshed sigh, his Captain turned to Robin, patting his stomach as he ignored Usopp's curses.

"You like to read."

Robin rested her chin on an open palm, a tight smile spreading across her lips. "Is there perhaps something wrong with that?"

Usopp caught his breath. Robin's expression had taken a pretty... murdery turn. Every second Luffy took to answer, the tension in the air seemed to spike. Oh man, she was gonna kill them if he said the wrong thing!

"Nope!" Luffy answered with a carefree grin.

The dark tint to her smile dissipated like smoke. "I see."

Scary. That was way too scary!

"C-C'mon Luffy, let's ask Chopper!" He said through a forced laugh. "Chopper's good at insulting people! Yeah! Real good!" And most importantly, _not scary._

"Eh!? Chopper!?"

At the mention of their doctor, Luffy was more than happy to race out of the Kitchen, only sliding to a stop outside of the makeshift Infirmary. Usopp barely had time to catch his breath before Luffy practically busted the door down.

"Hey, Chopper, we came to play!" He yelled, darting inside without a care.

"No, we didn't!"

"..Play?" Asked a tentative voice.

With a long withstanding sigh, Usopp joined them. Chopper was standing on a wooden chair, hoofs gripping the desk in front of him in that backward hiding position of his. Judging from the bowl laying on the floor, and the mashed up plants spread around the chair's legs, he'd been grinding herbs into some medicinal powder before he'd been startled.

Luffy was crouching in front of the mess, arms slung over his knees, grin stretching from ear to ear. "Mhm! We're playing the insult game!"

At this, Chopper's hoofs moved to his furry chest. "Insult game? What kind of game is that?"

Though he hadn't intended for this lesson to become a game, the great Usopp could work with this! What kind of brave warrior would he be if he couldn't make compromises for his protégés!?

"Well, if you wanna know so badly, I guess I could cue you in on it," Usopp said, lowering a coy smirk to his feet. "But I warn you, this game is no joke! The insult game is a legendary game that's been passed through my hometown for many generations! It's so legendary, in fact, some people even question its very existence!"

Luffy's eyes went round, "Wow! That's so cool Usopp!"

"Yeah, Usopp!" Chopper agreed, the tension finally leaving his small shoulders.

"Heh. I warn you, only one person is capable of mastering such a game, and that person... Is me!" He jabbed a thumb at himself, raising his gaze to meet that of his audience.

Chopper was practically radiating awe as he hopped up and down, exclaiming how incredible Usopp was. He'd lost Luffy near the end, who was now staring blankly at the waves outside the porthole.

"It's perfectly understandable if you want my autograph—"

"Yeah, so, anyways, you should insult one of us!" Luffy interrupted.

"Hey."

Chopper blinked, "Insult one of you?"

"Yeah, you have a rather sharp tongue, so we figured Luffy could learn from you. I, on the other hand, came along simply to observe. Don't worry, I'll give you a hand if you need it!"

"Learn from.. me?" For a moment, Chopper stared at them. Then, he noodled his arms, a sheepish grin shoving away any surprise. "You thinking I'm good at insults doesn't make me happy at all, you stupid bastards!"

Ah. There is it.

Usopp eyed Luffy to see if he was paying attention, but the guy was so busy laughing he couldn't be sure.

"All right," Usopp said. "Now, it's your turn Luffy."

With a nod, he pointed at Usopp. "You smell."

"WHY CAN YOU ONLY GET IT RIGHT WHEN IT'S DIRECTED AT ME!?" Usopp paused, then cleared his throat. "Though, I guess that just means I'm a good teacher. I mean, you're much better than you were before. Kind of."

Chopper looked back and forth between them with wide eyes, as though waiting for something. When nothing happened, he dissolved into laughter alongside Luffy. With a fond shake of the head, Usopp put on a stern mask.

"Try again! This time on Chopper!"

"Chopper, you have super cool antlers!"

"That's not even an insult!"

"EH!? You saying that doesn't make me the least bit happy!" Chopper said as he danced in absolute glee.

"Try again!"

"Seven transformations!"

"No!"

"Eight transformations!"

"Luffy!"

"Longnose!"

"HEY! Why am I the only one who keeps getting insulted!?"

They went on like that for hours with little to no progress. Would have gone on longer if Sanji hadn't called them over for Lunch. Though he felt these lessons were important, he also knew how crazy their chef got over food, especially the kind left uneaten. Besides, he figured Luffy was just the kinda guy that spoke with actions more than words. Oh well, Zoro and Sanji had the crew covered when it came to mouthing off, at least. And if worse came to worse, Usopp or Nami could always fill in for them.

Not that he'd given up. Even if it killed him, he'd beat _some_ grasp of insults into Luffy's rubbery head, but until he succeeded, the rest of them could handle the arguments and jibes that came with being a Pirate. Covering for the other's shortcomings was what Nakama were for, after all.

* * *

 **A/N: so I was thinking about Luffy calling Zoro "three sword style" as an insult earlier, and this kinda happened... Anyways, I'm really grateful for all the reviews I've received so far! Sorry if I don't reply, I don't really like the way the Private Messaging system is set up for this site so I avoid using it if I don't have to... but I have been reading them! You guys are the best!**


	9. A thoughtful present is the best kind

Brook couldn't remember what his face looked like. It was an odd thing to say, but the truth, nonetheless. If only a picture or two had survived the years of decay aboard his former ship, the years that had eaten away at his memory until hardly anything remained of his former self. Funny enough, he knew the faces of his former Crewmates so well he could've sketched them if he had any artistic talent besides music, but when it came to himself, he always drew a blank. Some days, he'd stare into the mirror for hours on end, scanning his cheekbones, every crevice in his skull, imagining skin overlaying the bone, tan—had he been tan?—eyes shaped like almonds, the color of... the ocean? A desert? Perhaps they'd been a muddy brown?

Except, he was a skeleton, so he had no—

"Brook?"

At the sound of his Crewmate's voice, he tore his gaze from the mirror to peer over his shoulder. Usopp was standing in the doorway of the bathroom, rubbing his eyes as a groggy yawn escaped his lips.

With a melodic laugh, Brook turned completely, pushing his weight against the Bathroom sink. "Why, good morning, Usopp-san! You certainly are up quite early this fine morning!"

"Toilet," Usopp answered, beelining for said object.

While Usopp pulled the straps of his overalls down, Brook made sure to break the silence with trivial things about his day thus far. He told him about the exquisite tea Sanji had brewed for him, and how it had soothed his tastebuds, except— "I'm a skeleton, so I don't have any taste buds! Yohohoho, skull joke!"

Usopp let out a low groan.

"Well, a tough audience I have today! It makes my pulse thrum with anticipation, except—"

"You don't have a pulse because you're a skeleton." Usopp finished for him, strolling to the door as he spoke.

"Usopp-san, please don't do that.." Brook breathed out, clutching both sides of the sink in a sulk. First Chopper stole his line, and now Usopp! At this rate, he would have to figure out a new joke!

"Uh, hey, is.."

Brook straightened at the tension in Usopp's voice.

"Everything okay?"

Well, that was rather unexpected. "Yes, yes, given I _am_ rather depressed my line was taken yet again, however, I—"

"No, no, I, uh, mean, you... uh, were staring into that mirror pretty intensely just now." As the last word left his mouth, Usopp's gaze fell to his shuffling feet.

For a moment, Brook just stared. Then, forcing his tone to remain chipper, he let out another laugh.

"I was just taking care of my beloved Afro! Nami-san's shampoo certainly works wonders for my frizz!"

"Ah. Okay." Usopp said in an 'I really didn't want to know that' manner. "I'm just gonna..."

Brook waited until the sound of footsteps faded before turning back to the mirror. His skeletal face gave not a hint of emotion. A familiar ache filled his chest where his heart should've been, but that didn't make sense because—

As he played his violin on deck later that evening, Brook could feel a gaze. He paused momentarily in his music, scanning the area for his supposed admirer.

By the mast, his Captain lay in a heap with Zoro and Chopper, all three snoring loudly. He took that as a compliment. Being able to put his crewmates to sleep was a great joy to him as a musician!

As for the rest, the ladies were lounging in the flickering patches of sunlight above, while Sanji's shoulder and blond hair occasionally became visible through the porthole on the Kitchen's door. Franky was nowhere to be seen, so perhaps he was working on another marvelous invention?

That left...

Swiveling his head, he caught sight of Usopp sitting against the railing on the other side of the deck. Here and there, his eyes would travel to Brook, a sharp glint to them, as though he was dissecting him mentally.

Being on the receiving end of this look was a rather uncomfortable sensation, to say the least.

Lowering his violin, Brook approached him. "Would you like to request a song?"

"Huh?" He asked, tone distant as his eyes bore intently into his knees, which were folded near his chest. "Ah, no, thank you."

Brook tilted his head, "Are you perhaps working on something?"

He'd hit the nail on the head, judging by the color that flooded the boy's cheeks.

"Uh, well," Usopp grinned sheepishly, a finger scratching his chin. "I wasn't really sure, but I did some guesses, judging by the bone structure, you see.."

Brook listened patiently as his crewmate rambled on and on, until Usopp shifted, hands retrieving a sketchbook that'd been leaning against his lap.

"Here, take a look!"

Brook took the book offered to him, bony hands turning it around until he found a page covered in lines of charcoal.

"What a magnifice—" The words died in his throat. Except, he didn't have a throat, because.. because...

The thought froze as his mind tried to work out what he was staring at. Meanwhile, Usopp rubbed the nape of his neck, saying something about anatomy and artistic inferences.

"Oh, dear," Brook said, voice catching, coming out choked. "It's..."

Usopp's nervous grin shifted to him.

"It's me."

His cheeks were gaunt, that's right, he'd always had sharp cheekbones! His eyes were more narrow than almondy, the skin beneath them crinkled in a heartfelt grin, one that showed teeth behind his lips.

That's right. How could he have forgotten?

It was.. It was... "It's perfect."

Several drops of water plopped onto the paper, and he quickly moved it out of the way before it could smear the drawing.

"It's perfect." He sobbed again then again. "Thank you!"

"Hey, don't mention it!" Usopp chuckled, swiping a thumb across his nose. "You can keep it!"

Usopp went on to tell a tale of how he saved his entire village by painting a picture of a group of invading Pirates, no, it was an entire fleet of Pirates, no, not a mere fleet, they also worked directly under a Yonkou! As the story went on, it grew more and more bizarre, but Brook was hardly listening, too captivated by the picture. He could hardly see it through the tears puddling in his eye sockets, but even then, he knew without a doubt it was the most wonderful thing he'd ever seen.

A raspy snicker off to the side announced the presence of his Captain. He was watching his Crewmate's exchange with a wider than life grin, one that both Chopper and Zoro mirrored.

"Hey, I wanna see Brook's face too!" Luffy exclaimed, racing over with Chopper at his heels.

"Me too!"

As they laughed and cheered, the haze in Brook's mind finally seemed to clear, making room for a single thought, perhaps the only one that mattered.

He was so glad to be alive!

* * *

 **A/N: Just something I wrote real quick. I was thinking since I can hardly remember what I look like off the top of my head as is, it must be ten times worse for Brook, who hasn't even seen his own face in over 50 years. Poor guy.**


	10. Even Eggplants get hurt sometimes

**A/N: This ended up way fluffier than I'd intended but ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯**

 **Anyways, this arc has been killing me so here's a story about Sanji and his _real_ family**

* * *

It all started with a loud crash. Patty and Carne froze mid-argument, fists still raised, mouths still open. The Lil' Eggplant, likewise, paused, a thin trail of water pattering the plate in his hands. Muffled shouts, then a heavy thud followed. In unison, the three moved to the door, nearly identical scowls taking over their features. Zeff let them go this time, simply picking up the abandoned plate and rinsing the rest of the suds off. He figured it was just another pirate brat who'd shown up thinking he could get a free meal. Ha, they got about four of those a day, and the jackasses still hadn't learned that wasn't possible.

Zeff smirked. Messing with a chef of the sea was tantamount to suicide, everyone who dared set sail should know this.

He'd just finished scrubbing a bowl when the sound of glass shattering split the air, and everything went deathly silent. No yelling, no crashing, nothing.

Frowning, Zeff dried his hands on the nearest rag before making his way into the Galley. As the door passed his shoulder, he noticed a crowd had formed around the outskirts, hands cupped over their mouths, eyes wide. Whispers passed amongst their ranks, followed by muffled gasps as Patty shoved his way through, fists clenched tight enough to turn his knuckles gray.

Zeff edged closer, tension working its way into his shoulders. What the hell was going on?

Another shove and Patty had made it to the center, where a scrawny man was glowering at him, face two shades too pale. Judging by the uniform he was a Marine Lieutenant, dark hair slicked back over his scalp.

"W-What, you gotta problem!? Huh!?"

"You bet your ass I do!" Patty snarled, taking the Marine by his shirt's collar and drawing his other fist behind his head.

Before anything could be said, before anyone could argue or explain themselves, his fist was sent rocketing into the Marine's nose with a sickening crack.

The Marine's body rolled across the floor until he collided into a table, taking it with him to the nearest wall.

Zeff was anything but happy at this. He might've torn into that bastard for breaking things in his restaurant right then and there if he hadn't noticed something. Off to the right, several of his chef's were crouched on the floor, Carne in the center. He was stooped down as though holding a heavy bag of flour, but judging from the unhappy look on his face, it couldn't have been that.

"D-Doctor!" He said, forehead beaded with sweat as his gaze jerked from side to side. "We need a Doctor!"

Doctor? They had no Doctor aboard, what the hell—

Zeff spotted a pair of tiny feet between the gap of shoulders. A prickly sensation already setting in his leg, he surged forward, shoving a few chefs out of the way. They were too shocked to protest, mouths hanging open, eyes round as plates. Not a good sign.

He'd already pieced together the cause of this, and yet, when his gaze fell on the tiny bundle in Carne's arms, his mind went blank.

A brat had been injured. Not just any brat. _His_ brat. _His_ brat was lying unnaturally still. _His_ brat had a trail of blood dripping down the side of his head, staining Carne's pants in blotches of red.

"E-Eek!"

At the sound of a startled shriek, Zeff turned towards the exit, where a group of chefs were blocking the Marine in. The one in the middle smacked a dough roller threateningly in an open palm, while the others brandished a mixture of steak knives and large forks. All the while, Patty approached from behind, cracking his knuckles.

"W-Who do you lowlives think you are, huh!?" He crowed, fists clenched in front of him. "I am a Lieutenant of high prestige, you unruly savages should be grateful to wait on me!"

Without another thought, Zeff marched over, signaling for Patty to stand down. "Enough. I won't have any of this nonsense in my restaurant."

"B-But Head Chef—!"

Not allowing him to finish, he smashed his peg leg into the Marine's stomach, sending him flying through the doors with barely enough time for the others to dodge out of the way.

"Don't you ever set foot in here again, you lowlife scum. You aren't even worthy of the dirt off our boots."

A series of cheers met his rebuke, his cooks yelling their agreement along with a string of insults for the man. It died down rather fast, however, at Carne's next shout.

"Shit! That's great and all, but we could really use a Doctor over here!"

Patty's jaw clamped shut, lips spreading into a tight line as his gaze dropped to the floor. Zeff trailed closer, pausing only when a young woman stepped out from the crowd, a hand gripping her collar.

"U-Um, I'm a nurse... I can have a look at him.."

Carne nodded vigorously, tears pricking at his eyes. "Thank you, lady!"

Meanwhile, Zeff raised a brow at Patty. "Well? What the hell happened?"

Patty's chin snapped up at this, teeth bared in a snarl. "It was that cocky Marine bastard! Damn jerk threw a fit when he was told he had to pay like all the other customers!"

For the first time, Zeff spotted an assortment of bruises on some of the chef's, the most gruesome being a black eye.

"Wasn't that big a' deal," He rambled on. "We were just gonna rough 'em up and kick him out, but then he had the audacity to chuck a bowl into the crowd, where..." His spirit dwindled at the end, shoulders hunching in defeat. "Please forgive us Head Chef, we didn't see it coming, honest!"

The other cook's nodded along, though somberly.

Zeff drew in a deep breath, exhaling the words: "Well, what are ya bastards waitin' for? We have a restaurant to run." He waved a hand at Carne, gesturing to the backroom. "Take the Lil' Eggplant upstairs."

"Yes, Head Chef!" They shouted in unison.

Within moments, the customers had been seated, waiter's moving between tables, chef's filing into the Kitchen.

Zeff's gaze lingered on the shards of a broken bowl, a few of the pieces smeared with blood along the edges. He shook the grimace off before it could form. No use dwelling on it. Besides, he'd seen worse, much worse.

He remained downstairs, helping get things back in motion. No one's heart was in it, though. Even the regulars cast numerous concerned looks in the direction of the staircase.

 _You'd think a damn dog had been kicked,_ He grumbled inwardly, but there wasn't any venom in it.

Zeff didn't allow himself to drift upstairs until Carne came to fetch him, offering to trade posts.

The brat had been taken to his bedroom, where he lay in the center of his mattress, sheets carefully draped over him, bandages wrapped around his head, with small tufts of blond hair sticking out between.

The lady knelt beside him, wringing a wet rag into a bucket. Zeff noted with a lack of fervor, a murky red was mixed in with the water.

"Oh dear." She was muttering. "So young too.."

"..Is there a problem?"

With a yelp, she whirled around, flinging several droplets of water across the room in the process.

"Ah! Oh no! I'm so sorry!"

Sighing, he shifted his weight onto his good leg. "S'fine. How's the Lil' Eggplant doing?"

At that, she sobered, casting a frown at the brat's gently heaving chest.

"There's no way to be certain right now." A pause, then she squeaked and covered her mouth. "I-I mean, with head trauma you never know what you're going to get! We can't be certain whether he's sustained any forms of amnesia or brain damage until after he wakes up!"

Zeff scowled at this, "Brain damage?"

"L-Like temporary blindness or difficulty with speech.. However the blow was to his frontal lobe, so memory impairment is more plausible. I stitched him up the best I could, but you should really see a doctor."

Zeff studied the brat, the laxness to his features, the slight wince whenever his head shifted in his sleep. Memory impairment? Maybe that wouldn't be too bad. At least, he wouldn't be so damn mouthy anymore. Then again, the idea of the brat sitting quietly, not stirring up a fuss or bickering with Patty or Carne didn't sit right with him.

"Feel free to return to your table now." He said, running a hand through his beard. "Your meal's on us."

"Ah, n-no, it's all right!" She pushed herself upright, palms raised in front of her. "I could never turn my back on an injured person, especially not a child! I'm just glad I could be of use!"

"Please." He said, more of an order than a question.

"...All right.. thank you, sir!" With a polite bow, she backed out of the room, closing the door behind her.

Zeff shifted his gaze to his brat. Truly, he was an unlucky one. First starvation and now this.

The sound of stomping drew Zeff's attention to the door once more, and he only had a moment to prepare himself before Patty came barging in, a group of chef's at his heels.

"HOW'S SANJI!?"

He didn't know. "Don't you bastards have work you should be doing?"

A couple grunts, then Carne pushed his way inside the room, fingers wrung in front of him. "W-Well, ya see Head Chef, it just didn't feel right to keep working after everything..." Despite the sunglasses, Zeff knew Carne's eyes had darted to the Lil' Eggplant. "..'Sides, We left a few to wrap up for the evening."

For a bunch of criminals and former pirates, they were being rather soft right now. Or, perhaps it was just the brat they had a soft spot for. If that were the case, then... Zeff sighed, "Do as you like."

Exchanging shiteating grins, Patty and Carne closed the gap, the others following a bit slower, some out of nervousness, the rest because there simply wasn't enough space.

"Well, Head Chef, how is he?" Patty asked again, practically chewing off his nails at this point.

"Fine," Zeff grunted. "The brat isn't weak enough to be taken out by a damn bowl."

"That's right!" Patty cheered, an instant change in demeanor.

"Our Sanji isn't that weak!"

"Yeah!"

"He'll be up and at 'em in no time!"

A slurred grumble from the Lil' Eggplant cut through the chorus of cheers. They watched in silence as he swiped a hand in their general direction, as though trying to swat a fly. Zeff cracked a grin at this, while Patty and Carne tried to look offended.

"Well, I don't need another hint!" Patty said, jerking his head away and crossing his arms.

Carne mimicked him, "Yeah, tell us how you really feel, brat!"

Laughter filled the air, chasing away the gloom that had gathered. It reminded Zeff of the banquets his crew used to have, of the nights they'd spent drinking beneath the stars with nothing but the clothes on their backs and the wind in their sails. The thought made the tension in his shoulders ease a bit, but at the same time, it left a sour taste on his tongue. Reminded him what a failure of a captain he'd been, and what a failure of a parent he was proving to be.

If it were someone different, the kind of person he'd seen walk passed many times with their brat's hand in theirs, this wouldn't have happened.

He wasn't cut out to be a parental figure to anyone. They'd spent a year together thus far, and this was the third time he'd almost lost his brat forever.

As the night dragged on, the crowd thinned considerably. Chefs trickled downstairs to the barracks, while the ones that stayed passed out where they sat, empty bottles of rum and gin scattered across the floor.

Zeff had retreated to the balcony for some fresh air, draping his forearms over the railing as he stared out at the blackened sea.

"Ya wan' a drink Head Chef?"

At Patty's slurred question, he craned his neck to peer over his shoulder. The cook staggered through the doorway, a half empty bottle held in front of him.

With a sigh, Zeff took it, setting it beside his peg leg. "You've had enough."

"Whaaaat ya jus' say?" Patty drawled, nearly falling over the railing in an attempt to lean against it. A heartbeat passed, two, three, then he rested his chin in an open palm. "..Ya think Sanji's gonna be alright? Ya said those things, but ya didn' sound so sure of it."

Rather than answer, Zeff scanned the horizon, trying to figure out where the ocean ended and the inky sky began. Patty didn't seem to mind, as he rambled on and on about things Zeff could hardly understand.

"—he yers? Ya've never said."

At that, Zeff finally shifted his stare to Patty. Was pondering over a response when a whimper from the bedroom caught their attention. Not missing a beat, Zeff moved to the bed, where the Lil' Eggplant had cracked a glassy eye open, clammy fingers reaching for the bandages. Zeff caught his tiny hand in his own before he could succeed, moving it to lay on his chest.

"You'll make it worse, brat."

The Lil' Eggplant tried to turn his head, then froze with a wince, like doing so had hurt him. "Geezer?"

"Who else do you suppose it'd be?"

Well, that settled that, his brat's memory was just fine. Patty sighed beside him, a mixture of relief and exhaustion.

His brat shifted in another failed attempt to locate him. "What happened?"

Guess he'd spoken a bit too soon.

"A Lil' Eggplant like you shouldn't stress over the details. Get some rest, I need my sous chef up and running soon as possible."

With the faintest of smiles tracing his lips, his brat's eye fluttered shut. "Mhm. I—fine—morrow—eezer."

As his breathing evened out, Zeff placed a calloused palm on the Lil' Eggplant's dampened forehead. Judging by the heat radiating from his skin like a mini furnace, the Eggplant had a fever. Even though he wanted to avoid a Doctor if possible, he may not have a choice. A Doctor's fee would take several months worths of pay, not to mention they were still in debt, but the brat's health was more important. If the fever hadn't lessened by morning, he'd take him to a hospital in Loguetown.

At the sound of Patty closing the balcony door, Zeff retracted his hand, sweeping the loose strands of hair from his visible eye in the process.

"I am this brat's parent."

Not an explanation. Not a question. Neither were needed. They may not be related to each other, but until now, Zeff had been the one caring for him, not some holier-than-thou blood relative, and that was that.

Patty grinned a little too widely, though didn't comment. Instead, he strolled over to Carne, who'd fallen asleep at the foot of the bed, shaking him without a hint of gentleness. Carne snapped awake in a whirlwind of slurred curses, while Zeff sighed, a tug at the corner of his mouth.

"Shifts!" Patty announced once they'd both settled down.

Carne pinched the bridge of his nose, "Wha—?"

"For Sanji!" He supplied, like that explained everything.

That didn't make a lick of sense, but lucky for Patty, Zeff was already fluent in drunk speak. "I'll have the first shift. Until then, sober up you lot of bastards."

"Yes, Head Chef!"

As he watched the two trudge out of the room in a flurry of elbows and kicks, he settled on the side of the mattress.

"Parent."

Blinking, he swiveled his gaze to the Lil' Eggplant, who had finally located him, eye wide in a mixture of weariness and... hope?

"You're my... Parent?"

A scathing retort lingered on his tongue, but at the confusion tangled in his brat's expression, as though the prospect of anyone wanting him was unthinkable, he couldn't force the words out. "..That's right."

A toothy grin broke across his pale cheeks, followed by a breathy laugh. Zeff opened his mouth to order the Lil' Eggplant to sleep, but the brat was way ahead of him, head falling limp on his pillow.

With a sigh, Zeff leaned against the wall. He couldn't help but wonder if losing his memories would've been better for the brat. At least, he wouldn't be tormented by their near starvation, nor that damn imaginary debt he'd convinced himself he owes Zeff. At the rate they were going, the stubborn fool may refuse to leave altogether, staying in this Restaurant until one of them met their end.

He didn't like that.

Even if the brat ended up hating him, he'd damn well make sure he followed his dream. After all, he could say he didn't care anymore, could say he wanted to be a chef above all, but the brat's smile was always the widest when he spoke of the All Blue. Zeff wouldn't let him throw that away, no, he wouldn't fail another one. As a parent, it was his job to do what was best for his brat, and looking at the seventy pounds of pure stubbornness at his side, he knew he had his work cut out for him.


	11. Night Terrors

Chopper had nightmares. He used to have them every single night, flashes of white as he ran from the townspeople, gunshots ripping through the air so brittle he could hardly draw in enough to keep his lungs satisfied.

On bad nights, the mob would be lead by Hiluluk or Doctorine, they'd cry everything was his fault, that Hiluluk would still be alive if not for him, that he would've been able to watch his dream come true. After joining Luffy, the nightmares had faded, but when they did resurface, they were far more painful.

Luffy would call him a monster, friendly smile having been replaced with that wide-eyed glare he only gave enemies.

Zoro's hand would slide to his swords, lips curving into that focused frown, the kind he wore before a fight, while Sanji's legs burst into flames and Franky readied his robotic arm for an attack.

Usopp and Nami would scream for him to get lost, pleading with the others to finish him already as Robin formed an 'X' with her arms, eyes cold enough to send shivers down his spine. Sometimes, she'd snap his neck, other times, Luffy would drive him off, or Zoro would slice him up.

Either way, he'd always wake gasping for air, heart slamming against his ribs a hundred miles per hour. As the shock faded, a gut wrenching guilt would take its place. How could he even dream such a scenario?

Luffy and the others would never do something like that! Yet, no matter how many times he told himself this, no matter how fervently he believed it, the nightmares never stopped. He wanted to cry from sheer frustration.

On nights like these, he'd normally look to the others for comfort, crawling into bed with them without a word of explanation. He could never tell them why. He was too ashamed.

This time, however, that wasn't an option.

Zoro was on watch, Franky and Usopp were working on a new weapon for the Sunny, and Sanji's bunk was empty, the sheets untouched. The only one in the boy's room was Luffy, and he'd already bothered him twice this week. He couldn't bring himself to do so a third time.

Instead, he hopped to the floor and pushed his way outside. A breeze ruffled his fur, carrying the smell of frost and salt, a promise of a Winter Island nearby. Reminding himself to tell Nami in the morning, he padded to the railing, pausing to look around. In the window of the Bird's Nest, he could see Zoro sitting cross-legged, meditating if he had to guess.

Off to the side, a sliver of light leaked from the Kitchen door, lighting up the flooring in a triangle of orange. Oh, so that's why his bed was empty. Sanji must be in the Kitchen. If he went in there, he could probably get something sweet...

Obeying his sweet tooth over reason, he headed inside, giving a polite greeting when the cook's gaze snapped to him. As he pulled himself into a seat at the table, Sanji paused, fingers still wrapped around a soapy rag and the faucet still dripping.

"Something wrong, Chopper?"

"Ah!"

Sanji's image flickered, curious frown shifting to an aggressive snarl, worried glint in his eye hardening into hatred.

"N-No!" Chopper stammered. "Everything's fine!"

At this, Sanji gave a thoughtful hum, though he didn't ask anymore, for which Chopper was grateful. Setting his rag in the sink, the cook began rinsing the suds off his hands. "Need something? Milk? A snack?"

"A snack!"

With a nod, he vanished beneath the countertops, resurfacing with a small pot. "How does pudding sound?"

"Ooh, that sounds great!"

While Sanji shuffled around inside the Pantry, the door to the Kitchen flew open, Franky strolling in, ducktail limp and bags under his eyes.

He beelined for the fridge, muttering something about not feeling so super beneath his breath. By the time Sanji returned with a bag of flour, Franky had typed in the code to the lock and was pulling out a cola.

"Grab me the eggs." Was all Sanji said as he walked passed.

If that had been Luffy or Usopp, Chopper knew he'd be giving him ice for a bruised jaw.

"Here you go, bro!" Franky said, setting the carton on the counter.

Chopper expected him to leave, after all, Franky _never_ stayed in one place for too long, so, when he plopped into the chair across from him, he gaped in shock.

"What?" Franky asked, slinging an elbow over the back of his seat. "Can't a guy take a break around here?"

"H-How is the canon going?"

"Heh, if you ask me," Franky threw his arms over his head, pressing them together, so both of his star tattoos combined to make a third. "It's going super well!"

"Ehh?"

"Usopp-bro fell asleep a while ago," He went on, returning to his slumped posture. "But I'm almost finished with the steel plating."

As Franky rambled on about mechanics and shipwright things he didn't understand, his mind drifted to his dream once again. To the cruel glares that reminded him so much of his father. Of said father smacking him into the snow, huffing through his nostrils in utter disgust.

His hoof subconsciously drifted to his nose, rubbing it lightly.

"Hey, bro, somethin' the matter?"

Blinking, Chopper lowered it.

In his peripheral vision, he watched Franky rest his arm on the table, leaning closer in a way that showed he was listening.

Behind the counter, he could hear the scraping of spatula against pan slow.

An image of his old herd burned behind his eyes, making them sting in unshed tears.

"Why didn't they want me?"

At that, the scraping stopped altogether.

Chopper didn't dare lift his blurry gaze from the floor.

With a blink, Franky sat up straighter, and Chopper realized the cyborg had no idea what he was referring to.

"T-They always m-made me walk in the back of th-the group," He tried to explain, breaths coming faster and faster as memories swarmed his brain. "A-And they forced me to leave cuz' my nose is blue, and I look funny, cuz'... cuz' I'm a monster!"

As the words escaped his mouth, he couldn't hold it in any longer, and he burst into tears. Silence hung over the room as he tried to compose himself, failing, sobs only growing harder.

After a minute or so had passed, Franky shifted again, resting his chin on an open palm. "Ya know, my folks dumped me too."

Chopper froze at that, finally raising his head to meet Franky's eyes. The cyborg was staring passed him, expression unreadable.

"..What?"

A lopsided smirk tugged at his lips, and he flipped his sunglasses up with his thumb. "That's right, I was just too super for them to handle! They were a bunch of jerks, really, no loss there! Plus, that's how I met my mentor, Tom!"

"Tom? Who's that?" Chopper asked, wiping his nose on a napkin Sanji handed him. "Thank you."

Sanji nodded briefly before returning to the stove.

"He was my mentor," He repeated, though there was no annoyance in it, only wistfulness. "He taught me everything I know. He was a real great guy, never did anything half-way."

Never did anything half-way, huh? That sounded like Hiluluk.

"I don't know much about your situation bro, but, I do know this," Franky raised his index finger. "Whoever didn't want you were plain stupid. I mean, c'mon, you're incredible! A _super_ great Doctor!"

Chopper's eyes stung with tears again. "Really?"

"I couldn't make that up even if I tried! And this is coming from the guy known as the King of Water Seven's underworld!"

Giving his nose another blow, he exclaimed, "You really think so!?"

"'Course I do!" A pause, then Franky's smirk widened. "Guess you were just too super for them to handle too!"

"I'm too super?" Chopper echoed, tears rolling down his cheeks at a faster rate.

"That's right!"

At this, Chopper returned his grin whole-heartedly. A bowl of vanilla pudding was set in front of him, the scent of cinnamon and nutmeg reaching his runny nose.

Sniffling before snot could dribble down his face, he said, "Thanks, Franky! Thanks, Sanji!"

Sanji grinned at him over his shoulder, walking to the pile of dirty dishes while Franky flipped his sunglasses back in place, pushing himself to his feet and grabbing his cola.

"Welp, I guess my work here is done! Now, I got a canon to build!" Striking a pose, he screamed, "YOW!"

Did that mean, he'd only stayed in here because of him? Because Franky noticed he looked upset?

His nose finally won, a bead of snot rolling down his snout.

"Oi, Chopper, blow your nose! That's disgusting!" Sanji shouted from the sink, making him and Franky burst out laughing.

"See ya!" The cyborg said with a wave, closing the door behind him.

Sanji sighed, but that fond smile never left his lips. "Bunch of mannerless dumbasses. Oi, hurry up and eat that so you can get out of my Kitchen already!"

Giggling, Chopper pulled the bowl closer, grabbing his spoon. Yeah, his friends wouldn't turn on him. He knew that.

They were the super ones.


	12. It's just a word

**A/N: Just a quick Nami-centric drabble. I want to write something from her perspective, but I'm not very good with her POV, so this is a warm-up of sorts until I think of something**

* * *

Nami used to hate the word Nakama. To her, it was just another form of control, another shackle keeping her from the freedom she wanted so desperately, not only for herself, but for every single person in Cocoyashi Village. Nakama was the term Arlong used again and again to hurt her, to remind her of her powerlessness, of the mother she'd watched get shot down.

When she'd formed an alliance with Luffy, it was under the agreement they were not comrades, simply working together, but the stubborn fool had referred to her as one of his own anyways. She'd correct him each time through gritted teeth, knowing sooner or later she'd have to betray him, that forming a bond with these people was plain stupid. Yet, before she realized, she _had_ become their friend. She _had_ wanted to stay, to help, to ensure their safety even if they hated her for it. To watch Luffy become the Pirate King with her own two eyes.

But, at the end of the day, that wasn't possible. Not while her family and the lives of her fellow villagers were being dangled in front of her. She could never abandon them, not after everything they'd done for her. Not after Bellemere.

She stole the Merry along with their possessions, left in the middle of a crisis, all in hopes Luffy would finally see the truth. That she was a thief, a traitor, the lowest of the low. Arlong's Nakama.

Yet, once more Luffy proved to be a dense moron, coming after her with the others, not for vengeance, but to bring her back. She couldn't believe someone could be so stupid. It wasn't until she watched Arlong park crumble to the ground, that she realized, it wasn't stupidity that had brought him there, it was Nakamaship, the word she despised so much.

They weren't just friends, they weren't just working together, nor were they simply family. Their bond went much deeper than that, unexplainable, nearly tangible, something she'd never had before, and likely, would never find in another group for as long as she lived. And looking at the three men grinning at them as she slid Luffy's hat onto his head, she knew they all felt it too.

This was the beginning of an era. No, this was the beginning of a legend.


	13. You know what they say about assumptions

The moment Nami saw the briefcase sitting by the man's feet, she knew she had to have it. Judging by the suit the man wore and his fancy golden watch, there had to be lots of Berry in there! No, maybe even pure gold!

She swooned at the thought, causing several passerbys to quicken their paces with startled glances at her. She ignored them.

If the guy really wanted that treasure, he should've taken better care of it! He made it too easy for her, his eyes glued to a newspaper, attention not shifting in the slightest as she walked passed, snagging the handle. When she neared the corner, she'd started to relax, figuring her theft had gone unnoticed.

Of course, that's when things went south.

"Thief!" A woman shrieked, a finger jabbed in her direction.

The man immediately whipped around, jaw dropping in disbelief at the sight of his briefcase in her hands. But instead of chasing after her, he gave a curt nod, mouth pressing into a thin line. "Take good care of it, young lady."

Nami wasted no time bolting around the corner. As if she'd fall for that! He just wanted her to doubt the briefcases value!

It took Nami under fifteen minutes to reach the dinky boats she'd left tied to the harbor. After all, she'd memorized the entire layout of town in case of a potential theft. She expected a certain swordsman and rubber-idiot to be waiting for her, as they should've finished gathering supplies hours ago, but instead, only the swordsman remained. Zoro—if she recalled correctly—was napping in the smaller boat, a barrel filled with who-knows-what at his side.

Honestly, she should've known better than to leave such an important task up to them! Just looking at that barrel made her blood boil. He had some nerve, wasting the Berry she'd so kindly lent with interest on something stupid!

Teeth gritted, she tore her glare from Zoro, searching once more for his so-called Captain. Yet, there still wasn't a trace of him, not on the rafts, nor in the Harbor. Agh, he was so frustrating!

As she drew closer, Zoro cracked an eye open, gaze sweeping over her lazily, until it settled on the briefcase at her hip. "The hell's that?"

"What does it look like?" She retorted, hopping onto her raft, and setting it safely inside the tiny cabin.

"I dunno," He yawned. "Somethin' you stole if I had to guess."

"Wow, so you can tell after all, huh?" She answered dryly, causing him to jerk upright without a trace of his previous sleepiness. "'Sides, it's not really stealing since I wanted it more than he did."

If he'd been listening to the last part, he gave no sign of it, lips pulling into a snarl. "You sure got some nerve mouthing off to—"

"HEY!" At the sound of the idiot Captain himself, the tension in the air dissipated. "NAMI! ZORO!"

About time he dragged his sorry self back here!

With a huff, she craned her neck in the direction his call had come from, only to discover him charging from the direction of town, an entire pack of Marines at his heels.

When the lead Marine saw them, he shouted, "Those must be his accomplices! Get them!"

"You idiot!" She cried, while Zoro hopped to his feet, eyes widened in alarm.

"Luffy!? The hell happened!?"

"I kicked a couple of their asses!" He said as though that explained everything, then he gave an obnoxious laugh that made her want to smack him.

Shooting his arm forward, he grabbed onto the side of the raft and shot himself square into Zoro's chest. At the sound of a dull crash, she almost felt sorry for the lazy bum.

"Set sail!" Luffy cheered like they were simply on an adventure, not being chased by a bunch of crazed Marines.

The heck did he do to them anyways? Agh, whatever! She had more important matters at hand.

She wasted no time readying her sails, and by the time the boys had begun to row away, there was a good yard between them.

Spinning on her heel, she waved to the Marines gathered at the edge of the Harbor. "See ya around boys! Thanks for all the gold!"

"Gold!?" Luffy exclaimed, abandoning rowing in favor of leaning over the side of his boat.

"Hey, don't stop!"

Ignoring Zoro, she winked, "That's right!"

Of course, she didn't risk opening it until she was a good hour away from the island.

"I wanna see!" Luffy called over to her, practically oozing excitement at this point.

Meanwhile, Zoro snorted, "Like there's really gold in there."

Nami promptly tossed it to him. "See for yourself."

With an annoyed scowl, he popped open the case, then... burst into laughter? What!?

"You sure you want this, Nami!?" He snorted, tears brimming in his eyes.

"What the hell's so funny!?" She snapped, easily jumping the tiny gap between their boats and snatching it from his hands, where she found, she found...

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!?" She shrieked, allowing the briefcase to tumble onto the weathered wood. As it hit the ground, it opened further, making its contents visible for the whole world to see.

It was a painting, right? It had to be, it was framed and everything, except, it had to be the ugliest thing she'd ever seen! With the head of a pug, a man's body lay sprawled out on a red carpet, glossy abs and rose petals spread around it—whatever it freaking was! She thanked every religion she could think of for the conveniently placed vase that blocked its lower half, she only wished that stupid wink had been covered as well.

Luffy had gone rigid beside her, and she expected him to cry out, to shout how hideous it was, but instead, his face had lit up like a child receiving a present.

"Woah!" He exhaled. "This is even better than gold!"

Nami collapsed to her knees, soul escaping with every breath. "My... My treasure.."

"Can we keep it!? Can we!?"

"Do whatever you want with it," She sobbed, "Just get it out of my sight!"

There was no way that hideous thing could fetch a price, she'd probably be thrown out of the store and blacklisted for even trying to pawn it off!

However, little did she know, she would've been better off trying her chances selling it. When she'd given Luffy free reign over that monstrosity, it was under the assumption she wouldn't be around much longer, anyways. Now, staring at the disgusting thing hanging above the bathroom sink, she wanted to bang her head against the wall.

"Uhh," Sanji droned, a finger raised in the monstrosities direction. "What the hell is that thing?"

"Dunno," Usopp answered. Then he leaned closer in a poor attempt at whispering, peeking at her without an ounce of discretion. "I tried asking Nami, but she gets really mad whenever I bring it up for some reason."

"Nami-san does!?" Sanji exclaimed, only to be frantically shushed by Usopp. He whirled around to face her anyways. "Ah, what happened, my love! What did this ugly thing do to you!?"

"Enough, before she gets mad!" Usopp snapped, grabbing Sanji by his shoulders and moving between them. When he'd deemed he had their new crewmates undivided attention, he jabbed a thumb at himself.

"Now, onwards with your tour of the one and only Going Merry!"

Rolling his visible eye, Sanji shoved his hands into his pockets. "Riiight."

As the two walked passed, Nami returned her gaze to what had to be her life's greatest regret.

She sniffled, "It's not fair!"

* * *

 **A/N: Tada! Something Nami-related just like I said! Also, thanks again for all the reviews you guys have given me! T~T They make my day without fail, you all rule!**


	14. So, a Pirate walks into a bar

The joke starts like this. One day, a Pirate walks into a bar...

* * *

Shank's hadn't planned on staying in Foosha long. It was just the routine 'gather supplies and try not to cause trouble' kind of visit. He'd planned on leaving right after his crew finished stocking up, but when he spotted a shack with the words: 'Party's Bar,' imprinted above the doorway, he couldn't help himself. A small drink wouldn't hurt anyone, now would it? Nope. In fact, it may even help someone, namely Shank's himself! He was itching for some booze, after all!

As he drew closer to the bar, one of the younger members of his crew stepped into his path, head lowered in respect.

"Captain, we're almost finished w—"

"That's good, that's good," Shanks snickered, throwing an arm around his underling's neck and pulling him along. "Now c'mon, let's go have a drink!"

"Huh!?" The guy exclaimed, skin losing its usual dark tint. "B-But if Beckman finds out you're—"

"It'll be fine! Relax!"

"Y-Yes, Captain!"

"Jus' call me Shanks!" As he spoke, he pushed the saloon doors open, rays of sunlight cutting through the dimly lit room. It was much nicer on the inside, the tables spotless and the floor gleaming. Weren't many customers, though.

Oh, well. More for him.

The few people who were there gasped, eyes glued to him the whole way to the bar. He paid them no mind, relinquishing his hold on his subordinate and plopping into a stool. From the rows of tables behind him, a pretty lady approached, a tight smile spreading across her lips.

"Hey!" Someone whispered. "Wait!"

Another hissed, "Don't go near them! Those men are Pirates!"

Shank's didn't spare them a glance. People fearing Pirates was nothing unusual. In fact, it was totally normal, smart even. He couldn't fault them for their reactions. Not one bit.

Ignoring her customers, the lady swept behind the bar, polite mask never wavering, no matter how forced it may have seemed. He couldn't help the kernel of respect budding in his chest at the sight. This lady had guts.

"H-Hello, sir," She said, tucking a loose strand of green hair behind her ear. "What can I do for you today?"

With a cheeky grin, he raised two fingers, "We'll have two mugs of the best rum you got!"

"N-None for me!" His subordinate stuttered out, backing away as though he believed the bar would burst into flames at any moment. "I don't want Vice-Captain Beckham to kill me!"

"Nonsense," Shanks waved him off. "Don't listen to him lady! Tha—"

"Go away!"

Shank's paused. Craning his neck, he locked eyes with a kid sitting at the end of the bar, fingers still curled around a glass of orange juice. He was a total runt by the looks of it, hair a mop of black, chubby face scrunched up in an attempt at a fierce glare.

Shanks liked the kid immediately.

"Didn' you hear me!? Leave already!"

"Oh," He hummed, resting his chin on an open palm. "And why should I?"

"'Cuz if you don't, I'll make you!" The kid spat, scrambling to stand on his stool.

"Hold on," His subordinate snarled, beginning to clear the distance between them. "Do you realize who you—"

Shank's held out an arm. "Sorry, kid. We didn't mean to overstep our boundaries. We'll leave."

After all, he didn't like the idea of fighting a kid. Moving to the door, he gave the briefest of waves.

"W-Wait, you don't have to leave!" The Bartender shouted after him, but he wasn't listening. "Sir!"

"Captain!"

* * *

A kid yells for him to leave, and he immediately does so, baffling the small child, who only knew Pirates to be plunderers and crooks.

* * *

When Shanks saw the kid from the Bar later that afternoon, he couldn't help the shiteating grin that spread across his cheeks. He didn't think it possible, but the kid was even shorter up close! He got a good laugh out of that as he wandered over to him, watching as the kid tried to skip a rock across the murky waves lapping at the harbor.

"Hey, it's you! Come here often?"

At his greeting, the kid cocked his head, eyes round, though not in fear. As recollection swept over his features, the kid hopped to his feet, a finger jabbed at him.

"You dumb Pirate! I told you to leave, didn't I!?"

"Did you?" Shank's gaze drifted to the sky, scanning the swirl of white and orange. "Don't remember."

"Hey—!"

Plopping beside him and throwing his feet over the edge, he asked, "So, you're friend's with that Bartender, right?"

"That's none of your business!" The kid snapped, rearing up as though to fight.

"Ohh, so you are, then!? Hey, mind telling me her name!?"

"Like I'd tell you Makino's—" The kid broke off, eyes widening in horror as his hands flew to his mouth. "Oops."

Shanks hunched over laughing, tears threatening to spill down his cheeks.

"Stop laughing at me!" The boy snapped, not missing a beat.

Shanks proceeded to laugh harder. This kid was a riot! Picking on him could easily become his favorite pastime!

"Hey," He said as his outburst began to subside. "Wanna hear a story?"

* * *

When they met again, he spoke with the boy, telling him tales of his adventures, of the battles he'd fought, of the places he'd seen, until the kid finally came out and said, "You can't be a Pirate!"

* * *

Shanks frowned, "Why do you say that, kid?"

"Because," He said, raising his arms to stress his point. "Gramps said Pirates are _evil!_ But you're super cool—like a hero!"

At that, Shank's burst into another fit of laughter. "You think I'm a hero!? What a kid!"

"Shut up!" He exclaimed, springing to his feet once more. "I'm not a kid, I'm seven! I'm a man now!"

Drawing in a breath to compose himself, he tipped his head to watch a cloud roll passed. "Well, you're not wrong, kid, there are a lot of bad Pirate's out there, and I may not fancy their way of doing things, but I'm in no way a hero." With a grin, he returned his gaze to the boy. "I just think being a Pirate is more about the freedom, ya know? All that plundering and bullying just isn't for me."

For several heartbeats, the boy stared with owlish eyes. "I don't get it." A pause, then a wide smile spread across his lips, one that reminded Shanks so much of his former Captain, he could only stare slack-jawed. "But that sounds so cool!"

"You think that sounds cool, huh?" Shanks murmured as his senses returned. "Yeah, it is pretty cool, isn't it?"

"Yo, Shanks!"

At the sound of Yasopp's voice, Shank's peered over his shoulder. His crewmate was standing near the end of the pier, a crate in his arms.

"This is the last one!"

"All right," He replied, hoisting himself up. "Thanks for your hard work."

"'Course, Captain!"

Shank's had taken a step to leave, lips parting to form a farewell, but before he could, a soft whine stopped him in his tracks.

"You're leaving already?"

The kid was staring up at him, brown eyes round in disappointment. Shank's heart clenched in something akin to... guilt? That wasn't like him!

Forcing a grin, he turned to the kid. "What are you talking about, you wanted me to leave, didn't you?"

"Y-Yeah," The kid stammered, hopping to his feet as well. "But that was then, and this is now!"

"Sorry kid, I got places to be," He apologized, surprising even himself with its sincerity. "I can't stay here long."

A sigh and the kid slumped onto the side of the harbor once more, chucking a pebble into the sea. "That's what Gramps always says too."

Unsure how to respond, Shanks took a step after Yasopp, who had long since vanished aboard their ship. One step, two steps, then he made the mistake of looking behind him, watching as the kid, again, tried unsuccessfully to skip a pebble. Hadn't anyone taught him how to do that?

His gaze flickered to the ship. Then to the kid.

Heaving a sigh that tugged at his shoulders, he retraced his path to the kid, plopping beside him with a soft smirk. Benn was gonna kill him, but it wouldn't hurt to stay a little longer, now would it?

"Hey, you're doing that all wrong! Pass me one, I'll show you how it's done..." He trailed off purposely.

The kid's head snapped to him, that wide smile making its return, flooding Shanks with affection for the kid.

"My name's Luffy!"

"Luffy, huh? Not bad. Mine's Shanks. Now watch closely, Luffy, it's all in how you flick your wrist—"

* * *

The joke ends like this, one day a Pirate befriends a boy from a small village, unbeknownst to either of them at the time, the innocent bond they'd forged would one day bring the entire world to its knees.


	15. Twas the night no fucks were given

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the Sunny, not a Strawhat was stirring, not even the younglings.

Not a stocking was hung, as not a crewmate cared, whether or not Saint Nicholas would truly be there.

Then what to my disbelieving eyes would soon appear, a miniature sleigh and eight noisy reindeer.

I knew right away this wouldn't end well, awakening the Strawhats after a night of partying was most certainly hell.

Quick as a flash, Sanji's shoe hit his jaw, sending Saint Nicholas into a sleeping moron.

"The hell!?" The moron shouted, a sword already raised, and I knew Saint Nicholas would very soon pay.

And up to the Bird's Nest, Saint Nicholas flew, along with his sleigh and all his reindeer too.

Down to the ground he came with a thud, his jaw was bruised and he was covered in blood.

He spoke not a word, simply staring in shock, as the two who had attacked him attempted to beat each other up.

I crouched beside him and he turned with a jerk, jaw having dropped at the sight of my smirk.

I could barely contain my excitement as we both locked eyes, "I won't remind them you're here, but it'll come at a price."

* * *

 **A/N: I know a lot of people like Luffy, Usopp and Chopper gushing over Santa, but I could honestly see it going either way. I can picture them excited over presents, and I can picture them arguing over who got more coal than the other. They are Pirates after all! Anyways, I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas!**


	16. It takes time

Robin pulled her blanket closer, shivering despite the afternoon sun. The Merry swam with life around her, the younger members playing a peculiar mixture of tag and charades while the older ones kept to themselves, Nami checking their course, Sanji preparing snacks and Zoro napping by the mast. As Luffy froze mid-run, posing as though he'd fallen asleep standing, Robin pinched her nose against a sneeze.

"You're Zoro!"

A chorus of laughter followed, and she smiled softly despite the throbbing in her throat. This cold was certainly getting the better of her. She swallowed, wincing as the saliva went down like shattered glass, then sat straighter, returning her gaze to her book and scanning the words. She reread the page several times, mind not seeming able to process them, before she closed it once more with a tired sigh. Perhaps she should retire to her room for awhile?

Across the deck, Chopper scampered after Usopp, small hoofs held in front of him as he tried to tag his friend's leg. Although he was still afraid of her to some extent, he was the Doctor of this ship. If she were to ask, he would surely supply her with medicine to help manage this cold.

Yet, at the sight of his much too wide grin, she couldn't bring herself to say anything. Why spoil their fun? After all the fighting they'd done on Skypiea, they deserved a break.

She would simply sleep this off, as she had many times before. There was no need to stir up a fuss. Draping her blanket over an arm and collecting her book, she headed to her and Nami's shared room, acknowledging the questioning look said Navigator shot her with a careful smile.

As she settled on the side of her mattress, she checked the position of the sun once more, gauging she had at least three hours until Dinner was ready. More than enough time. With that in mind, she pulled the covers over her.

When she awoke to a darkened room and a dull ache in her stomach, she realized she may have miscalculated. Hoisting herself onto her elbows, she scanned the room, locating Nami asleep under a clump of blankets. She had expected her roommate to wake her, whether it was intentional or by accident.

Robin, after all, had always been a light sleeper. Even the smallest of sounds could rouse her from sleep, no matter how deep. This cold must be affecting her more than she'd thought.

Sliding her feet off the bed, she moved to the door, careful not to stir her crewmate. They may have decided to leave her be, but she was certain the cook had set aside her portion for later. From what she'd observed, he wasn't the type to waste food.

When she'd made it to the Kitchen, she found her share in the fridge. Tonight, he'd made a stew by the looks of it. While she reheated it on low, she busied herself brewing a cup of coffee. Dehydrating herself wouldn't help her condition, nor would the cream she poured into it, but it would help alleviate the thrumming in her temples, she was sure. She'd just sat down with a cup and a steaming bowl when the door flew open.

"LUFFY, YOU BETTER NOT B—"

The cook broke off mid-sentence, visible eye going round.

"..Robin?"

Lips tightening into a smile, she raised the cup to her mouth. "It's a fine night, don't you agree, Cook-san?"

Frowning, he straightened and shoved a hand into his pocket. His fingers resurfaced wrapped around a cigarette carton, and it wasn't until he had one lit that he strolled inside. "You should've woken me. There's no need for such a lovely lady to trouble herself with food preparations when I'm around."

"I'll remember that for next time."

A pause and he leaned against the counter. "Nami-san tried to wake you, but she said you weren't responding."

At that, Robin's mouth twitched downwards. That wasn't like her at all. "Is that so?" She asked, hiding her frown behind her cup.

He studied her for a moment, not in the usual lustful manner, but instead, there was an edge to it; like he'd figured out something was wrong and was currently planning the death of whatever had dared cause it.

"You—" He started to say, but the sound of the door creaking open brought him to an abrupt stop.

Silently, they both craned their necks, locking eyes with their young Captain, who was peering into the Kitchen through the slit. He blinked, pushed the door open further, then crept along the wall, gaze shifting to the refrigerator.

With an annoyed sigh, Sanji smashed the bud of his cigarette against an ashtray. "That won't work you, moron! We can literally see you!"

Luffy's eyes widened in shock, "Ah!"

"Come on, did you really think that would work!?"

Pushing off the wall, Luffy's voice lowered into a pitiful whine, "Don't be so stingy, Sanji! I'm hungry!" When he noticed her food, his pout shifted into a slighted glare. "Why does _she_ get a midnight snack!?"

"'Stingy'?" Sanji repeated in a low growl, "This is Robin's dinner you shithead!"

As she watched the two bicker, a fuzzy sensation flooded her head. Setting her cup down, she rested her forehead in her palms, wincing as the room began to spin.

This wasn't—

She—

"Robin?"

Through the ringing in her ears, Luffy's soft call cut in, then a loud yell.

" _Robin!"_

She hadn't realized she'd fallen until her shoulder slammed into the floor. The cook and her Captain were at her side in an instant, yelling things she couldn't make out through the haze. Finally, Luffy waved his arm frantically at the door, and Sanji took off running.

A hand touched her shoulder as Luffy leaned closer, mouth forming words, panicked ones at that judging from his expression. She couldn't help but smile a little at his concern before the world faded out.

* * *

A little girl stumbled through the snow, skin burning with every gust of wind, the muscles in her legs throbbing painfully. Her toes and fingers had gone numb hours ago, reminding her of a book she'd read, one where a group of travelers had found themselves stranded on an icy mountain peak. Before the cold took their limbs, they'd lost all feeling in them as well. That meant, if she didn't find somewhere warm, she'd also lose body parts to frostbite, wouldn't she?

The girl didn't want that, and yet, she trudged onward, eyes trained on the glittering hills that stretched as far as she could see.

She knew if she stopped, she'd die, whether from the elements, or the group of Marines that had chased her out of town.

The thought should've filled her with terror, should've set her blood afire, but she felt nothing. Dying didn't sound bad anymore. Hadn't for awhile. Everything she loved had been taken from her, everything she wanted was too far for her to reach.

As her shoe slid into the snow once more, she lost her balance, tumbling face first with a startled yelp. Like fire, the snow scalded her skin, a teeth-chattering cold seeping into her bones. Despite that, she made no effort to get up.

Her body ached, her eyes felt heavy. She didn't want to take another step. Didn't want to push herself up. Didn't want to go on any longer.

Her eyelids began to close, a quivering breath escaping her lungs. It would be fine if she died right here, wouldn't it? No one would mourn her. No one was left.

The sound of wind rushing passed began to fade, pain following suit. She was beginning to think she really would die when a voice cut through the veil enveloping her mind.

" _You must live, Robin!"_

Her eyes flew open, a stream of warmth streaking down her frozen cheeks.

That's right. She had to go on. Her mom had told her to live. She was the only one left to remember Ohara!

Pushing herself up on shaky arms, she returned to her agonizing trip through the snowy plains, trying without success to hug warmth into her body.

Everything hurt. Everything was pointless. Everything was—

Forcing a broad smile to spread across her lips, the little girl let out a peculiar laugh, warm trickles of water dripping down her chin.

"Dereshishishi. Dereshishi—"

* * *

Robin jerked awake, a chill raking down her spine. She took a moment to collect herself, realizing she was in bed only after she'd grabbed her elbows in an attempt to warm herself.

Something about this seemed wrong. Hadn't she been in the Kitchen?

Blinking, she swiveled her gaze over the room—her and Nami's by the looks of it—pausing briefly at the first-aid kit sitting by her pillow. She was rather confused until she spotted the slumped form of a certain Doctor. He was snoring softly at her side, cheeks resting on his furry arms.

That's right. She'd passed out earlier, hadn't she? That must have given Luffy and Sanji quite the scare.

Lips tugging up somewhat, she moved on to the rest of the room, eyes drifting over Nami, who'd fallen asleep on the other side of the room, back to the wall and a book on her lap. Usopp laid sprawled across the floor at her feet, snoring loudly as his fingers twitched along the side of his slingshot.

No sign of the other three.

She tried to push herself upright, but a wave of nausea swept over her, making her hand fly to her mouth.

"Robin?"

Chopper peered up at her, eyes slowly widening in realization. Springing to his hoofs, he shoved the first-aid kit open. "You need to lay still Robin, you're very sick!"

She may have argued if she hadn't found his stern expression so adorable. Slowly, she lowered herself onto her pillow, offering a tight smile instead.

"My apologies. May I ask what I've come down with, Doctor?"

He perked up a bit at his title, mouth curling into a sheepish grin. "You've caught a strand of the flu, you bastard! Calling me Doctor won't make me go easy on you or anything, so don't even try it!" He said, beckoning for her to go on.

She gave a soft chuckle in response, one that quickly escalated into yet another bout of coughing.

"Ah, Robin! Here, take this!"

A round pill was placed in her palm, the small Doctor then retrieving a glass of water from the nightstand by her bed.

She took it without complaint, wincing slightly as it traveled down her throat, raw and brittle from all the coughing.

The flu, was it? That would explain why her stomach was churning rather uncomfortably.

A sniffle, "Robin..."

Blinking, she tipped her chin up to lock eyes with Chopper, who had deteriorated into a barely restrained sob.

"Why didn't you tell me you were feeling this sick? Do you not like me anymore? Am I a bad Doctor?"

Her heart clenched. "N-No, of course not!" She stammered despite herself, raising a hand to comfort him, freezing when she realized she didn't know how.

Consoling others wasn't something she'd done much of in the years spent running. She was in the process of fumbling for words of reassurance when the door came open.

Luffy was the first to enter, jaw dropping at the sight of her. He raced over, barely managing to skid to a halt at the side of her bed.

"Robin! Are you okay!?"

The urgency in his tone surprised her a bit, but she put on a winning smile, regardless. "Yes, Captain-san, that appears to be the case."

That didn't do much to alleviate the panic in his eyes. "I'm sorry, Robin! You should'a said something if you were that hungry, I would'a made sure Nami woke you up! Stupid Nami! This is all her fault!"

"She isn't hungry, she's sick dumbass." Sanji sighed as he joined them, a silver tray in his hands. On it, a metal teapot sat, alongside a cup with a lovely flower design along the top.

Once it was set safely atop her nightstand, he whirled around, giving Luffy a decent-sized bump upside the head with his heel. "And don't blame Nami-san!"

Luffy didn't bat an eyelash, gaze remaining trained on Robin. "Don't worry Robin, Sanji'll give you all the midnight snacks you want from now on, so just get better, okay!?"

Reaching into his pocket, the cook fished out a carton of cigarettes. As he placed one between his lips, Chopper shouted, "Don't smoke in here!"

He froze, flame inches from the tip. Then, with a sigh, he flicked his lighter off and shoved it into his coat. "I went ahead and brewed an herbal remedy while you were resting, Robin my love! I flavored it with honey almost as sweet as you are!"

Robin gave a breathy chuckle at the cook's antics. It never failed to amuse her how fast the boy could change moods.

"Honey?" Chopper perked up. "Yeah, that should help soothe her throat! Do you want some, Robin!?"

She nodded, and the cook began pouring her a cup.

Heaving a relieved breath, Chopper sat with his legs over the edge. "As long as you make sure to take your medicine every day, you should make a full recovery by the next island."

"I see. Thank you."

She took the cup, savoring the way the heat seeped through the mug, warming her fingers, in which a phantom frost still lingered. As the tea slid down her throat, the honey seemed to lather it, easing away the pain, even if only a little.

Sanji leaned against the nightstand, twirling his unlit cigarette, while Luffy plopped onto the floor crisscross, watching her with wide, expectant eyes.

She wasn't quite sure what they wanted from her, nor had she thought of a way to comfort Chopper. She kicked herself a bit for this, glaring into her reflection in the pale tea. She'd been trying not to bring them trouble, but in the end, it seems she'd only succeeded in causing them a great deal of worry.

She wanted to make it up to them. She didn't know how.

"Hey Robin,"

At her Captain's murmur, she turned. Though he was still staring at her, he had raised a finger, pointing at something passed her.

"What's that about?"

Blinking, she swiveled her head once more, locating a book laying on the other side of her pillow. The same one she'd been reading earlier.

Setting the cup down, she reached for it, nerves calming at the feel of leather against her fingertips. She may not be good with emotions or comforting others, but there were other ways of expressing herself, were there not?

"Would you, perhaps, like me to read it to you, Captain-san?"

Luffy gave a thoughtful hum, before tipping his head in a curt nod. "Okay. I probably won't like it, though."

Her lips quirked up, "Guess we'll see about that."

"Don't say that after she's going out of her way to read it for you!" Sanji snapped, causing her smile to broaden.

And when Chopper asked what it was about, voice light and curious, like that of a child receiving a bedtime story, she couldn't help the affection bubbling in her chest.

They fell silent as she read, gathering around in something akin to wonder. Even the two on the other side of the room had stirred, listening to the tale with tired eyes and barely muffled yawns.

It reminded her how young they all were. Though they acted mature, though they fought for their lives and had saved her in so many ways, they were still children. Stories of adventures, of knights in shining armor, of islands in the sky and cities of gold still captivated them, and she believed that was for the best.

In truth, she wanted to see the world the way they did, wanted to gaze out at the endless sea with shining eyes, eyes that sought out adventure.

But, she knew such a thing wouldn't happen in a month's time. Not after a lifetime spent dreading her next venture, spent fearing for her life rather than enjoying the journey—as, until recently, she'd had no one to enjoy it with.

She understood she couldn't change at the drop of the hat, understood she couldn't open her heart, couldn't rely on them without a care; not yet, not after everything she'd been through.

Listening to Luffy shout angrily at the villain, to the cook curse beneath his breath while the others gasped and leaned in, she knew, for now, this would suffice. She may not be ready for others to take care of her, may not be able to express her fondness through means not mundane, but that didn't mean it was impossible. Some things just took time.


	17. Freedom is the best gift to have

**A/N: this was originally gonna be part of the chapter I'm working on right now, but I ended up cutting it, so here's another drabble of sorts ;)**

* * *

When Sabo turned five, he'd had enough. A strange thing for a child of his age and class to say, but strange was something he'd always been. Where he lived, the children were spoiled brats. They'd wander around High Town with their pockets crammed full of candy and Berry, never having to want for anything, wanting everything anyways. Throwing tantrums when refused.

The adults weren't much better themselves. He couldn't count how many times he'd seen them have meltdowns over the silliest of things, such as a store not selling a dress in their favorite color.

He'd never understood. Never understood any of it. Not the superior attitudes, not the self-centeredness, nor the jeers against the lower classes. He didn't see how having wealth made them better, didn't see why his parents sneered at any sign of filth. This was where he'd been born, where he'd been raised, but even so, he couldn't shake the feeling something was irreversibly wrong.

He needed to learn, needed to see things with his own eyes and come to his own conclusions. That's the reason he ventured into the Gray Terminal that evening. An act of rebellion, maybe, but it hadn't been out of spite. Rather, it was curiosity that drove him, alongside a nagging sense of justice.

As he walked through a path strewn with garbage, it truly hit him how cushy life in High Town was. The smell of rotten fruit and spoiled meat burned all the way to the base of his throat, acrid enough to make his eyes sting with tears. All the while bandits clambered in the middle of the heaping piles of garbage, unaffected as they dug for who-knows-what.

He couldn't believe people lived this way. It was insane! There were plenty of houses in High Town! Why couldn't they just live there!?

When he suggested this to a group huddled around a firepit, they'd just laughed like that was the funniest joke they'd ever heard.

"Yeah, kid, we 'ear ya!"

"We'd love that, wouldn't we guys!?"

He hadn't understood what they'd meant, but stayed regardless, listening to the tales of washed up pirates and has-been thieves. They were a dangerous bunch, would probably kill him if he proved to be a nuisance, and yet, he found himself returning the next night. Then the night after that.

The more he hung out with them, the more he found the behavior in High Town deplorable. They were people without a scrap of kindness, slaves to their obsession with public appearances and wealth. There was no freedom in that place, and if he stuck around any longer, he'd be trapped in the same cage.

When his fifth birthday drew to an end, and the moon shone high in the sky, Sabo could be seen clambering out his bedroom window with nothing but the clothes on his back. In the Gray Terminal, getting by would be rough, but at least he'd have the one thing he wanted most. The only thing he wanted.

Freedom.


	18. Two Good-For-Nothings

**A/N: All right, I finally managed to finish! Honestly, kid Sabo is so hard to write, besides for his tendency to take Ace's threats way too seriously, he acts very level-headed and mature for his age, I guess it comes from having to take care of himself for so long... Anyways, I hope you all have a good day!**

* * *

Sabo collapsed beside a pile of heaping trash, struggling to pull the rotten air into his lungs. He couldn't take another step. Being chased through the woods by a pack of wild boar tended to do that to a person. Honestly, he was lucky sore legs, and a few bruised ribs were all he got. Should've known that net wouldn't hold.

Exhaling, he heaved his chest off the ground, ignoring the cry of protest his arms gave. He'd known life in the Gray Terminal would be rough, but he hadn't expected it to be _this_ bad. Not that he regretted coming here.

He shifted until he was sitting with his knees spread in front of him, wincing as his muscles gave a painful twinge. At this rate, he'd starve long before he managed to steal enough Berry to purchase a boat.

"Didja hear?" Came a gravelly voice. "Some kid took out every single member of that gang..."

Gang? Craning his neck, Sabo scanned the area for the speaker, eyes stopping at a wall of rubble.

"—a crazy lad who can even kill tigers!" The voice persisted.

Sabo started at that. Tigers!? No way! Shoving himself to his feet, he hurried to the pile, tripping as a bolt of pain shot up his calf, causing him to collapse into a pile of withered newspapers.

"He's got one nasty glare, I'll tell ya." Another remarked.

"I hear he's called Ace. People have seen 'im disappearing in and out of Mount Colubo lately. What a troublesome brat."

Groaning, he removed his face from the mud, falling onto his back instead. Probably would have just laid there if not for the newspapers that came along, plastered across the front of his jacket, soaked in who-knows-what.

Agh, gross!

After he'd managed to bat them off with a desperation he wasn't ashamed of, he tipped his head in the direction of the voices. Ace, huh?

His hand slid to his stomach, a growl sending vibrations through his fingers.

Sounded interesting.

A pause, then with the widest of grins, he readjusted his goggles.

That gave him an idea.

* * *

As it turned out, Ace wasn't a hard guy to find. Wherever he went, a storm always seemed to ensue, as though he was chaos itself. Sabo had been chasing after him for weeks, but he only ever caught the aftermath. Injured people, wrecked bars, very angry mobs that proceeded to chase him with sticks when asked about him. Sabo had never been a quitter, however.

Which was good, because, after four weeks of this, he finally managed to catch up.

The elusive Ace stood mere feet away, a string of bandages along his arms and cheeks, and one heck of a glare. Those people hadn't been kidding.

Regardless, Sabo smiled and offered his hand. "Hello, Ace, right?"

Ace's expression didn't waver, but his gaze slowly swept over the alleyway, over the people laying at his feet. "Who the hell are you?"

 _His latest victims,_ Sabo noted, hand retreating to his side.

"I'm Sabo! I've heard a lot about you, Ace."

"Yeah?" He snarled, "And?"

Sabo tipped his hat down, mouth curling upwards. "I have a proposition."

"Not interested."

A heartbeat passed, two, three, then Sabo burst out laughing. What a funny guy!

Meanwhile, Ace was giving him a scowl that read: 'did you take one too many blows to the head?', which only made him laugh harder. He found that look hilarious.

"The rumors were right, you _are_ interesting!"

Ace's surprise melted into another nasty glare. He opened his mouth, probably to insult him, but the piercing sound of a whistle made them both freeze.

"Crap." Ace cursed. Giving one of the thugs a final kick to the stomach, he turned and bounded away.

"Ah! Hey! Wait!" Sabo yelped, racing after him.

It was no use. By the time he'd slid around the corner, Ace was gone. To make matters worse, the police were already rushing into the alleyway, eyes widening at the sight of him.

"You! Stop right there!"

Sabo proceeded to do the opposite.

Later that afternoon, he collapsed by a pile of ferns, every breath a struggle.

That certainly hadn't gone as planned.

Rolling onto his belly, he made a poor attempt to stand.

 _Next time,_ He thought as his chest smacked into the ground once more. _Next time, he'll definitely hear me out!_

* * *

Another week passed before they met again. This time, it was in the forest. Hadn't been on purpose, either. Actually, Sabo hadn't even noticed Ace; too focused on the deer he was stalking. It had paused to graze, ear flicking as a fly buzzed passed. Didn't have a clue he was there at all.

The prospect of having a decent meal made his mouth water. No more rotten fruit and moldy bread. A nod. He could do this. He _had_ to!

As the deer took a step forward, Sabo's fingers tightened around his pipe. One swift blow to the head, and then he'll—

"You're doing that wrong."

The deer jerked its snout up, eyes darting in the direction the voice had come from. It must've seen something he hadn't, because it proceeded to dart into the undergrowth, body a blur of brown.

With a startled yelp, Sabo raced for the shivering bushes left behind. "Ah! Wait!" He was about to burst through them and chase the damn thing down, tackle it, beat it with his pipe—anything, so long as he could eat—but the forest began to spin. The leaves overhead seemed to jump at him, brambles and grass breathing, the dirt gaining a pulse, as though the entire world around him had come alive. He stumbled to the nearest object in a haze, pressing himself against it as he drew in the musky air.

A scoff came from above, "Don't you even know how to hunt?"

Blinking the dots out of his vision, he craned his neck, catching sight of Ace, who was glaring down at him from a tree branch.

Taking a moment to collect himself, he processed he was leaning against a giant root, the bark digging into his palms. Not a good second impression. Pushing off it, he stumbled a few paces closer.

"You scared my prey off."

Ace showed not a hint of remorse, "Who said you could hunt here in the first place?"

Sabo's fingers twitched. Sure, he'd decided to recruit Ace, but he wasn't going to just stand there and be pushed around! He'd already had his fill of that in High Town.

"Why don't you try and..." _make me leave then._

It took Sabo a minute to realize he hadn't said the last part aloud. Then another, to compute his body had collided with the ground, knees throbbing distantly, grass tickling his cheeks. Somewhere amongst the fog, a voice called out, loud and laced with panic. He must've been imagining it, though.

Who would worry about him? No one ever did that.

As his consciousness began to drift, he could've sworn he heard grass crunching beneath someone's shoes, but he didn't have much time to dwell on it before the world turned black.

* * *

When Sabo came to, it was to the sound of flames crackling. It was nostalgic. Reminded him of the nights he'd sneak into the Gray Terminal, huddling around piles of burning garbage as he listened to the tales of bandits and pirates.

The smell of rotten food and ale almost always mingled with that of the smoke, intense enough to have him coughing like his life depended on it. Elbows would bump him, mostly in the face given his size, sometimes leaving blotches of brown along his cheekbone or a lump beneath his curly hair, and yet, time and time again, he chose that place over the stuffy mansion in High Town.

Looking back on it now, it was kind of funny. He had everything those people would have killed for—sometimes _had_ killed for—but not once had it brought him happiness. Truly, Berry was such a useless thing to have. Couldn't even eat it.

His stomach gave a painful rumble at that.

Why couldn't anyone else see it for what it was?

"Would you shut up with that already!? I'm cooking, all right, just give me a damn minute!"

Sabo's eyes popped open. What?

"This whole damn time it's been nothin' but, growl, growl, growl—enough already! You're pissing me off!"

A bubbling sensation set in his chest, momentarily distracting him from his hunger. Before he could stop himself, he'd snorted.

"Well, I can't exactly help that, you know."

"Huh, you're awake now!? About da—wait, you better not be laughing at me!"

Curling into a ball, Sabo tried his best to hide his quivering shoulders. "'M.. not..." Despite that, a wheezy chuckle managed to slide out alongside his words. He tried to stifle it, failed, then burst into a fit of laughter.

For several moments, his voice was the only thing to fill the silence, then another laugh joined in, which only made his own escalate. If anyone could've seen them, they'd have thought them mad.

Nothing particularly funny had been said, and yet, he just _couldn't stop._ He couldn't recall a time he'd been this... whatever this was.

After a minute or so had passed, Sabo managed to calm a tinge, rolling onto his elbows and staring across the flames at Ace, who was sitting on a fallen branch.

The guy was a wreck if Sabo had ever seen one. To take it a step further, it looked like he'd picked a fight with a pile of brambles and lost. Twigs and leaves were poking out of his mop of dark hair, his clothing was torn in several places, and his skin was practically caked in dirt, along with several cuts trailing from his wrists to his elbows.

At the same time, however, there was a triumphant gleam about him, which probably stemmed from the deer carcass hanging over the fire.

"You managed to catch it?" Sabo asked, awe creeping into his tone. That deer had been pretty fast.

"'Course," Ace replied like he was offended by the mere suggestion he couldn't. "Hunting a deer like that is _easy."_

Judging from the condition he was in, it had been anything but. Sabo was tempted to point that out, though, out of gratitude, decided to refrain.

"'Sides, I'm not doin' this to help you, jus' didn't wanna fight someone who's half-dead." Ace's trademark glare returned, except, it was a tinge warmer. "After ya eat, I'm gonna kick your ass, jus' so ya know."

A smirk tugged at Sabo's lips, "That so? Think you can?"

Sabo wasn't surprised at all when Ace declared he did, a cocky grin spreading from ear to ear. They hadn't known each other long, spoken even less, yet he had a feeling what kind of guy Ace was.

A good-for-nothing, just like him. Unwanted, unloved, and a knack for causing trouble.

"I rarely back down from a challenge," Sabo said. "But, if I win, you have to listen to a proposition of mine."

"A 'proposition?'" Ace echoed, arms tucked over his chest.

The smirk increased its hold on his lips, spreading them across his cheeks. "That's right."

The fight ended up being a draw. Any coldness left in Ace's gaze had vanished afterwards, replaced by respect. Ace considered him an equal now.

Sabo couldn't help but puff his chest out proudly at the realization. He got the feeling the list of people Ace respected wasn't a long one.

Despite technically not winning, Ace prompted Sabo to tell him anyways, listening with an unreadable scowl that only deepened at the mention of escaping as pirates.

"You want me to be a 'pirate' with you?" He said the word pirate like it was unsanitary. "Hell no!"

Sabo recoiled, "Why not!?"

Ace jerked his head away, leaving Sabo with a nice view of his mangy hair. "Like I'd wanna. Screw pirates!"

Sabo glared at him, wondering if the guy was acting difficult on purpose, or whether there was actually some deep-seated reason for this.

Fine.

He'd really wanted Ace's help, but he couldn't force him into a life of crime.

"...Gold Roger," Ace growled, soft enough for Sabo to have almost missed it. "If he had a son, what would you think?"

Sabo blinked. That was a bit.. random, but if Ace was asking...

"I'm not sure," He admitted, remembering all the nasty rumors he'd heard about the Pirate King. "I guess it would depend on what kind of person he is."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean!?" Ace snapped, startling him.

Returning his wide-eyed gaze to Ace, he discovered the guy had jumped to his feet, teeth bared in a snarl that bordered feral. "Gold Roger was a complete bastard! Just being his kid is a sin in itself! Someone like that shouldn't exist!"

Sabo's pulse thrummed. Fighting to keep his anger in check, he lowered his head until the rim of his hat had hidden his expression from view.

"I'd never judge someone for who their parents are." Never.

Silence hung over the clearing. Occasionally, the sound of Ace drawing in a staggering breath would break it, but nothing else seemed able to, not even the animals.

"So,"

Sabo looked up. Ace had turned away completely, leaving only his tense shoulders visible.

What now?

"If I were to tell you I was Gold Roger's son, would you still think that?"

Sabo's jaw dropped. No way. No, that couldn't be possible! Gold Roger was executed over six years ago! About... how old Ace was.. No way... Of all the people he could've run into—!

"Well?" Ace's growl cut in. "You think I'm making it up!?"

Sabo jumped, "N-No, I believe you, all right. I'm just having a hard time wrapping my head around it, is all."

"And?"

He frowned, "And?"

Silence.

Oh. Oh, right.

"I don't hate you." He sighed, "You've already helped me out, so you don't seem like a bad person."

Ace jerked a little in what may have been a flinch. A heartbeat passed, two, three, then he sat in place, back still facing him. "That so?"

With a sigh, Sabo leaned against the cliff behind him. It seemed the worst of it was over, at least.

"What about you?" Ace asked. "You have parents, don't you?"

Or not.

"Um... me?" He let out a nervous chuckle. He didn't like telling people about his parents. Ace would probably accept him, but at the same time, he didn't want to think of them. No, if he pretended his life with them had never existed to begin with, it was easier.

"I'm an orphan from the Gray Terminal."

Not a complete lie. He _did_ consider himself an orphan. He may as well be. Yet, a wave of guilt crashed over him.

Ace pushed himself to his feet. Sabo watched as he walked to the treeline, pausing by a root tall as he was. "If you ever tell anyone about me, I'll _kill you,_ understand?"

Sabo flinched. He sounded serious.

Swallowing, he stammered, "G-Got it. I won't tell."

The rustling of leaves followed, and he assumed that was the end of it. Ace wasn't interested in helping. He'd have to figure something else out.

Needless to say, when Ace piped up again, he nearly gave Sabo a heart attack.

"A pirate." He said, hands shoving several loose branches out of his path. "Why do you want to be one?"

"Because," He answered, the same twist in his gut whenever a bird flew overhead, wings propelling it into the sky, farther and farther from the prison of Goa Kingdom. "Pirates are free."

If Ace had been listening, he gave no sign of it. Honestly, what was that guy thinking? Sabo couldn't get a read on him.

"...C'mon."

Sabo's head jerked up. "Huh?"

"We're gonna need Berry, aren't we?" Ace retorted like it was common sense. "Ships are expensive. If we head to town, though, we could probably find a couple hoodlums to rob."

Sabo stared, lips slowly tugging up until they'd spread wide enough to hurt. Shoving himself to his feet, he raced over to Ace, nearly tripping himself in his eagerness.

"Yeah," He said, trying with all his might to keep his voice steady, failing as it came out an excited squeak. "From here on out, we're business associates then!"

"Business what?"


	19. You could say the sun represents life

**A/N: I just had a thought, after sixth months locked away, Sanji must've been _really_ happy to see the outside world again, I know I would've been! This makes me hate Judge even more (esp after chap 852)**

 **Warning: spoilers if you haven't read chapters 840-841**

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It was warm. Sanji stood frozen in place, eyes trained on the ball of fire hovering overtop the murky waves. It was too bright, impossibly so, even made him tear up a bit (because he definitely wasn't crying), and yet, he couldn't break the stare. Last night had been a blur of fear, his father's—no, just Judge now—cruel words, the dirt, and trees shooting passed as he ran as fast as his legs could carry him, explosions ripping through the air, war-filled cries, terrified screams.

No sooner than he'd stepped aboard the Orbit, had he been ushered inside by a group of frantic adults, mistaken for a passenger's kid. He hadn't been complaining at the time, gladly allowing them to shove him towards safety.

He'd spent the night in the Dining Hall, small body tucked into the corner, beaten and exhausted. It wasn't until he was jarred awake by a particularly ferocious wave that he'd processed everything.

He was outside. It hurt, and his fath—no, Judge—had admitted he wanted him dead, but he was finally outside. He'd wasted no time shoving himself to his feet, nearly tripping in his desperate scramble for the deck. He'd slammed into the door, startling several people, not caring, practically leaping into the patches of sunlight flickering over the flooring, so brilliant, so bright, _so warm._

His skin glowed, pale from the months spent locked away, hair heating up until his scalp had been flooded with waves of heat that were sent crashing down his wet cheeks. The sky was bluer than he remembered, too blue, unrealistically blue, and the ocean, oh god the ocean...

Grabbing onto the railing, he hoisted himself up, bare feet dangling above the deck as he gazed into the waves sloshing against the sides of the ship. He grinned hard enough for it to hurt, more trickles of water dribbling down his chin (but it was just the sea spray, he still wasn't crying), the sound of wave overlapping wave dancing in his ears like a lullaby, soothing him in a way nothing else could.

This was real. He wasn't dreaming.

"Hey, kid, be careful over there," A guy chuckled, "If ya fall in, we're gonna have to jump in to save ya, ya know!"

Sanji lingered on the railing another moment before allowing his feet to hit the floor. Backing away, he examined the deck, now filled with passengers, some lounging, others mingling in groups. If he hadn't been there, he wouldn't have guessed they'd nearly gotten killed in the crossfire of a battle last night.

He wondered if that was common in the East Blue. Guess he'd find out sooner or later. After all, in a stroke of dumb luck, he'd ended up on a cruise ship. If he talked to the person in charge, he could probably convince them to let him work here, preferably as a chef.

At the thought, his chest warmed up, as though a piece of sunlight had wedged itself in there. He'd be able to see all kinds of amazing things, and maybe, just maybe, he'd find the All Blue, too!

He could sort that out later, though. For now, he wanted to enjoy the morning breeze a little longer.

Moving away from the edge, he sat by the mast, pressing his shoulder against it as he stared across the deck, at the dazzling rays of light overhead.

Yeah. Just a little longer.


	20. Stories are always a viable cure

**A/N: So, I was wondering what would happen if Sanji ever ended up trapped in a cell, and this mess kind of happened... Anyways, wow this is the twentieth chapter! To think someone with a low attention span like mine would actually make it this far! I've impressed myself (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧**

 **(Spoiler-ish if you haven't read chapters 840-841)**

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The first thing Sanji noticed was the ache in his arm. Given he'd landed right on said appendage, it didn't come as much of a shock. Wouldn't be surprised if the bone was fractured, or worse; his shoulder had been jammed in. A fracture he could manage—he was used to those—but cooking with a sprain or a jam would be a shit situation, that was for sure.

"What just... happened.. exactly?"

At Usopp's dazed question, Sanji pushed himself upright, sending a bolt of pain rocketing to his elbow. Gasping between clenched teeth, his hand immediately shot to his upper arm, which had deteriorated into a frenzy of heated throbs.

Shit. Might be worse than a fracture. Compound break? Shit.

"Can't.. Believe..." Usopp went on.

Drawing in a mouthful of damp air, he forced himself to take in his surroundings, ignoring the fuzzy sensation in his head. He decided to begin his inspection with the ceiling they'd fallen in from. It was made of some strange metal, the center curving in like a sphincter. If he had to guess, the damn thing opened and closed. Above it was probably that pipe they'd fallen through. It'd happened so fast, but he was certain it had been a pipe.

"Shit cook said go right," At a grunt from the damn Marimo, Sanji snapped his gaze to the side, where the dumbass himself sat with an arm slung over his knee. "So, I did."

"Oh, no, no, no, no," He snapped, palms raised between them. "Don't you even try to pin this on me! You went the exact _opposite_ of right, you algae for brains moron!"

"What was that!?" Zoro growled.

Like nails on a chalkboard, the grating hiss of Zoro's sword scraping its sheath filled the space. He lunged without another word, and Sanji met him square on, planting the sole of his shoe in the center of the blade, muscles straining as Zoro pressed forward in an attempt to break his block.

"Would you two knock it off!? This isn't the time for this!"

In sync, they snapped their heads around, probably to tell Usopp to keep out of it—that'd been what he'd wanted to say—but froze, slackjawed when they saw it.

Meanwhile, Usopp looked back and forth between them, eyes going round. After a moment of hesitation, he puffed out his chest, jabbing a thumb at himself.

"That's right, I, the Great Captain Usopp have comman—"

Completely forgetting their spat, Sanji rushed in the sniper's direction, Zoro at his heels. This elicited a shriek of pure terror from the poor guy, but he didn't have time to explain, damnit! This couldn't be happening!

He skidded to a halt in front of a wall of iron bars, fingers wrapping around them in a desperation he wasn't proud of.

"What the hell is this!?"

"A cell!?" Zoro exclaimed, lips drawn into an agitated snarl.

Whipping around so fast it made his vision blur, he tore his eyes up and down the room, searching for a door, a hole, a window—hell, _something,_ but instead, he was met with walls on every side, made from the same substance as the ceiling, by the looks of it.

Usopp stood off to the side, staring at the line of bars with ashen skin. "T-This is.." His chin snapped up, determination glazing over his initial fear. "O-Oi, you guys can bust through those, right!?"

Exchanging a nod with Zoro, Sanji threw all his weight into one good kick, while Zoro raised his sword. Their attacks connected with the bars in the same instant, and yet, didn't leave so much as a crack.

"Shit!" He cursed, staggering back a couple paces, while Zoro sheathed his sword with a contemplative frown.

"Seastone."

Sanji's heart skipped a beat, "Seastone!?"

"AHH! You can't be serious!" Usopp yelled, hands shooting to either side of his head.

"Shit!" Sanji cursed, bringing his foot around for another hapless barrage against the bars. His ankle collided, again and again, an icy chill rolling down his spine, fighting away the nauseating warmth shock had brought along with it.

He didn't care. Couldn't care. Nothing mattered, not the thrumming in his arm, not the pain in his ankle, nor the voices of his crewmates. All he knew was that he had to get out of there! He had to!

The room felt tight around him, too small, too, too—

He couldn't—

He—

He couldn't—

A hand latched onto his shoulder, jarring him back to reality.

"That's enough."

He flinched against the sudden contact, foot freezing inches from the bars. Turning his head, he locked eyes with Zoro, who was staring him down with a sternness he didn't appreciate one damn bit. Sanji, likewise, glowered at him, ripping his shoulder away without a shred of concern for the fresh waves of pain this sent tearing down his arm.

Gritting his teeth, he growled, "Don't order me around damnit."

"I'm telling you to stop because it should be obvious that shit won't work." Zoro retorted, voice cold as the seastone surrounding them.

Usopp looked back and forth between them, skin even paler than before. "H-Hey, guys, come on, don't worry about it, Luffy and the others are still out there exploring, right? They'll notice we're gone! Yeah, without a doubt they're searching for the great Captain Usopp as we speak! We just have to wait for them to find us, er, I mean, me!"

While Usopp went on and on about Luffy and the others, Sanji continued to glare at Zoro, barely registering a word of it.

"You got some nerve acting all high and mighty now Marimo," He snarled, struggling to keep his breathing steady, failing. "If it weren't for you, we wouldn't even be in this mess."

"My fault!?" Zoro's eyes widened a fraction before narrowing into a glower twice as fierce. "How the hell is this my fault!? Huh!?"

"C-C'mon, you guys.. calm down! Getting mad at each other isn't gonna solve anything..." Usopp choked out, lips pulled into a forced grin. When their gazes flickered to him instead, he recoiled with a startled squeak. "S-Scary!"

"'How is this your fault!?'" Sanji echoed, careful to make his tone as dry as possible. "Do you seriously even need to ask that!? You're even dumber than I thought you were!"

"Say that again shit cook," Zoro said, not a question; a threat, a dare to repeat himself.

He knew he should end it there, knew fighting was pointless, but then again, he'd never been the type to back down. "If it weren't for you, we wouldn't even _be_ down here right now!"

His last words hung over them, so heavy he wouldn't have been surprised if they'd come crashing back down.

He half-expected Zoro to charge him with a drawn blade, or at least a raised fist, but instead, the swordsman stared him down, jaw clenched, eyes flinty. At that, Sanji realized he'd said more than he should've.

Guess the dumbass _did_ blame himself for all this, didn't he? He hadn't actually meant any of that. Now he felt bad. Not that he'd admit it.

Scoffing, he marched passed Zoro, pressing against the wall's icy surface and lighting a cigarette. For several heartbeats, the scratching sound his lighter made and the sparks produced were the only things to fill the space. Then, Usopp sauntered over, plopping into the corner opposite of him.

"This is just like the cell from Alabasta..." He mumbled.

Sanji could tell the friendliness in his tone was forced—merely an attempt at lightening the mood.

Clucking his tongue, Zoro finally made a move, and by move, he meant the Marimo plopped onto the floor where he'd been standing, leaning against the bars and closing his eyes. Did he plan on sleeping until Luffy and the others found them? Heh, that actually didn't sound like a bad idea.

Maybe he should try it.

Then again, looking down at his hands, shaking so bad he still hadn't managed to light his cigarette, he knew the blissful unawareness he craved wouldn't come.

Only nightmares.

Just his luck. Of all the places they could've wound up, it just had to be a cell. Worse, it had to be a cell he couldn't _get out of._

Another spark, then the smell of tobacco drifted to his nose, familiar, soothing. Slumping in relief, he practically inhaled the damn thing. Took his time exhaling, body relaxing more and more with every second the smoke passed through his lips.

He needed to calm down. To think. As far as he could tell, there really was no way out. It wasn't just him panicking, there was no door, the walls and floor were impossible to break, and from their explorations of the abandoned ship thus far, he could conclude no one else was around. It was like Usopp had said, their only option was to wait for Luffy and the others to notice they were gone. But, how long would that take? Earlier, they'd split into groups of three to cover more ground, so the likelihood of them showing up anytime soon was low.

What if they never—

With the shake of the head, he abruptly cut that thought off.

No, that was ridiculous! They'd find them. He wouldn't be stuck here, slowly rotting away until he was but a pile of bones.

Head slumping, he ran his fingers through his hair, the rough strands comforting against his skin. It was fine. It wasn't.

Shit. Shit, he'd messed up _(like always)_.

He'd yelled at Zoro, scared Usopp, made a complete jackass out of himself, and worst of all, he'd caused this. He knew how that moron was, he should've kept a better eye on him to start with. This was his fault, not the Marimo's.

Could've done a better job at dissuading Luffy from exploring 'the mystery ship' too. Maybe if he'd kicked him a few more times...

A sigh scraped the sides of his throat.

To make matters worse, he'd promised his sweet Nami he'd make sure his side of things went off without a hitch. He hadn't meant for this to happen _(did you ever?)_.

 _(Failure)_

His stomach churned. Moving his cigarette away, he buried his face in his knees, free hand still tangled in his bangs. The more he let his mind wander, the more he found himself waiting for the familiar creak of a door, for the sick laughter to start, for the onslaught of feet, or worse, bats to begin. As if he didn't feel nauseous enough already.

"Did I ever tell you guys the story of how I, the Great Captain Usopp, once bravely rescued a kid from the depths of a caved-in tunnel?"

Sanji tilted his head just enough to catch a glimpse of Usopp over his arm. "No, I don't think you have." Which was surprising, to say the least. Usopp bragged about everything, including things that hadn't actually happened. The thought of him having done something heroic and not given them over twenty renditions of it, the next more exaggerated than the last, was hard to wrap his mind around.

"Well, it all began one hot summer afternoon. Me and a few of the Usopp Pirates were running around the woods outside our village," He said, tucking his arms over his chest and lowering his chin, as though to appear cool.

"By 'Usopp pirates' do you mean those kids you're always talking about?"

Usopp's facade crumbled, eyes snapping up, wide, panicked. "Y-Yeah, but don't get me wrong, they're just a few of my loyal followers! I have way more! Ten thousand of them!"

"Riiiight." Sanji drawled, shifting to take a much-needed drag of his cigarette.

"Anyways," Usopp cleared his throat. "We were searching for a Hercules beetles, for, ah... fighting purposes, when Tamanegi wandered off. He does that a lot, so no one really thought much of it at the time, we just kept on with the search!"

While Usopp went on to supply numerous details that had nothing to do with saving his friend, Sanji shifted his injured arm, laying it across his lap rather than buried in his hair. The whole story had been ridiculous thus far, but he found himself listening regardless, clinging to every faulty description, every dramatic lie. It was a good distraction.

"And that's when I heard the cries! They were muffled by the rocks, but there was no mistaking it, that voice was none other than Tamanegi! Later, he'd tell me he thought he'd seen a Hercules beetle crawl inside the tiny cavern, but at the time, there was only one thing on my mind!" A dramatic pause. "...Getting him out of there!"

Sanji wondered what part he should comment on. The fact a kid actually thought some beetle was worth crawling inside a tunnel for or the fact Usopp supposedly had been able to not only hear, but also recognize his voice through a layer of rock and dirt.

"You see, the thing about my fri— _follower—"_ He amended not so smoothly, "Is that he's terrified of small spaces. Even being locked inside a bathroom could send him spiraling into full-blown panic! That's why we knew right away the situation was serious!"

Wait. That last bit sounded familiar.

"Why would a claustrophobic kid willingly crawl inside a tunnel?" He asked with a bit of bite.

The room went silent, besides for Zoro's snoring.

"A-Anyways, I had the other two get help while I stayed with him! I told him to take deep breaths, like this!" Usopp proceeded to do a poor imitation that seemed more like something a woman in labor would be instructed to do. "A-And, to try and not think about it, and—"

"Usopp."

"Y-Yes?"

"You got something you wanna say?"

Usopp stiffened, lips twitching in what must've been an attempt at a smile. "I-I already told you, this is the story of—"

"I'm not afraid of closed spaces, damnit."

"I wasn't—"

"Yes, you were." He replied, not bothering to hide the irritation rolling off him in waves. Flicking his cigarette into the shadows, he immediately reached for a new one.

Usopp continued muttering at the speed of light, while Zoro chose that moment to stir.

"Yeah," He snorted, awake for not even a full minute and already irritating. "That's why you've been all sweaty and weird since we fell down here."

Sanji considered pinning the blame on his injured arm but decided against it at the prospect of sounding weak. Like he owed that dumbass an explanation anyways.

"That's from being stuck with you for so long," He retorted, "It's bad for my health."

A pause, then Zoro yawned. "Whatever you say, cook."

Somehow, that pissed him off more than any comeback could've.

"S-So," Usopp interceded with a shaky smile, "Anyways, it wasn't a complete lie... I may have just tweaked a few aspects.. of it..."

"Oh, really?" Sanji droned.

Usopp seemed to take that as a 'please carry on.' "Yeah, Tamanegi wasn't actually scared of small spaces at the time, though he definitely was _afterward._ Kinda traumatized the kid." He finished with a weak laugh.

"Yeah, well, kids are impressionable." Sanji replied without thinking, "Only takes one thing to mess them up for life."

When he glanced up from the lighter, he realized Usopp was watching him with expectant eyes. Oh, hell no. He was not having this conversation right now.

"Usopp," He ground out, "I'm not scared."

"I-I didn't say you were, but you do seem pretty freaked out. And angry. And scary." The last part came out a squeak.

Sanji considered. Did he really look that bad? If so, he should probably give a reason for his reaction, if only to calm Usopp down.

"I don't like being trapped." He said, clipped, simple.

Usopp was a lot braver than he gave the guy credit for because he actually met his gaze and stammered, "W-Well, why not?"

Shit. "Ya know," He said, waving his hand dismissively, "Can't get out."

Usopp's concern ebbed into an unimpressed stare. Sanji suddenly found a scuff on his left shoe incredibly fascinating.

Guess Usopp gave up because he visibly slouched against the wall, a sigh escaping. Then, after several heartbeats of nothing, he cleared his throat again.

"So, have I ever told you guys of the time I battled a dragon in order to save a beautiful princess from my village?"

"No. Don't think you have," Sanji answered. Didn't seem like he was fishing for a reaction anymore.

As though to prove him right, Usopp hopped to his feet, arms raised to stress the size of the dragon. "Lemme tell you guys, the thing was gigantic! It moved into her mansion shortly after her parents passed away—"

He went on to describe the thing, saying it wouldn't let the princess go outside, rarely even allowed her a full meal. Usopp, apparently, battled the dragon with stories or whatever. Sanji didn't get how that would work, but at the toothy smirk that spread across Zoro's face at the words, he figured it must've been some sort of insider between the two. Or something.

Wasn't much longer before they heard their Captain's loud voice drawing nearer, and they, in turn, wasted no time making as much noise as they could, trying to gain his attention. It worked, but that didn't make him any less of an idiot, as he stopped in front of the bars, a finger shoved up his nose.

"Hey, what're you guys doing in there?"

"We're not in here because we want to be!" Sanji snapped without missing a beat. If he could've kicked through these bars, he would've sent the dumbass flying!

"We'll explain later, Luffy, for now, just get the key!" Usopp urged, with a not so discreet glance at Sanji.

Luffy continued to pick his nose for several beats, then his gaze drifted to Sanji, lingering. After another second of this, recognition flittered into his expression, and his eyes went wide.

"Oh, crap! I forgot! I'll be right back!" He yelled, jerking his hand away as he whirled on his heel.

Forgot!? Forgot what!? He better not be leaving them down here! He grabbed onto the bars in an iron grip, ready to yell just that, but Usopp beat him to it.

"Just hurry!" He shouted without an ounce of worry; just impatience.

Zoro didn't seem bothered either, instead, watching Luffy dash out of the room with a bored look. "Well, that settles that."

"What's settled!? That moron left us here!"

"He'll be back."

Usopp nodded, "Yeah, he's definitely looking for the keys as we speak."

Frowning, Sanji released the bars. "How do you know that?"

Usopp looked at Zoro, some unspoken knowledge passing between them.

"Just do." Zoro answered in a 'this conversation is over' kind of way.

"Okay, what the hell? Am I missing something!?"

"No, of course not!" Usopp slung an arm over his shoulders, voice taking on a higher pitch that screamed the exact opposite. "This is Luffy we're talking about! He knows when to be serious!"

"I guess." He answered automatically. Then, he realized the subject was changing. "Okay, but, hold on, you expect me to belie—"

Usopp tugged him closer, pointing at the door Luffy had practically busted down in his mad rush out it. "Oh, hey, I think I hear him coming!"

"Usopp," Sanji growled, a clear threat in his tone. This time, Usopp either didn't notice or didn't care.

"Don't get your panties in a bunch cook."

"I—" He kind of was, he realized, and the last part came out weak. "—am not..."

Zoro didn't bother replying, instead, tilting his chin up with a grin.

On cue, Luffy burst through the doorway, a key ring held over his head. "I found it! Hold on, Sanji; I'm coming!"

"AH! Quick Luffy, unlock the cell!"

"Luffy!?"

"Took you long enough."

Luffy had the door open in record time, and Sanji, too, set a new record for getting the _hell out of there._ He didn't slow down until he was in the hallway, leaning against the wall to catch his breath. Took the others a few minutes, but they turned the corner, Usopp animatedly explaining how they'd ended up there to Luffy, and Zoro practically falling asleep on his feet.

When Luffy noticed him, he scampered over, a wider than life grin spreading from cheek to cheek. "Hey Sanji, I'm hungry!"

"'Hungry?'" He repeated, all other thoughts fading as he did a mental recount of what they had in the pantry. "I guess I could whip something up. A sirloin, maybe? Yeah, with a side of potatoes..." He continued his rambling all the way to the Sunny, stopping only when he had the necessary ingredients spread in front of him.

If he gave Luffy the best slice of meat, no one commented on it. Nor did they comment on Usopp receiving desert alongside the ladies, or the side of onigiri that ended up on Zoro's plate. That was about as good of an apology as they were going to get from him.

He couldn't say for sure whether they realized what he was doing, after all, they were dense morons, but if the three grinned a little wider as they ate their respective meals, he wasn't going to point it out.

Sadly, however, the questionless bliss was soon broken. Slamming his fork onto the table, Chopper bolted upright, eyes going wide in a mixture of outrage and shock. "AHH! Sanji, what happened to your arm!"

Darnit.


	21. Water is like oxygen except it's not

**A/N: writing this, I have discovered Luffy's character is a delicate balance between genius and idiot, and I love it.**

* * *

Drowning was terrifying. Luffy wasn't an easy guy to scare—not after he'd realized there wasn't much _to_ be afraid of. Most of the things he'd found scary as a kid just didn't bother him anymore. Honestly, they annoyed him more than anything; like the mountain bandits or that stupid sea king.

He was strong, there wasn't any real reason to panic. He could kick anyone's ass, any time, any day, no problem.

And yet, whenever the ocean's icy claws dug into him, yanking his strength away, dragging him under, he couldn't deny the kernel of primal terror that festered. He'd watch helplessly as the surface grew farther and farther, hands feebly reaching for it, lungs aching and burning. All the while, bubbles would dance passed, carrying whatever breath he had left to the surface with such little effort.

It served as a reminder of sorts. That, despite all of his training and hard work, he could die here, weaker than a bubble.

Swaddled in the icy depths, he was cut off from the rest of the world. Alone. Helpless. Yet, he never let his mind wander far. Never got the chance to.

Because the surface would always break without fail.

A hand would clasp his own, the same one that had been so useless moments ago, lifting him from the darkness of the ocean floor to the place where he could fight, to the place where he was strong. He'd gasp for breath, take any and all bumps to the head with a grin, because he knew, without them, he'd never escape that lonely place.

They pulled him into the light, again and again, they _were_ his light. His everything.

One day, Usopp would ask how he does it. How he can rocket around the ship so carelessly after falling in time and time again. Would ask how he hadn't learned his lesson with a fond but tired sigh.

The rest of his crew would pause, if only for an instant, every bit as curious as the sniper. Luffy wouldn't mind. He'd grin from ear to ear, peering over his shoulder from where he sat on the bow.

"Water is scary and drowning sucks," He'd admit, "But you guys will always save me, so it's fine."

It wasn't a question, nor was it an order. Just a fact, plain and simple. The sky was blue, meat was delicious, and his friends would never let him drown.

"Of course we will!" Usopp would declare, cheeks taking on a brighter tint.

Chopper would dance, voice rising in a sincere squeak. "We'd never let you drown, you stupid bastard!"

"Oi, you can't swim either, you know!"

The rest would look on with sated grins, like, they couldn't have asked for anything better, and he'd turn away, resting his eyes on the endless expansion of sea ahead. Drowning was terrifying, and he hated feeling weak, but he'd be okay.

Because, he knew, no matter what, his friends would always be there to pull him back.


	22. A dreamer

Usopp lingered after the funeral. Around him, he had a vague sense of people trickling out, some wiping tears, others grieving behind blank masks, but he didn't follow. His eyes remained glued to the grave, to the name carved onto it.

' _Banchina'_

No matter how many times he read it, his mind didn't seem able to compute. Banchina. Banchina had been buried here. Beneath all this dirt, his mom lay in a coffin, far from his reach. Her smile, her warmth, her patient laughs—just like that, they were gone. This should've been obvious. He should've realized days ago, no, should've known the instant the color had drained from her skin, and yet, the true weight of it didn't hit him until now.

She wouldn't be waiting for him at home. She wouldn't be there to greet him when he rushed inside, wouldn't be there to bandage his cuts and bruises, to sing him to sleep or ask about his day. When he got home, he'd find it empty.

Warm tears rolled down his cheeks, and with a frustrated hiss, he moved to wipe them on his forearms. He knew he shouldn't think about it, knew it was pointless and would only hurt, but _he couldn't stop._ The image of his home, lights out despite the darkening sky, Kitchen devoid of the familiar clinking of silverware and laughter burned inside his mind.

He was all alone.

A quivering sob rose to his throat, but he quickly snuffed it out. No! No, that wasn't true! He wasn't alone, his dad was gonna return soon!

' _Don't be foolish Usopp, your dad will never come back.'_ His mom's words rung in his ears. He shook them away.

He'd be back! He would!

Shaking hard enough for his kneecaps to knock together, he lifted his gaze from the grave, moving it to the ocean instead. The coast remained clear, not a ship in sight. That didn't mean a thing!

So, he'd missed her funeral—he probably just didn't know! After all, he's busy being a pirate somewhere! Though he must be swamped right now, eventually, he'd _have_ to be in the area, then surely he'd stop by! Yeah!

Nodding along, he sucked in a breath to steady himself.

' _But,'_ Her voice carried on anyways, making the air freeze in his lungs. ' _I am proud of him and glad that I married him. I believe one day you will become as strong as him.'_

The tears returned with a vengeance.

He didn't remember much about his old man, but from the stories his mom had told him, he was an incredible sniper. Could shoot an apple through the core from over two miles away.

Usopp didn't have much to work with, only a slingshot and a ton of rocks, but he could make do with what he had. By the time his old man returned, he'd be a master marksman in his own right! It would be hard, but he could do it!

He staggered away from her grave, the world a blur of green and gray. He'd start practicing right now! He wouldn't let her down!

He spent the rest of the night outside, relentlessly targeting a sloppy bullseye he'd nailed to a pile of logs. When the sun rose, turning the sea a brilliant gold, he finally relented, waiting by the edge of the cliff with his knees tucked against his chest. His dad didn't come.

He repeated this the next day. Then the day after that. He only went home when necessary and never stayed for long. Too quiet. Not that the rest of the village was any better. This place was dull. No one talked to him, no one played, no one ever did anything exciting. All the while, the beach remained empty.

Guess he'd just have to liven things up a little! Steeling his nerves in place, he drew in a lungful of air, and—

"PIRATES ARE COMING!"

It started as an impulse but quickly evolved into a routine. They'd yell at him, chase him, sometimes throw things, yet in those moments, he didn't feel as lonely anymore. Even if it was negative, they were paying attention to him, acknowledging him. That was more than he could ask for.

Then, he met Tamanegi, Piiman, and Ninjin. Then Kaya.

When he was with them, the emptiness would ebb, if only just a bit. They had their own lives, though. Their own families. He understood.

The time they spent together was fun and all, but before long, he'd find himself alone again. He'd laugh it off. Couldn't expect them to hang out forever, right?

During those hours of isolation, he would practice with his slingshot or check the coast. He stopped by at least five times a day, just to be thorough, but nothing changed, and when a ship did pay his dull island a visit, it wasn't his dad's.

Instead, it would consist of three people, two scary guys, and an even scarier girl. They'd welcome themselves into his boring life, shake things up in a way he hadn't thought possible, lend a helping hand where he'd never imagined one would be.

It was terrifying, dangerous, painful, but at the same time—exciting.

He hadn't thought for a second such amazing people would want him aboard. At first, he'd been delighted, then, he'd felt like he was holding them back. They were so strong. Compared to them he was just...

A month or two after joining, their newest addition would question how he could patch things up so well despite having never been taught. He'd explain it came from trial and error, a kid on his own trying to keep the world from falling apart around him.

The cyborg, embarrassingly enough, would start strumming on a guitar, dedicating a song to 'a tragic childhood of loneliness' through his tears. Usopp would promptly tell him off. He didn't need any damn pity.

"Besides," He'd relent at Franky's stunned gaze. "It's not like I'm alone anymore, anyways. I've got Luffy and the others."

It should've been obvious, and in hindsight, it kind of was, but it wasn't until that moment the weight of it truly hit him. As though a haze had been lifted, the voices of his crewmates washed over him. Luffy's laughter from above deck, loud, bright. Nami's yells; probably at said Captain. The crashes from Sanji and Zoro's fighting, Chopper's frantic shouts for them to stop, Robin's not-so-reassuring remarks about what could go wrong if they didn't.

He couldn't say when, but somewhere along the line, this had become so familiar to him. Not the 'I've seen this a million times' type of familiarity, but the same kind dinner with his mom used to stir.

Again, her words echoed in his ears, ' _You're dad will never come back,'_

He finally understood what she'd meant. Of course, his dad would never set foot in Syrup Village again. There was no need because he already was home. Had been this entire time. The endless sea, the blood rushing adventures, the crew he trusted with his life—that was where he belonged. Not on some dull island in the East Blue.

Swallowing down the lump rising in his throat, he ignored Franky's loud wailing and proclamations of love for them.

After Water Seven, after everything that had happened—the fight, the apology, the celebration; he should have realized. He wasn't a burden, he wasn't unwanted, and most importantly, he wasn't alone anymore. Not by a longshot.

"You guys are amazing!" Franky cried, dabbing the corners of his eyes with a handkerchief. Usopp did not want to know where'd he'd been keeping that. "I love you guys!"

Usopp still wasn't sure if he deserved to be lumped in with them, still wasn't sure if he was even half as incredible as they were but... "Yeah." He breathed out. "We are pretty amazing, aren't we?"

And for once, he might just believe it.

* * *

 **A/N: Yeah, so I was thinking about Usopp and how his childhood must've been and ended up with this... whatever this is. Anyways I've been writing a lot of angsty stuff lately, so I think I'm gonna write smth funny for next chapter**


	23. Detective Straw Hat

Lightning crackled overhead, branching off into a series of paper thin cracks across the midnight sky. The Galley flashed a sickly shade of white, causing the shadows to grow all the darker.

Between the roaring thunder and the waves sloshing against the side of the Merry, it was no surprise the footsteps were drowned out.

Uneven as they were loud, they slowly made their way to the counter, where a brief pause was made, followed by the sound of shattering glass.

The steps resurfaced, stumbling in the darkness until they ended at the fridge. The light inside blinked on as the door opened, filling the void with a yellow tint that reflected off the person's skin.

"—is it—"

Another wave slammed into the ship, drowning out the rest of their words. A series of crashes would soon follow, items hitting the floor, cups shattering, then the footsteps would retreat, disappearing into the stormy night.

* * *

Robin tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, holding it in place as a breeze rippled through the Merry's sails. It swept across the deck, ruffling her bangs despite her efforts, and sending the pages of her book into a frenzy. With a tired sigh, she closed her book with a thud, instead, swiveling her gaze to her Captain, who lay sprawled across the deck by her feet.

"So bored!" He groaned, for the seventh time since joining her.

From what she'd gathered from his cries, Usopp and Chopper wouldn't play with him today. Chopper, occupied with a medical textbook they'd purchased at the last port, and Usopp, upgrading Nami's Clima-Tact. She hadn't been with the crew long, but she knew Luffy's boredom often resulted in trouble.

Scanning the deck, she hoped any of the remaining members could do the honors of entertaining the boy. It wasn't hard to discern the out of place green, though the man it belonged to was currently snoring against the mast, as he had been all morning. Nami had slipped away to shower a minute or two ago, and there still hadn't been a sign of the cook. Perhaps he was hungover and ended up sleeping late? They had gotten a bit carried away last night.

Regardless, at the moment, there was no one available. Besides for herself, that is.

Swallowing the lump rising in her throat, she tried to think of something she could do to amuse him. Play with him, maybe? But, what would they play?

She didn't have much time to mull it over before Luffy turned his watery eyes on her. "Robiiin..."

Her heart clenched at the–what she identified as–loneliness in his voice. Even though she was right beside him, she couldn't do anything for her Captain. She was powerless. Utterly–

"Hey, Robin, what're you reading?"

Blinking, she turned to her book. Ah, maybe there was something she could do for him after all. Lips tipping upwards, she showed him the cover. "I am reading The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, by Arthur Conan Doyle."

Luffy sat up, pulling his legs crisscross and grabbing onto his ankles. "What's that about?"

"It follows the journeys of a genius Detective, Sherlock Holmes, and his partner John Watson as they solve crimes in a mythical city known as London."

Luffy hummed his acknowledgment. "'Detective'? Is that like a marine?"

She considered. "A bit."

Luffy pointedly looked away, tucking his arms over his chest like a stubborn child. "Then I'm not interested!"

"You should give it a try before you say that, Captain-san," Robin said, smile unwavering. "Would you like for me to read it to you?"

He was silent for a beat. "Okay," He relented. "But I'm probably gonna hate it."

Robin chuckled, "I guess we'll find out."

An hour later, Luffy was still listening intently. They'd finished nearly half the book and may have proceeded to do so, if not for Sanji's scream.

" _LUUUUFFY!"_

Luffy craned his neck to the Kitchen, where the cook had practically kicked the door off its hinges. When he saw him, his furious glare sharpened.

Frowning, Robin set the book on the railing beside her.

"You bastard! What the hell is wrong with you!?"

Luffy gave an owlish blink, "Huh?"

"Don't you dare play dumb!" Rather than taking the stairs, Sanji vaulted over the railing, easily landing and taking a fistful of their Captain's vest. "Look, I get that you're a total moron with no grasp of how vital food storage is, but did you have to wreck my entire Kitchen in the process!?"

Luffy's mouth curved into a puzzled frown, "Kitchen?"

"Yeah. That's right." Sanji growled, low, dangerous.

A pause, "Are you stupid?"

"No, I'm not!" Like that, his temper snapped, and the cook brought his heel around, smashing it into Luffy's head and sending him flying into the mast, coincidentally, right where Zoro had been laying.

As the startled cursing began, Robin smirked into her palm. A coincidence. She didn't quite believe that.

"Cook-san, is there perhaps a problem?"

He spun at an astounding rate to face her, mood turning just as fast. "Ah, it's nothing, my love! Our moron of a captain just happened to make a mess of my Kitchen again is all!"

"Huh!?" Luffy protested as Zoro shoved him away, palm flat on his face. "I did not!"

"What the hell Luffy!?" The swordsman demanded while Sanji's visible eye twitched, and his fiery rage seemed to ice over, though not in a good way.

"Don't you deny it, you bastard. You're the only moron dumb enough to do something like that."

"But I didn't!"

At this, the cook strolled closer, crouching until they were at eye level. "Luffy. Did you, or did you not raid my Kitchen?"

Luffy didn't bat an eyelash. "No! I already told you that, sheesh!"

"Huh." Sanji stood up, brow raised as though he was reconsidering his entire view of the world. Perhaps he was. "You really didn't do it."

"That's what I've been saying!"

"But, if it wasn't you, then who the hell's the culprit!?" He demanded, more to himself than anyone.

"Nevermind that," Zoro snapped, throwing Luffy off and drawing his swords. "I'm gonna cut you up, you swirly-browed bastard!"

"What was that!?"

As the sounds of shouting and swords swinging filled the air, Luffy sat up, eyes wide in that blank way of his, where she could never tell what he was thinking.

"That's it." He said after a minute had gone by, "I've got it!"

Robin tilted her head, "Yes, Captain-san?"

Hopping to his feet, he planted his hat on his head, signifying he'd truly made up his mind about whatever it was.

"I'll find whoever messed with Sanji's Kitchen! That way, he won't be mad anymore, and I won't be bored!"

Huh. The logic behind that was certainly sound, though simple.

"It'll be just like that cool detective guy!

Robin could feel another laugh bubbling up. "In that case, would you like for me to be Watson?"

Luffy lit up at that, yet proceeded to smother the flicker of emotion with an exaggerated scowl. Was he trying to act like Sherlock as well? From what she'd gathered thus far, he certainly did enjoy impersonating others, even if only for jokes.

"Yes," He said, tone comedically serious. "That would be great, Detective Robin."

"I bet it was you, wasn't it, mosshead!?" Sanji's annoyed yell cut through, drawing their attention. He'd stopped trying to kick Zoro, instead, waving an unlit cigarette at him. "You're the only other moron I can think of who'd do something like that!"

Luffy's curious stare hardened and he marched over. Robin took that as her cue and followed, tucking her arms behind her back. Well, this was getting interesting.

"Hold it. That's enough you two."

At the commanding tone, they paused, turning to him with round eyes. Luffy stopped just short of three steps, scanning Zoro from head to toe with a thoughtful hum.

Sanji blinked, once, twice, "Uh, Luffy, what the hell—?"

"NOT GUILTY!" He burst out, causing both of them to jump.

Robin chuckled.

As the shock faded, Zoro nodded and crossed his arms. "Damn right I'm not."

"Why do you say that, Captain-san?" Robin prompted. She was, despite herself, quite curious.

Luffy gave another hum. "Just seems like it."

"You have to have a reason, dumbass!" The cook yelled, the cigarette he'd been holding disappearing into his tight-knuckled fist.

She wondered how long it would take him to notice.

Luffy gave a short, grunt of a laugh, lowering his head until his expression was hidden beneath his hat, "A reason? I have one, all right."

Sanji scowled, clearly off put by their Captain's change in attitude. "Well? What is it? I'm listening."

Zoro seemed curious as well, though he hid it behind a scowl.

"It's not Zoro, cuz' I already know who the culprit is." He paused, and Robin got the feeling it was for dramatic effect. Then, Luffy's head snapped up, and he jabbed a finger at Sanji. "IT WAS YOU WHO WRECKED THE PLACE, WASN'T IT, SANJI!?"

His words carried volume if nothing else, bouncing off the mast and traveling well into the ocean. She wouldn't have been surprised if a ship over two miles away had heard. Zoro, despite having been standing still, nearly toppled over, a choked sound escaping his throat. That was a first. Leave it to her captain to pull such a reaction out of the swordsman, and, herself for the matter, as her mouth had fallen open, arms limp at her side.

He truly was unpredictable.

Meanwhile, Sanji stared at his feet. He was ominously still, and against all logic, even she questioned if the accusation had rung true. He had been missing this morning.

"Luffy," He spoke up, voice soft, nearly a whisper.

Luffy perked up at that, confident smile radiant as it had always been.

"Why in the hell would I destroy my own Kitchen?"

Luffy was unfazed. "Because no one would expect it."

Well, that wasn't wrong.

"That is true," Sanji agreed, with a calmness she hadn't expected. He lifted his hand, finally seeming to notice the crumpled cigarette in his palm, and tossed it over the railing, brushing the tobacco off and retrieving another. Once it was lit, he released a puff of smoke, the stiffness she'd barely noticed trickling from his shoulders. "Can you think of why that might be, exactly?"

"Let's see..." Luffy rocked on his heels, fingers moving to his chin. "'Cuz you'd have to clean it up, afterward?"

"That is correct. Congratulations, you're not a total dumbass after all."

"So," Robin interjected. "I take it, it wasn't you, then?"

"Of course not."

A heartbeat passed, two, three.

"Then, it was Zoro!"

"HEY!"

While they bickered back and forth, Robin straightened her shirt. It was about time she fulfilled her role as Watson.

"Captain-san, if I may, wasn't Longnose-kun on watch last night? Why not ask him?"

Luffy's jaw dropped, and he whirled around. "OOH! Great idea, Robin! Let's go guys!"

"Why do I have to come?" Zoro and Sanji grumbled in sync. They then proceeded to glare holes into each other.

"So, you can't escape, duh! You have to stay with me until I know for sure!" On that note, he dashed off, only to skid to an abrupt halt. "Ah! That's right! One more thing!" He scampered back towards her, yanking his hat off and plopping it onto her head.

Her hands immediately moved to secure it in place. "Captain-san, what—?"

He gave a toothy grin that warmed her to the bone. "Watson needs a hat too! I'll just wear another one for now!" He took a step away, then once more, paused. "Just for now, though." He added, somewhat sternly. "You have to give it back when we're done."

Despite herself, Robin's lips tugged up. "Yes, Captain-san. I'll take good care of it."

A nod and he was off again, this time vanishing behind a slammed door. For a moment, they simply stared at the space he'd once occupied.

"Escape to where?" Sanji muttered with a vague gesture to the ocean.

Giving a soft laugh, she headed after Luffy.

"Ah, Robin!?"

"You're going?"

She turned, giving them the smile that was yet to fade. "The Captain did say to follow, did he not?"

Silence and she could imagine them exchanging glances. By the time she'd slid the door open, they were at her heels, muttering a string of unkind words at one another. She reached the boy's dorm right in time for Usopp's tired sigh.

"Oi, Luffy, I told you I can't mess around today, didn't I? Nami asked me to—"

"I know, I know! This is something different!"

Robin pushed the slanted door open, smiling at the sniper, whose gaze had snapped to her, brows scrunched together. When he caught sight of the other two, the surprise morphed into worry, and quite a bit of fear.

"W-What happened!? Are we under—"

"No, nothing like that," Luffy interceded, unbothered. He'd apparently snatched a hat from somewhere. Funnily enough, it bore a striking resemblance to Sherlock's hat. She wondered if that had been intentional.

Usopp's shoulders slumped in relief, and he set the Clima-Tact on the crate beside him. "So, what's going on guys?"

While Luffy explained in a rather silly manner, Robin studied the bags beneath Usopp's eyes, along with the splotches of grease on his fingers and overalls. He'd likely been working on this all night; even before being relieved from watch duty. If that were the case, whatever story he gave them wouldn't hold much ground.

At Usopp's gasp and whitening cheeks, she figured her hunch was correct.

"W-Well, last night I was... I was.."

She waited, expecting a lie, but instead, the sniper threw himself onto the ground in front of their feet, pressing his forehead to the floor.

"I was too busy working on the Clima-Tact!" He cried. Literally, considering the thickness of his voice. "Please forgive me Luffy!"

A sigh and Sanji shook his head, more exasperated than angry if she had to guess. Zoro, on the other hand, seemed rather ruffled, tucking his arms over his chest and scowling. He'd probably have a 'talking to' with the boy later.

"Yeah, that's fine," Luffy said easily, "So, did you see any— _AH!_ I almost forgot!"

Usopp lifted his chin, puzzled frown following Luffy, who had begun to pace around the room, humming loudly to the point of exaggeration. No one interrupted, equally fascinated with where this was going.

When Luffy's sandals slapped the floor and stayed there, she couldn't help but grin.

"That smell... meat."

Though his back was turned to them, she could picture him wearing that pseudo-serious expression from earlier. His tone certainly relayed as much.

Sanji's shoe made a tap as he stepped closer, a deadliness threading into his glare. "'Meat?'"

"That's right. I smell meat. Tell me, Usopp, why is that?"

Usopp flinched, beads of sweat trickling down his chin.

"You bastard!" Sanji roared, ready to charge him, but Zoro held the hilt of his sword in the way.

"Wait. Let him explain."

Usopp hit the ground, soul seeming to depart his body.

"Longnose-kun," She prompted.

He stirred at that, just enough to push himself upright, head remaining bowed in shame. "Okay, so I stole some food earlier," He admitted. Then, his eyes flew wide in sync with Sanji's, though for very different reasons. "B-But, I didn't wreck the place! Plus, that was forever ago, right before I went on watch! I didn't do it, I swear!"

Luffy looked at Sanji, a silent message seeming to pass between them despite the cook's gaze never straying from Usopp. He stepped around Zoro's sword, hands buried in his pockets, shoulders hunched.

"Usopp."

Usopp flinched, clearly expecting a kick or two. "Y-Yes?"

"I believe you."

"Look, it sounds bad, I know, but I really didn—wait, r-really!?"

Sanji didn't bat an eyelash. "Yeah. Really."

Everything hinted he was being sincere, so it was a little surprising when he proceeded to kick Usopp into the wall. While Usopp slid to the ground with a thud, Sanji took a drag from his cigarette.

"Thievery isn't tolerated here."

Usopp was on his feet at an astounding rate, fist waving in rage. "DON'T YOU GIVE ME THAT! WE'RE PIRATES FOR PETE'S SAKE!"

A fast recovery. Impressive.

"Besides," He went on, "Why is everyone blaming me anyways!? We all know it was probably Luffy!"

"What!?" Luffy snapped, "It was not!"

"Was so!"

Robin frowned. This wasn't going well. Should she interfere? She was mulling over something to say, when a familiar figure pushed their way inside, shoving Zoro with a little more force than strictly necessary.

"Hey!" He protested, but there was no weight behind it.

"What on earth is going on down here!?" Nami demanded, hair still clinging together in dark clumps and a damp towel tossed over her shoulders. "What's with all the yelling!?"

"Yeah," Another voice joined in.

Robin brightened. Chopper!

He was peering inside, hoofs pressed to Nami's legs like he'd intended to hide behind them. "Is everything okay guys? You're all being awfully loud..."

"No, it's not!" Luffy shouted, a beat ahead of Usopp. "This jerk's accusing me of wrecking Sanji's Kitchen!"

Nami scowled, "The Kitchen?"

For a moment, Luffy stared. Then, he gave another grunty laugh and Robin could infer what was coming next. She took the opportunity to slide away, pressing her back against the wall. She was rewarded for her forethought when Luffy walked forward a couple paces, only to whip around dramatically and jab a finger at Nami.

"I'm disappointed in you, Nami!"

She recoiled, mouth hanging open. "What!? What did I do!?"

"You're hair is wet and stuff, which means you just took a bath, right!?"

"Y-Yeah, but am I not allowe—!?"

"Don't lie to me! You were just trying to cover your tracks, weren't you!? I bet you're the culprit!"

" _What!?"_

"You bastard, how dare you accuse Nami-san! Take that back!"

Usopp staggered away, grabbing his slingshot and waving it at Chopper. "Wrong! I bet it was Chopper, he _is_ a reindeer after all!"

"What does being a reindeer have to do with anything!" Chopper yelled back, morphing into his hybrid state.

"Oi! Chopper, knock that off!" Zoro shouted, rushing over to stop him.

Screams, crashes, clothing flying this way and that, she couldn't help but feel a bit responsible. Though she was mostly thankful she hadn't been accused. After all, Luffy had been unexpectedly sharp. If she had suggested they visit the scene of the crime, he might have even figured it out.

Closing her eyes, she allowed herself to travel back to last night, the memories reflecting off her eyelids like a projection. Drinking with the crew, tossing and turning in bed, stumbling to the Kitchen only to find the room spinning a hundred miles-per-hour.

A miscalculation. That was all it had been.

A sock torpedoed across the room, and she ducked, allowing it to smash into the wall beside her with impressive force.

However, now that she thought about it... "I never did get that cup of coffee, did I?"

* * *

 **A/N:** **'** **Funnily enough, it bore a striking resemblance to Sherlock's hat. She wondered if that had been intentional.' yes, yes it was. I don't dbt for a second he'd have her hold his hat so he can dork out w/o worrying abt it X;D cunning Luffy**


	24. A Paradox

**A/N: spoilers for whole cake island arc**

* * *

Reiju Vinsmoke was a paradox. She was constantly in conflict with herself, every thought, every emotion, every action clashed within her.

She didn't help Sanji. Helping him would endanger her, therefore, not worth it.

She did help Sanji. She loved him and wanted what was best for him, even if it costed her dearly (and it did).

Both beliefs strongly contradicted the other, and yet, both rung true. She wanted to help him. She wanted to be safe even if that meant he wasn't. She wanted to see him. He must never return. She hated his weakness. She loved him for being kind.

Reiju struggled to understand her own mind. She'd never been the best at grasping emotions, so maybe that's why she couldn't place what she wanted, nor how she felt? She could never say for certain.

It wasn't until she was sifting through her estranged brother's books that she found a word to describe her condition.

'Noland the honest liar,' the title had read. She didn't know why she opened it. Something to do with happy days and welcoming embraces, with mornings spent alongside the only two people she would ever love in this world.

She wasn't surprised to find this in his room. While Sanji had always loved fairy tales, he'd also loved books containing knowledge, such as the Devil Fruit encyclopedia he used to carry around. A book like this that combined both elements was actually quite perfect for him. Maybe, that thought was what brought a smile to her lips, maybe, it was the reason her thumb brushed over the cover like it was something precious, something to be cared for.

Books were a waste of time. She wanted to read it. It was worthless. It was the most important thing in this damned place.

Moving to sit on the bed, she crossed her legs, balancing the soft surface on her knees. It wasn't long, just a twenty chaptered theory on the City of Gold and Noland's innocence. Speculations about his paradoxical behavior were scattered throughout it, and she found herself pausing at the word.

Paradoxical. That sounded like her.

She could almost laugh at the bitter irony of it. Of all the people she could've possibly related to, it had to be the man remembered for his lies.

Truly, just like her.

Muffled laughter sounded from the hallway, announcing the presence of her other 'brothers.' Before they could notice her, she slid off the bed, heading for the balcony. She set the book on the railing, ready to jump to the ground without it, but something made her stop. Something about the soft leathery glow the sun gave it, about the ghostly image of her little brother holding it, eye wide with awe, probably not doubting for an instant the liar's innocence.

Her heart clenched, and without another thought, she snagged it back into her arms. This was a pointless action. She needed it. A waste of space. An important reminder.

The book earned a nice spot in her dresser, tucked away where no one would find it, much like it had been in his room. 'They' would likely tear it up if it was discovered. Somehow, the idea of them doing so was unforgivable, yet she knew she wouldn't stop them.

Thus, her room was where it stayed. Occasionally, she'd switch the hiding place, as she'd been trained to act with caution. Came with the job, though it wasn't meant to be applicable to a child's book.

Despite her own protests, she never gave it up. It was likely she never would've. That is until the owner came home.

He was currently leaning against the railing, glaring down at the soldiers sparring, as he had been for awhile now. She wondered if he held a grudge over the cellar incident. Though it was under their father's orders, the soldiers had been the ones to capture and throw him in there.

Either way, he clearly wasn't happy to be home, nor with her being in his room, considering he'd already told her to 'get the hell out' ten times. Not that she could blame him. Frankly, she should give him his space. Being alone would comfort him far more than being in her company.

She stayed anyways.

Like it or not, she had orders to follow. By the end of the day, those cuffs needed to be on his wrists, and thus far, she hadn't found an opening to do so.

He'd changed.

A kernel of pride kindled at the thought, but she quickly snuffed it out. He shouldn't have come back. She was glad to see him.

The next time he demanded she leave, Reiju obliged, returning five minutes later with the book tucked beneath her arm. Sanji stared at her. She hadn't known a person could relay the desire to plant their head through a wall so vividly without speaking. No matter.

She strolled over to him, ignoring his low muttering, and pushed the book onto his chest. Despite his brow creasing in suspicion, his hands still moved to hold it. She smiled a bit. Perhaps she wasn't the only paradox around.

His initial distrust melted upon inspection, shaping instead into a confused scowl, and maybe, just maybe, the barest hints of a grin. "This old thing?"

Though her smile didn't fade, the sincerity did. Soon, he wouldn't be able to stand the sight of her. "One of the servants found it."

He hummed, a thoughtful sound.

She returned to the chair. Kept her eyes closed and head down. Didn't want to see him. He shouldn't be here.

"Noland," He said, nearly eliciting a flinch from her. He rarely spoke with her, and when he did, it was out of necessity. "That bastard wasn't lying. City of Gold really does exist—my crew found it."

She took a minute to process that. Who would've thought?

The answer came not a moment later. Sanji. Sanji would've.

Peeking at the satisfied smirk breaking through his mask, she knew her hunch had been correct. He'd believed in Noland's innocence all along. Finding the City of Gold was merely a confirmation.

"That doesn't prove anything," She said, regardless. "It was most likely a coincidence at best."

His shoulders jerked, any trace of happiness vanishing like mist on the wind. She watched him walk to the balcony in her peripheral vision, setting the book on the railing.

"Get the hell out already."

Make that twelve times. She made herself comfortable, slinging a leg over the other and resting her chin on her palm. Like it or not, she had an objective to carry out. She hated this. It was his own fault for coming back. She'd told him to stay away.

Speaking of which, why had he returned? He hadn't been placed in cuffs, nor threatened with his former employer yet, so why? Unless... Her fingers twitched beneath her chin. No. There couldn't possibly be another reason. She was overthinking things. He was just foolish.

Despite that, her unease didn't fade. There couldn't be something else.

Could there?

* * *

 **A/N: After all, we still don't know what Vito whispered to Sanji. Anyways what I meant about Reiju paying for helping Sanji, was that Judge probably decided to take away her ability to disobey orders after she did that. He wanted Sanji gone, yeah, but he couldn't have Reiju running around disregarding what he says, especially after what Sola did**


	25. Of Bounty Hunters and Idiots (Part 1)

**A/N: This ended up WAY longer than I expected, so I ended up splitting it into two parts! This part is a prelude of sorts, and I still have no idea how long the rest will be, I'll try to have it done soon as possible though**

* * *

"CHEERS!"

.

.

.

Usopp smashed his mug against those of his crewmate's, laughing even as some of the contents splashed onto his hand. Tonight was gonna be great, he could tell already! They had a lot to celebrate, after all!

In the span of a week, not only had they reunited, but they'd also rescued Fishman Island and entered the New World! It had been scary, dangerous, not to mention completely insane, but looking at the laughing faces of his friends, he couldn't help the feeling of contentment that swept over him.

"To us," Nami said, raising her mug once more with a grin.

"To us," Zoro repeated with a toothy smirk.

Again, they slammed their mugs together, this time with enough gusto to draw in several irritated glares from other people situated in the pub. He refused to let that faze him, ignoring them in favor of knocking back his drink. The alcohol warmed his throat all the way down, settling comfortably in his stomach, and he released a shoulder-slumping sigh. Yeah, there was absolutely nothing that could ruin the Great Captain Usopp's mood tonight!

Nothing!

.

.

(Oh, how he'd regret those words.)

* * *

When Usopp woke up, it was to a raging headache. Actually, his whole body ached. Felt like he'd been suckered punched by Luffy, except, all over.

Reminded him of the time they'd dueled back in Water Se—on second thought, he didn't want to think about that. Guess it could be worse. This time he wasn't sprawled on a rocky surface, at least. No, the icy tiles beneath him were doing wonders for...

Wait. What? Usopp popped his eyes open. Icy tiles?

Groping around until he could get a decent grip, he pushed himself upright, and not to brag or anything, he only groaned a little.

"What the...?"

He was crouching in the center of what appeared to be a storage room. Maybe. Honestly, the place was such a wreck he couldn't be sure what it's initial purpose had been. The only reason he'd guessed storage, was because of the assortment of boxes and random items scattered across the floor. Looked like a hurricane had blown through.

Frowning, he hoisted himself up using the nearest shelf, leaning his shoulder against it and drawing in a mouthful of air as the world tilted a bit. It was then he heard another groan.

Craning his neck, which gave a sharp stab in response, he located a figure near the back, curled into a ball with their arms coiled around several bags of rice and canned foods.

"..Sanji?"

Said crewmate grunted, the skin between his eyes crinkling in what may have been annoyance. He was out cold, by the looks of it.

Sighing, Usopp picked his way over, trying not to step on anything, failing and nearly receiving a faceful of floor as a result.

"Oi, Sanji!" Usopp stooped beside him, giving his shoulder a firm shake. "Wake up already!"

A grunt and a hand swatted at him feebly, as if trying to chase away a fly.

Scowling, he backed away. All right. Time for plan B.

Tucking his arms over his chest, he began a slow walk to the door. "All right, if you wanna lay there all day, who am I to stop you? I'll just have to tell that beautiful lady who showed up asking about you that you're not available right now."

One step, two steps, three, four.

"...Beautiful?"

Usopp wasn't sure whether to laugh or sigh. Honestly, Sanji was his friend and all, but he could be dumb as Luffy sometimes.

"Wait—what the—Usopp, where the hell are we?" A pause, "And why the hell do I feel like I've gone five rounds against Luffy!?"

Ah. Right.

Smile dissipating, he made his way to Sanji. "Don't know. I just woke up here. Actually, I was hoping you did, but..."

Sanji blinked, and a frown that bordered thoughtful curved his lips. Then he winced and ground the heel of his palm into his forehead. "Hell... Can't remember. Shit. Feels like I took a metal bat to the head."

Usopp cringed at his choice of words. "Ah, anyways, we should look for Luffy and the others, don't you think?"

At that, Sanji's mood did a whopping three-sixty, and he sprung to his feet, flames licking at the soles of his shoes. "That's right! My dear Nami-swan and Robin-chwan must be worried sick over me! Fear, not my loves, your prince is on his way!" He tossed the last bit over his shoulder as he raced for the door, slinging it open and... slamming it shut? What the—?

"Usopp." Sanji said, voice low.

"Y-Yes?"

Slowly, the cook turned to meet his gaze, visible eye round as a dinner plate. "There's a tiger."

"Huh?" No, no way! He must've misheard! "What'd you say?"

Sanji backed away, finally releasing the doorknob in favor of jabbing a finger at the door. "Out there. Tiger."

"Noooo," Usopp gave a huff of a laugh, clearing the space between them in a confident stride. "You must've imagined it. The sun playing tricks on your eyes, and whatnot," As Usopp said the last part, he yanked the door open, gesturing to the space outside despite Sanji frantically shaking his head. "See? There's no way there's a—"

"ROOOAAARRRRRR!"

Usopp slammed the door shut.

"Oh. My. God."

"Told you," Sanji grunted, digging into his pocket for a cigarette if he had to guess.

"You know, you should really stop smoking so much, Chopper showed me this medical textbook, and—OH, GOD THERE'S A FREAKING TIGER!"

Sanji nodded, stuffing a cigarette between his teeth. "Yeah."

"A TIGER!"

"Looks that way."

"How did it—what—why—it's gonna eat us!" Usopp crumpled to his knees, the last bit a whimper. "Save me."

Sanji sighed, using the smoke from his cigarette to really sell his point. "Get a hold of yourself, Usopp. There's a door between us, see? 'Sides, I heard if you play dead—"

"That's for bears, jackass!"

Sanji broke off, pinning Usopp with an annoyed scowl. "Fine, fight it is, then. I'll yank the door open on the count of three. Ready?"

"Huh!? Ah, uh, w-wait a minute!" Usopp scrambled to his feet, digging through his pouch until he'd located his Kabuto. "O-Okay!" He moved away until a good twenty feet were between him and the door. "R-Ready!"

Sanji elected to ignore that tiny detail, instead, nodding and proceeding to grab the knob. "One. Two."

Usopp swallowed, leveling his Kabuto with the door.

"Three!"

Sanji yanked it open, rushing forward, leg readied for a kick. Usopp was right behind him, in a manner of speaking, drawing the band of his slingshot back and firing. An achingly familiar shriek followed.

"AAAAAAAAAAACK!"

"Uh."

"Chopper!?"

Yeah, there was no mistaking it. That was Chopper, all right. He stood in front of the door, shaking like a leaf, a gaping hole in the counter where his head had been and a foot inches from sending him through the wall.

"Ah. Ah. Ahhhh." He fell over, limbs moving as though he'd turned to stone.

Usopp lowered his Kabuto, wasting no time hurrying to his friend's side. "Oi, Chopper! You all right!?"

"Well," Sanji said, "Shit."

That was one way to put it. Not only was the poor reindeer scared stiff, but for some reason or another, his clothes were covered in... something, and a collection of flower necklaces were tangled in his antlers. Seriously, though, what the hell was that stuff? It smelled like tabasco sauce.

"Ah. Ah. Ah." Chopper twitched, then, he shot upright, nearly ramming an antler through Usopp's eye. "AH!"

With much thanks to his training, Usopp jerked back not a second too late, tumbling onto the floor. "Hey! Watch it!"

Chopper's panicked gaze snapped from side to side, before settling on him and shifting into a sheepish grin. "Oh, uh, sorry!"

"Geez," Usopp huffed, shifting so that his legs were sprawled in front of him.

Sanji stared, jaw having dropped, cigarette falling.

Oh, come on, he knew that had been a close call, but it hadn't been that—

A shadow covered him.

—bad.

Usopp gulped.

A low rumble sounded behind him, and with a pang of dread, he craned his neck, locking eyes with the fully grown tiger looming over his shoulder.

"U-U-Uh, n-nice kitty?" He squeezed out of his tightening throat. "G-Good kit—"

"GROOOAAR!"

"EEEEEK!"

Sanji, to his credit, snapped out of his shock rather quickly, "Usopp, duck!"

Usopp had no qualms with that considering he'd already fallen over, darkness bordering on the edges of his vision. He could just catch a glimpse of Sanji rushing forward, leg raising, only to have Chopper... jump in front of him?

"Wait!" He yelped, hooves held in front of him as though to construct a barrier.

Sanji skidded to a hasty stop, teeth ground in the beginnings of a frustrated snarl. "Chopper, I don't know what the hell you—"

"He's friendly!" Chopper cut in, wide eyes glancing the hulking tiger over.

Now that he mentioned it, Usopp was noticing an utter lack of claws ripping him apart. That didn't mean anything, though! Usopp shoved himself to his hands and knees, crawling to the safety that was one of their crews strongest fighters.

"Chopper," The cook bit out, "Explain."

"W-Well," Chopper gave the tiger another once over before lowering his hooves, "Y-You see, I actually don't know why. I just woke up here a minute ago."

The tiger gave a low rumble, stalking closer and sitting at Chopper's side.

Okay. That was weird. And scary.

"O-Oh, is that so?" Chopper stammered, a startled frown curving his mouth. "Well, if you say so... O-Oh, right! He said," He cleared his throat, then donning a much deeper voice, "'Greetings, humans, my name is General Reeds, me and my men owe this blond warrior a hefty debt and have vowed to serve him 'til our dying breaths, so be it.'"

Said blond blinked, "Huh?"

"W-Wait, what?" Usopp spluttered. Then he realized, "Woah, wait a second, hold on, what does he mean by 'his men!?'"

The answer to his question came not a moment later, a stream of animals crawling from every nook and cranny the small dining parlor had to offer. Squirrels perched on the countertop, hawks gripped onto the tips of chairs while several wolves and foxes formed a circle around them.

Usopp was not liking this. No. Not one bit.

"If you're 'friendly,'" Sanji said the word 'friendly' the same way he'd say 'mosshead' or 'algae-for-brains.' "Then tell me why the hell you growled at us!"

The tiger swiped a paw over his chipped ear in way that seemed almost sheepish, then released another low rumble.

For a minute, Chopper simply stared up at them with expectant eyes. They returned it flatly until a spark of recognition flitted into the reindeer's expression, and he proceeded to translate. "A-Ah, he said, 'our beloved leader deserves nothing less than the most enthusiastic of greetings.'"

Usopp had never been more lost in his entire life. Thankfully, Sanji seemed equally flustered, considering the way he was blindly digging for his cigarette carton. Chopper looked between them, frown deepening.

"Um, S-Sanji... what did you..?"

"Dunno," He answered without missing a beat, "Don't remember anything. Shit."

The tiger gave a deep bow, or at least, that's what he figured the head tip was. This time, it only took a heartbeat for Chopper to translate.

"'He saved my army from the great destroyer of mountains,'"

Many of the animals gave joyful cries at that, the hawks flapping their wings, the wolves throwing their snouts up and howling.

"'We'll never forget the debt we owe you!'"

Silence.

Usopp jumped at the opening to sift through his memory. He thought back, absolutely certain he'd recall a 'great destroyer of mountains,' but all he got were vague images of stumbling through a darkened forest.

He crossed his arms. Weird.

Searching farther, he grasped onto drinking, the feeling of alcohol dribbling down his chin, the table steadily growing blurrier and blurrier until his mind drew a blank. But, that didn't make sense! He hadn't had that much to drink! Just the one!

He was on the verge of tugging his hair out in frustration when it hit him.

"Oh."

Sanji and Chopper's eyes snapped to him. Usopp offered them a shaky smile, before using the counter to hoist himself upright.

"U-Um, if you will, g-great, powerful, wonderful General Reeds, I, Captain Usopp would like a moment to discuss things with my... er, men—no, comrades."

A heartbeat passed, two, three, all the while the tiger's gaze bore into him. Then, right as he was beginning to think it would maul him after all, the large cat gave a curt nod and stalked to the other side of the counter, his army at his heels.

When the animals were out of earshot, Usopp inched closer, signaling for them to huddle around him.

"Sanji," He hissed, "You said you don't remember anything, right!?"

Sanji's frown deepened, "No. Not a damn thing."

"Chopper,"

The reindeer jumped a little at his name.

"You don't remember anything either, do you? Like how you got all that stuff on you?"

"N-No..." He admitted with a sheepish glance at the state of his clothes. "Not a thing."

Groaning, Usopp dragged his hands down his face. "Guys," He said, "I think we got drugged."

Chopper's jaw practically hit the floor, while Sanji bit his cigarette in half, the tip bouncing off his shoe.

"D-D-Drugged!" Chopper squawked, in a tone far too loud for Usopp's liking. He tried shushing him, but the reindeer was too busy running around in a panic to notice. "Oh no! Various drugs can have harmful side-effects such as dehydration, hallucinations and extreme fatigue!" He skidded to a halt long enough to check his pulse, then his hooves raced to his temples. "I need to run over the symptoms! Headache, check. Dizziness, check. Soreness—"

"Check." Usopp and Sanji droned.

"Ah! This is bad!" Chopper cried, then he seemed to remember something, and his eyes widened in horror. "Wait, where is everyone else at!?"

In synch, Usopp and Sanji shrugged.

"What if they're passed out somewhere hurt!? Or, or, what if someone kidnapped them!?"

Usopp shuffled his feet, dread seeping down his spine. "Y-You don't think—?"

The familiar scent of something burning reached his nose, and he cut himself off in favor of shuffling backward. Chopper mimicked the sentiment, obviously not fancying the idea of being filleted any more than he did.

"Fucking bastard," Sanji rumbled, both legs bursting into flames that danced up his torso, "If anyone even so much as dared to lay a hand on Nami-swan or Robin-chwan..." He spun on his heel, likely about to tear his way outside, then into whatever poor idiot that'd deemed drugging the Strawhat Pirate's a good idea.

Usopp must've lost his freaking mind during his training with Heracles, because he actually grabbed Sanji's shoulder, and slid in front of him.

"Woah, woah, hold on a sec', Sanji!"

Sanji's glare sharpened into something that would likely haunt his dreams for the next month or so. "Usopp, if you don't get the hell out of my way this instant—"

"I've got a better idea!" He interceded, surprising himself with how steady his voice came out. Yup. Definitely, must've lost his mind.

Sanji didn't seem elated by the idea, though he quit struggling. "Explain."

"W-Well," Usopp glanced at the legion of animals.

Most of them had noticed the exchange and were watching with curious eyes.

He lowered his tone several octaves. "They think you're their leader or something, right? Why not have them search the area?"

A blink, then a grin almost as terrifying as Zoro's before a battle split the cook's face. "Ah. I see what you mean. Good thinking, Usopp."

"W-Well, I guess I am pretty great, aren't I?" Usopp chuckled. His glee was short-lived, however, as Sanji threw an arm around his neck and dragged him to the center of the parlor.

"Attention!"

The animals wasted no time gathering in a neat line in front of them, while the General tiger sauntered over, lazily taking his seat on Sanji's other side.

Nodding in satisfaction, Sanji lit a cigarette, taking a drag in that way he did when he was trying to be serious.

"All right, listen up, you walking chunks of sirloin and steaks—"

Usopp gave his ankle a sharp kick for that. Sanji didn't bat an eyelash.

"—you said something about me being your savior or whatever, right? Well, here's your chance to pay me back. Usopp. Bounty Posters."

"Ah, uh, r-right." Ducking out of the cook's grasp, Usopp dug through his pouch until his fingers had brushed against the rough surface of paper. "Here!"

Sanji took them, crouching and placing two on the floor.

Usopp gaped at Nami and Robin's pictures, then at the rest still rolled up in his fist. Honestly, he should've expected that.

"I want these two found in no less than an hour! If even a hair on their perfect heads is harmed, I'll personally ensure—"

"What he means to say," Usopp interceded, forcing his lips into a shaky smile. "Is that these two are friends of ours! Very good friends! A lot of stuff happened last night, you see, and in the confusion, we lost track of them! You guys wouldn't mind helping us search, would you?"

Several squawks and barks followed.

"Uh," Chopper inched closer, hooves rubbing together in an anxious gesture. "T-They said, 'silence you long-nosed ape, t-the... leader is speaking...'"

Usopp took a moment to process that. "LONG-NOSED WHA—"

Sanji made a point to clear his throat, "As I was saying, if even a hair on my beautiful princesses heads is harmed, I'll personally ensure every one of you is turned into a savory broth and fed to them as a snack. Capiche?"

At that, loud howls and roars filled the room, though they seemed more pumped than angry.

"They said, 'YES LEADER!'" Chopper supplied, a tad too eager.

On that note, the General stood up, stalking to the bounty posters, and giving an earsplitting roar Chopper quickly translated.

"'Enough tomfoolery men I want eyes in the sky immediately!'"

Usopp took advantage of the diversion to slink off to the side. A cyborg, a talking skeleton, now an army of animals pledging their undying loyalty to Sanji. Such is the life of a Strawhat Pirate. His head bobbed in tune. No point questioning it anymore.

"Usopp," Chopper called, "Come on!"

Usopp stared dumbly at the Parlor, already nearing empty. Chopper and Sanji had paused by the exit, the latter pinning him with a scowl that was anything but friendly.

Huh. They really didn't waste any time, did they?

"Get your ass over here," Sanji said, voice oddly monotone. "We're leaving."

"Ah, I'm coming! Wait a second!"

He practically tripped over himself hurrying to them, and Sanji pushed the door open, allowing the remaining animals to dart passed their legs, the birds vanishing into the sky, the chipmunks and other land animals heading for every corner and alleyway in sight.

Don't question it, he reminded himself. This is perfectly normal for us.

Something warm rammed into the center of his back, sending him staggering a couple paces forward.

"Hey! Watch it!" He yelped, whirling around only to find himself glaring down none other than the General tiger.

Chopper cleared his throat as the General gave a small rumble.

"'Straighten your spine, nimrod! Your posture is worse than a half-drowned rabbit!'"

Usopp's mouth fell open, a tick settling in his left eye. Don't question it. Don't do it. Don't even go ther—

"WHAT THE HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELL!"

Darnit.


	26. Of Bounty Hunters and Idiots (Part 2)

**A/N: Okay, I lied, apparently there are gonna be three parts, this story is proving to be a monster**

* * *

Three blocks in, they realized the place was a ghost town. It was creepy, especially considering how full of life it had been just yesterday—a town dedicated to gambling and partying, bustling with noise even in the early mornings. Now, however, the only thing to break the heavy silence hanging over the streets was the occasional animal scampering by.

Usopp frowned at Sanji, who ignored him in favor of fiddling with his tie.

He spoke up anyways, "Man, where did everyone go? I mean, if someone was still around they definitely would've screamed by now on account of the tiger—"

Said tiger growled.

Chopper tore his gaze from the rooftops long enough to translate, "'That's _General_ tiger to you, maggot.'"

Usopp's mouth twitched. Shaking it off, he returned his attention to Sanji. "It's just weird, don't you think? You think the 'destroyer of mountains' or whatever had something to do with this?"

"Dunno," Sanji said, "It.. could've..." He trailed off, both verbally and physically considering he'd stopped in the middle of the sidewalk.

"Ah, Sanji?" Usopp queried, pausing at his side. "What's...?"

Oh.

Farther ahead, a large plume of smoke was wafting into the sky, far too large to be from a simple campfire.

"Smoke is white, so there's not a fire," Sanji noted, though Usopp figured it was more for himself than them.

"Wanna check it out?"

"Yeah."

"What're you guys talking about?" Chopper asked, falling in step with him, gaze still wandering from building to building.

"Just something we wanna check out." Usopp explained, "What's got you so distracted anyways?"

"Huh?" Chopper's focus snapped to him, then slowly drifted away again, the skin between his eyes pinching in concentration. "I don't know. Something about this place seems familiar is all."

"Huh? Maybe we came through here yesterday?"

Chopper gave a vague hum, though didn't disagree.

"What the—!" At Sanji's outburst, they turned their heads.

He was staring around the corner with his mouth hanging open, and when Usopp caught up, he understood why. The entire block had been decimated. The buildings were riddled with meteor-sized holes, some missing entire roofs, others with windows busted out and slashes down the side, as though someone had cut and smashed right through them.

Sanji started forward, and Usopp stumbled after him numbly, still taking in the wreckage. He nearly tripped over a crater in the ground because of this, grabbing onto a lightpost, the only one that remained standing. The rest had been chopped in half or bent like they were made of clay rather than solid metal.

Holy sh—

"What happened here?" It took Usopp a second to realize it had been him who'd spoken.

Sanji barely looked at him, face several shades too pale. "No clue."

The tiger flicked his ear dismissively, and Chopper had blanked out even more than before.

"Chopper?"

Nothing.

Huh. Weird.

"Look at that." Sanji raised a finger, pointing to a grocery store at the end of the street.

Out of everything, it was by far in the worst condition. If the rest of the buildings looked like meteors had rammed through them, this one looked like an entire fleet of canons had been set loose on it. There were so many holes dotting the walls he couldn't believe it was still standing, let alone not covered in flames.

Although, it _was_ kinda tipping to the side, and there _was_ a trail of smoke wafting from the back—the same one they'd followed if he had to guess.

"Maybe that'll shed some light on whatever went down here."

"The grocery store!?" Usopp asked incredulously.

"No," Sanji said, lowering his finger a tinge.

Usopp's eyes mimicked the movement, resting on...

"That."

"Oh, I see." He nodded, a smile tugging at his lips. Wait. "WHAT THE HELL!?"

Brook was lying in front of the entrance to the store, head resting on his guitar case and a bubble of snot gently shrinking and expanding with every breath. How a skeleton had managed to form a snot bubble was beyond him, but he'd stopped trying to rationalize Brook a long time ago. About a week after meeting him to be exact.

"Oi, Brook!" Sanji shouted, rushing over to him with the tiger at his heels.

Usopp was about to follow when he noticed Chopper hadn't moved. He was still by the corner, staring at the store as though it was riddled with dynamite.

"Chopper?"

Slowly, the Doctor's gaze shifted to him. "Uh.. Usopp..."

"Hey, Brook, get the hell up!"

 _WHACK!_

"OW!"

"I.. I think," Chopper swallowed, eyes widening further, "We did this..."

On cue, a weight slammed into his head, causing him to stagger several paces away. Somewhere, Chopper called for him, but it was faint like a veil had separated them. As his shoulder met a rough surface, probably a wall, he gave into the sensation, allowing it to sweep over him like a tidal wave and drag him under.

* * *

"I'm sorry sir, you can't come in here." The man repeated, voice terse with worry.

"Come on!" Came a slurred reply, "We jus' need'a stock up a bit, then 'ell be outta yer hair!"

Wait. That voice was familiar...

"Sir, I really—"

A dark hand pressed against the man's chest, perhaps in a failed attempt to grab his shoulder. He knew that hand.

That was...

"Can't ya make an exception this one 'ime? I go' an army of over nine thousan' men to feed ya know!"

 _It's me,_ He hissed internally. _But, wait, what the—!?_

The man he assumed must be the manager grew increasingly nervous, "Sir, as much as I would like to, we do not allow," He turned to the side.

Usopp's line of sight also swiveled, though it was blurry like he was watching through a low-resolution projection.

It took him longer than he was proud of to realize they were looking at Chopper, and he only figured it out because of the blue dot mixed in with the splotch of brown.

" _Reindeer_ inside the store."

Like he'd said, for some reason, Chopper had switched into his walk point. There was an arm leaning on his back, as though someone was using him for support, but whoever it was stood just out of view.

"'Reindeer!?'" Chopper growled, though it was low enough for the man not to hear.

The manager's eyes shifted, resting on something behind him, "Nor... Er, Skeletons... If you want to come in, you'll have to leave your pet and your doll outside.. sir..."

Instead of arguing, the world lurched, buildings and sidewalks swimming as he turned to face the street, where another figure stood.

"'Ey, Sanji, he sai' we can't come in!"

Yeah, that had to be Sanji, if the blobs of black and yellow were anything to go by. He had his back to them, shoulders jerking as he yelled at... a tree?

"Damn mosshead! Ya wanna fight, huh!?" He slurred, giving the trunk a hefty kick.

Several of the people walking passed gaped at him like he was crazy. Well, he couldn't see their expressions, but they must've been.

"I ain't.. Scared of you!"

Thunk! Another kick and the tree toppled over, landing in the middle of the road and nearly taking out several passerbys.

Luckily, they'd dodged. Probably. He really hoped they did.

His vision was too blurry for him to be sure, well, that and the outburst behind him drew his focus once more.

"OI, WHA' DO YA MEAN I CAN'T COME IN CUZ' I'M A REINDEER!?" Chopper snapped, shifting into his hybrid form and raising his fists.

The person beside Chopper wasted no time joining in. "A DOLL!?"

Huh. Guess it'd been Brook leaning on him. Made sense.

"HOW RUDE! I AM A GENTLEMAN, I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW!"

The manager, understandably, did what anyone would've when confronted with a talking skeleton and transforming reindeer. He shrieked in pure terror.

"YOU RACIST!"

"RACIST!"

Did skeletons and reindeer count as a race? Before he could give it much thought several ground shaking explosions rang out, and the front door to the store was blown clear off its hinges.

"Take that raciiiiiist!" Chopper screamed, pumping his arms and charging inside.

Brook was at his heels, drawing his guitar and releasing a burst of music that made Usopp queasy upon hearing.

He couldn't help but notice the manager was gone. Really hoped he'd run away, and that wasn't _him_ who'd been thrown through the door.

The Usopp from last night didn't seem to care much, instead, turning to Sanji, who'd begun staggering away, swaying on his feet and mumbling something incoherent.

A pause, then he followed.

"Sanji, I though' ya 'anted ta stock up?"

* * *

Usopp blinked the memory away, speckles in his vision clearing until he could make out a brick wall. He pushed off it, ignoring the painful throb his head gave and turned to Chopper, who was staring at the store, expression somewhat sheepish.

"Oops."

Usopp didn't even know where to begin with what was wrong with that.

"Brook, what the hell happened to you!? What is this stuff?"

At Sanji's startled yell, he lifted his head, eyes flickering to the collapsed tree in front of the store. Something in him began to break at the sight, so he shook it off in favor of stumbling over to his friends.

Like Sanji had said, Brook was drenched from head to toe in something, and if he had to guess, it was the same something Chopper was covered in.

"My, oh my, what an exquisite nap that was!" Brook said, giving his arms a luxurious stretch. A pause, then he raised a finger, voice growing serious. "Ah, would you two be kind enough to wait just one moment? I won't be long at all."

Usopp shot Sanji a frown he mirrored, but they obliged.

Brook pulled the guitar case onto his lap, digging through it until his skeletal hands returned wrapped around a thermos. As he pulled the lid off, Usopp took notice of the flower necklaces hanging from his afro. Seriously, what had those two gotten into after they'd split up?

Brook poured a steaming liquid into the cup, blowing on it patiently before taking a long sip. Then he promptly spit it out all over them.

"OH DEAREST OF ME'S, A TIGER!"

For a moment, Usopp just stared, a lukewarm fluid he now knew on a very intimate level was tea, dripping down his face. Sanji had lowered his head, bangs clumped together with the sticky liquid. When he finally spoke, it was in a low growl.

"General. Maul."

An earsplitting roar followed, and the general tiger leapt over their heads, barreling into Brook and pinning him to the ground. Resisting the childish urge to cheer, Usopp set a hand on Sanji's shoulder.

"Excellent abuse of power."

"I thought so too."

Chopper sauntered closer, giving Brook a passive glance as he went. "Is he gonna be all right?"

"Probably."

When the general finally relented, Brook's coat had been shredded, and several teeth marks dotted his arms.

"Why I never!" He huffed, more indignant than anything. "Siccing a tiger on your crewmate is incredibly rude I'll have you know!"

Said tiger responded by baring its teeth.

"Yeah, yeah, I'll repent later," Sanji muttered, running a hand through his hair. "Anyways, since you're here, I assume you have some idea what happened."

Brook fell silent at that, turning to face the ruined street. He remained like that for several heartbeats before grabbing the cup of tea that had somehow survived. He took a sip.

"Why, that would be our Captain's work."

"Wait..." Usopp breathed out. "Y-YOU REMEMBER!?"

Sanji and Chopper gaped in shock.

"Ah, yeah," Brook said like it was no big deal. "It was quite a wild night if I do say so myself. I haven't had such an exhilarating time in years. Really got my blood going, except, I don't have any blood anymore because—"

"Wait, _Luffy_ did all this!?" Sanji exclaimed, palms slamming onto his knees.

Brook sat stoic for a moment, sulking if he had to guess, then released a bone-rattling sigh and crossed his arms.

"Why, yes, he did indeed. Him and Zoro-san made quite a mess of the place during their spat."

Chopper blinked, "'Their spat?'" He teared up. "Did they get into a fight!?"

Brook nodded, "They did. And what a marvelous fight it was! Simply amazing!"

"Wait, wait, wait," Usopp interceded, "Why do _you_ remember everything!? And what the heck happened to us last night!?"

Sanji shot him a wide-eyed look before returning his focus to Brook. "Good point! Hey, Brook, why the hell didn't you get drugged!?"

Brook lifted his cup, taking another drawn out sip. With a sated sigh, he lowered it, cradling it in his hands. "Why, that's simple. After that strange young man slipped something into the bottle, I stopped drinking."

The silence that followed was deafening. All the while, Brook casually finished his drink, returning the thermos to wherever he'd stashed it in his guitar case.

"You mean to tell me," Sanji ground out, the air surrounding him electric. "You saw someone drug our rum, and you _didn't think to tell us!?"_

"BROOK!" Chopper yelped, scrambling to his feet as he finally processed what had been said.

"Ah! I guess I very well could have done that!" Brook said, plopping a fist onto an open palm. "My honest mistake!"

The minutes that followed were a blur, but Usopp's pretty sure he got a couple good kicks in before Sanji sent the tiger in to finish the job. He almost felt bad looking at Brook's beaten form. Almost.

Sanji knelt by his shoulder, taking Brook by the collar and giving him several rough shakes. "All right, spill it! Who the hell drugged us, and why the hell were Luffy and that damn mosshead fighting!?"

"I am.. unable... to answer.. either of your questions!" Brook managed to squeeze out, tone taking an offended turn. "Perhaps, you should ask... Franky-san!" The last words were a gasp as Sanji dropped him onto the ground.

Brook landed face first, making no move to get up, nor to continue the conversation.

Sanji raised a brow, "Franky? Why do you think he'd know?"

Usopp paused, a hazy image of the trio wandering out of the pub together surfacing. "He was with them, wasn't he?"

"Huh?" Sanji's frown snapped to him, "You remember?"

Humming, Usopp tucked his arms over his chest. "Sorta."

"Yeah," Chopper agreed after a beat, "I think I remember something like that too."

With a slow nod, Sanji strolled over to the fallen tree. "We'll have to look for Franky on top of searching for Nami-swan and Robin-chwan, then. Chances are, he won't remember a damn thing either, but he may have some clues as to where they disappeared to."

Usopp opened his mouth to agree, then, a thought struck him. "Wait, wait, what about Luffy and Zoro?"

"What about them?"

"Uhhh..." Usopp was mulling over some way to reason with the cook, but upon being confronted with a blank stare, he realized doing so would be completely pointless. "Nothing."

Sanji nodded like that was exactly what he'd wanted to hear (knowing him it was) then planted a foot on the toppled tree's trunk, fire erupting around his legs. "AWOOOOH! NAMI-SWAN! ROBIN-CHWAN! YOU'RE PRINCE IS ON HIS WAY!"

"Usopp," Chopper whispered with a tug on his pant leg. "I might know where Franky is."

Turned out, the cyborg was behind the store. The area was noticeably less destroyed than the rest of the block, though it was messier in other ways. The few pieces of wall that remained were splattered in that same ruddy liquid Chopper, and Brook was covered in, ashes forming a circle on the stone sidewalk, enough charcoal for there to have been a bonfire. That wasn't the weirdest part, though. No, the weirdest part was the flower necklaces that had managed to cover _every single object._ The branches of trees, the shrubs, the busted pipes hanging from the ceiling, even the two unconscious forms of his crewmates; Robin leaning against an oak, so many necklaces it was more of a boa, and Franky slumped spread-eagle in the grass, barely managing not to drown in them if his muffled snores were any indicator.

Usopp couldn't bring himself to do more than sigh, nor could Sanji (until he noticed Robin and spun over to her in a 'whirlwind of love'). Chopper and Brook, on the other hand, were staring at the splotches of that sticky fluid with no small amount of horror.

He considered asking, probably would've, if Franky hadn't chosen that instant to shoot upright, roaring loud enough to make him stumble away several paces.

"—YOU DEAF!? I SAID NOT TO TOUCH ANYTHING!"

"W-W-What!?" Chopper exclaimed, darting backward to hide behind Usopp's legs. "We didn't touch anything!"

"Ah, Franky-san, good morning! Or, should I say evening?" Brook laughed, relatively unfazed.

Franky stared at them, eyes clouded with sleep, then blinked, groped around beside him until his fingers were coiled around his sunglasses, and pushed them onto his nose. "...What's with the tiger?"

"That's what you want to start with!?" Usopp spluttered, giving the general tiger an annoyed glance. Of all the things—the leveled store, burnt out campfire, strange liquid, the ocean of freaking flower necklaces—that was what he asked about!?

The tiger replied by sitting straighter, snout raised in a borderline snobbish gesture. Yeah, that tiger was really starting to bother him.

"A-Ah, he said: 'you seem like a worthy adversary, so I'll excuse your insubordinate behavior just this once, dirtbag.'"

A pause, then Franky's lips parted into a crescent-like smirk, giant hand forming a thumbs up. " _Super_ cool!"

"That was cool!?" Usopp protested while Robin gave a muffled chuckle.

Amusement fading somewhat, she pressed a hand to her cheek. "Perhaps, he intends to rip out your entrails?"

"Oi, don't say things like that!"

"Robin!"

"Nah," Sanji said, disturbingly unaffected by her morbid remark, "Shitty tiger won't do anything unless I tell it."

"Oh?"

The tiger gave a proud nod.

While Usopp walked over to Franky, Robin crouched by the tiger, scratching him behind the ears with a pleased grin. Brook remained rooted in place by the corner, as did Chopper. Usopp figured it was better not to ask.

"What the hell happened here?" Sanji asked, anyways, joining Usopp at Franky's shoulder. "The hell is all this stuff?"

Franky stared blankly. Mechanically, he moved his head, examining the craters and smoke, the splotches of red fluid and flowers.

"Maybe it's blood?" Robin put in with a small frown, though she in no way seemed concerned.

Meanwhile, the tiger leaned into her touch, purring loudly and unashamed.

"Some General," Usopp muttered, warranting a glare that made his heart skip a beat.

Tentatively, Chopper picked his way closer, hooves in front of his chest. "'Hold your tongue you long-nosed ape. And, by the smell of it, this isn't blood—smells like that strange stuff humans like to flavor their prey with.'"

Sanji frowned, arms crossing over his chest. "Barbeque sauce?"

Franky gave an ambiguous hum, dipping a finger into the colored dirt only to plop it into his mouth. "Blegh!" He promptly spat it out. "Tastes super bad!"

Chopper finally stopped at Sanji's side, eyes flickering over the clearing.

Speaking of Chopper, "Hey, Brook, why the heck are you guys covered in barbecue sauce too?"

Chopper's petrification relapsed, his legs going stiff and a low whine escaping his throat. Even Brook seemed unnerved, which immediately freaked Usopp out as well.

"W-W-Wait, w-whatever d-did this isn't s-still around, r-right guys!?"

Franky swung onto his feet, raising a brow and jabbing a thumb over his shoulder. "What do you mean, 'course it is! Take a look at my Battle Franky thirty-eight point one! Pretty super, huh!?"

That's when Usopp realized something was still snoring. Neck stiff, he tore his gaze away, following the sound to a hunk of twitching metal. It was reclining behind a pile of shrubs, it's square head resting on large arms, one shaped as though a canon was inside, the other like a normal hand.

It was small, it was ridiculous, didn't even have legs, just treads, it was... It was...

"Super cool!"

" _Super!"_ Franky howled. A pause and he scratched his chin. "Well, there were a few bugs I still have'ta work out."

Robin chuckled into her palm.

Usopp blinked, smile wavering, "Bugs?"

"Wait," Sanji cut in, "The robot is cool and all, but where the hell are Luffy and the mosshead?"

Franky hummed thoughtfully, before pulling a wrench out of who-knows-where and beginning to fiddle with his robot. "Can't say I know. Sorry, bro. Last time I saw 'em, the two were arguing over something, then Luffy said he was hungry, so I left to find some scrap metal. Figured I could build a robot to cook us up something since no one could find you."

Sanji's expression darkened to such an extent, Usopp could've sworn it had materialized around him. But, wait, what was there to be mad about?

With a soft laugh, Brook edged closer, cane waving in the air beside him.

Wait. No. No way. No, that couldn't be it! This was Franky, after all! Surely, he wouldn't—

In that instant, Chopper revived, pushing himself up with round eyes. "You didn't get drugged with us?"

To his credit, the cyborg seemed genuinely surprised, pausing in his work to glance up at them. "'Drugged?'"

"..You didn't drink the rum, did you, Franky?" Usopp asked, tone flat.

"'Course not, I only drink cola!"

For a moment, they just stared, Franky with a baffled frown and Usopp expressionless. The standoff might have gone on for longer if all the anger hadn't proceeded to hit him at once.

"YOU MEAN TO TELL ME YOU SERIOUSLY DIDN'T NOTICE!?"

"Woah, bro, calm it down," Franky said, leaning away. "I just figured you guys were having a super time is all. Who was I to interf—?" The last part was cut off in favor of blocking Sanji's foot. "Hey! Watch it!"

"You mean to tell me," Sanji rumbled, same way Usopp had. That's why, he was expecting more or less the same, already nodding in tune. "Luffy said he was hungry,"

Wait. What?"

"And instead of just buying some damn food from the store literally right in front of you, _you build a shitty robot!?"_

Franky's jaw dropped, the wrench spilling from his free hand. "..Well, when you put it like that it almost sounds stupid."

"It is stupid!" Sanji roared, retracting his leg and going in for another kick.

Usopp's palm collided with his face, a groan that was equal parts painful escaping. "Gotta be kidding..." A thought hit him, and he straightened. "Wait, Robin, if you were here, why didn't you stop him!?"

Robin offered an ambiguous smile, "I am unsure. Much of last night is a blur, however, I do not believe I was around for that particular part of it."

"That's correct," Brook nodded, strumming absently on his guitar. "Robin-san showed up near the end and helped me take it down. In the end, we managed to put it to sleep."

"Oh, I see, I se—wait, take it down!?"

"Robin-san," Brook went on, ignoring him. "Now that you are lucid, could you perhaps consider showing me your panties?"

Robin's smile took a murdery turn. Usopp promptly dropped the conversation and moved farther away. He'd take getting kicked by Sanji over an angry Robin any day.

Thankfully, neither things got the chance to happen, because, in a hailstorm of whirring and zapping noises, the robot burst upright.

" **I am back!"** A staticky voice exclaimed.

Chopper's mouth fell open, "Wha—"

Usopp's followed suit, "The robot—"

"It... It can—"

"—t-talk!"

Then in sync, they threw their arms up and yelled, "THAT'S TOO COOL!"

Even Sanji had frozen, visible eye round, "It can talk?"

Franky swiped a thumb over his nose. "Heck yeah, it can! Took me over fifteen minutes to build and install that damn speech unit, but as you can see, the results speak for themselves!"

"So cool!" Chopper cried, and if Usopp's cheeks were currently covered in tears as well, he wasn't the least bit ashamed of it.

He was so caught up in the explosion of glorious robot awe, he almost didn't hear the next words it spoke.

" **Targets acquired."**

"Ah, targets?"

" **One reindeer, one tiger, and one unknown creature. Locking on."**

"Locking on?"

A series of blurred colors shooting from its arm clarified the statement. Brook and the tiger dodged to the side while Chopper was hit right in the face, bowling over from the force.

Usopp's heart skipped a beat, and he whirled around. "Ah! Chopper!"

"Don't worry," Franky said with a dismissive wave. "It only shoots flower necklaces!"

" **Attack mode, activate."**

Franky's cheerful grin vanished. "Okay, you might wanna start running. Like I said; few bugs."

"IT HAS AN ATTACK MODE!?"

"Well, how else was it supposed to catch us food?"

"WHAT!?"

Several flower necklaces shot passed Usopp, so fast the only reason he'd noticed was the wind trailing behind them. Jerkily, he turned, discovering an equal number of gaping holes in the ground where the necklaces had landed.

He swallowed heavily.

" **Preparing Barbeque sauce."**

Why, oh why, had he joined this crew again?

* * *

 **A/N: The robot part may or may not have to do with all the RvB I've been watching lately... Anyways, I should have the last part out soon, then everything will make sense, I promise**


	27. Of Bounty Hunters and Idiots (Part 3)

"RUN!"

Usopp darted for the forest, scooping Chopper under an arm as he went. Behind him, a series of explosions shook the ground, nearly unbalancing him.

"What the hell is with this thing, Franky!?"

"Like I said," Franky retorted, tone thick with agitation. "There were a few bugs! Cut me some slack, I'm super used to making weapons, not cooking bots!"

"Yeah, well—"

The next part was drowned out by another resounding _BOOM._ Usopp paused at the treeline, free hand edging to his Kabuto, but Brook beat him to the punch, drawing the sword hidden within his cane and stepping between them and the robot.

"Go, Usopp-san! Sanji-san! I'll handle this!"

"Me too," Franky said, smashing a fist into an open palm. "I got a few idea how I can fix this."

The nod Robin gave them said it all, and she crossed her arms over her chest, "Dos Fleur!"

Two human arms sprouted on the robot's shoulders, grabbing it's metallic jaw and jamming it upwards.

" **System error. Hostile detected."**

Sanji glanced at Usopp from across the clearing. For a moment, they simply stared at each other, then Sanji nodded and headed after him.

"All right, Brook, I'm leaving this to you, I'll find Luffy and the mosshead!" Of course, not a second later, he spun on his heel and added, "If you let Robin-chwan get so much as a scratch on her, I'll grind your bones into powder!"

A ground-shaking _BOOM_ answered.

Usopp refused to look back. He knew they'd be fine. If anyone could take on a psycho killer robot, it was those three.

"U-Usopp," Chopper choked out, voice muffled against his side.

Usopp didn't pause to listen, continuing his mad dash to safety until a mile or two had been put between them. At that point, he earnestly couldn't maintain that pace even if he'd wanted to, lungs shrieking for air, already sore muscles burning. Sanji looked exhausted too, leaning against a tree as he gasped for breath. The tiger was also winded, which made Usopp feel slightly better as he crumpled to his knees. Didn't seem like much on a flat surface, but in a forest, a couple miles felt like trekking up a mountain.

"Tha—that. That was _insane."_

The others murmured their agreement, Chopper's tone several pitches above the rest as he pushed away, collapsing onto his back.

"T-That robot chased us around all night last night." He coughed, eyes wide. "I-I jus' remembered."

"'Us' as in—?"

"Me an' Brook. I spent the other half trying to find you guys."

"Ah, I gotcha."

"What the hell is that?"

"I know ri—huh?"

Sanji was staring at something passed them, eyebrow furrowed in a scowl. "'The great destroyer of mountains,' huh?"

"What?"

Usopp craned his neck, gaze settling on... a destroyed mountain. Oh, man. That was just—

That was—

He didn't know what that was.

Though the mountain itself was still several miles away, the top had been visibly blown clean off, like something impossibly large had smashed into it. He had an inkling what that something might've been. Exchanging worried frowns, they headed for it, the trees gradually growing more and more damaged, until they arrived at a giant crater in the ground.

"U-Uh, Usopp..." Chopper murmured.

Usopp wasn't listening, too stunned by what lay in the center of the mess. Sometimes, being right was the worst.

Meanwhile, the tiger strode forward without a sound, paws halting at the edge, and only then did he release a low rumble. Chopper's attention snapped to him, mouth falling open. Usopp and Sanji waited in silence for him to gather his bearings enough to face them, expression like that of someone who'd been told the entire forest would burst into flames at any second.

"H-He said: 'that's him,'" Chopper swallowed, "'The great destroyer of mountains.'"

Usopp's blood went cold. Slowly, he shifted to the crater, eyes sliding to the center once more.

"That guy?" Sanji asked, edging closer to jab a finger at it.

A growl.

"'Yes, leader.'"

Usopp pointed at the crater as well. "Him?"

"'Ask me that question one more time, maggot, and I'm gonna smack you so hard they'll be prying your cold, lifeless, flattened corpse off the dirt.'"

Usopp, to his credit, only squeaked a little.

Sanji sighed, long, hard, then started forward, sliding down the damaged dirt until he'd arrived at the bottom, where none other than their captain lay spread-eagle, lips parted in an obnoxious snore.

"Oi, Luffy," While Sanji prodded their captain with his foot, Usopp couldn't help the feeling of déjà vu that swept over him.

As he studied the smashed trees and shattered rocks—some scorched as though they'd been burned—the sensation only intensified. Yeah. Yeah, this place was... He'd been here before, hadn't he?

"LUFFY!" Came Chopper's voice, but Usopp hardly heard him.

A tug on his brain, another, then he gave in, allowing his mind to drift back to last night.

* * *

"Sanji, 'ait up!"

The blob of yellow and black ignored him, continuing to stagger down the sidewalk like a man on a mission. Maybe it was the drug, but Usopp felt detached from his body, every sensation nulled behind a fog, every thought bleary and hardly heard. For whatever reason, his scrambled brain had settled on the task 'follow Sanji', and considering they'd woken in the same room, he'd accomplished it in the end.

"Sanji!" He tried again.

No response.

Instead, Sanji veered to the left, wading through ankle-high shrubs to enter the forest. Usopp followed, feet catching on the particularly thick branches. Pretty sure he walked through a spider web at some point. Good thing Sanji was drugged up, otherwise, he would've had a heart attack.

" I know there's somethin' 'omewhere."

"Huh?" Usopp drawled.

Sanji finally looked at him, though it was a glance over his shoulder. "Shitty store won' let us in, so we'll 'atch our own food."

Sober Usopp didn't think that was a good idea, considering the loud booms and high-pitched screams coming from town. Inebriated Usopp apparently, had a mind set closer to the monster trio (a completely terrifying realization) and merely shrugged.

"Okay. Captain Usopp is righ' 'ere ta help ya! Fear not!"

If Sanji heard he gave no sign of it. Guess his mind had settled on the task 'gather food.'

Usopp was starting to put the pieces together. Earlier, when he'd tried remembering 'the great destroyer of mountains,' he'd only been able to conjure images of a darkened forest. Now, he understood why. Him and Sanji must've been wandering around for an hour or two, and if his instincts were correct, eventually they'd—

 _ **KA-BOOM!**_

"Wha' the shit?"

A tree promptly smacked into the ground inches from them, bark releasing a sickening _crrk!_

"W-Woah!" Usopp yelped, trying to stumble backward but only succeeding in tripping over a gnarled root. Right in time too, considering a blur of red proceeded to shoot through the air he'd once occupied.

Holy shit. Was that Luffy!?

A crash sounded behind him, then another, then another.

The bushes in front of him erupted, another figure dashing out, two swords in their hands, one in their mouth.

"Mosshead?"

"What the—? Shit cook, Usopp? What're you guys doing out here?"

"...Zoro?"

"Huh? You guys look weird. Wait, don't tell me you actually got—"

"TAKE THIS!"

Usopp had no idea who shouted what, but at that moment, both Sanji and Luffy sprung for Zoro, Sanji's shoe slamming into his swords, Luffy's fist slipping right passed and connecting with his jaw. Zoro flew back, soon followed by several crashing sounds.

Sober Usopp cringed, but the Usopp from last night rushed forward, planting himself between them and clumsily latching onto Luffy's shoulders.

"H-Hold on a sec 'uffy! No need ta fight!" A pause, then, "Food! We're gettin' food!"

Though Luffy's face was a blur, he could picture him blinking owlishly. "Food?"

His line of sight bobbed rapidly. Must've been nodding. "Huntin'."

Another drawn out pause.

"Okay. I'll 'elp."

His vision moved up and down again, then he slung an arm around Luffy's neck.

"Lez' go!"

"Damnit mosshead, figh' me for real!"

"Sanji! C'mon!"

The cook halted in his assault on an innocent patch of shrubs. "Huh?"

"FOOOOD!" Luffy cheered, throwing his arms up and in turn, uppercutting Usopp.

* * *

Usopp backed away with a pained hiss. Chopper shot him a questioning look from where he was lifting Luffy out of the crater, but before he could ask, several shapes exploded from the bushes around them. Chipmunks, squirrels, wolves, practically every animal without wings had come, snapping to attention with their paws raised in what must've been salutes. Voices followed, and he got the feeling they were reporting something, though he couldn't tell what. His mind blanched once more as a migraine pierced his skull, hot and painful as a knife dipped in fire. When the speckles in his eyes finally cleared, and he felt well enough to risk looking up, the animals were staring at Luffy's limp form with wide, terrified eyes. More was said, but Usopp didn't get the chance to catch it before he drifted away again.

* * *

"Loo' at all the meat!" Luffy exclaimed, drool gushing from his mouth like a waterfall.

About a yard away, a pile of animals were cowering against a mountainside, injured wolves scattered here and there. Luffy tromped forward, spinning his fist in a manner that practically oozed violence.

Usopp didn't like where this was going. That feeling only intensified when he spotted the tiger pushing itself up on shaky legs. Even with his blurry vision, he could make out several bumps and scratches beneath its pelt. Tiger looked like he'd been in the fight of its life, and if he was gauging the situation correctly; it had.

Said tiger gave a fearsome roar, to which Luffy responded by quickening his pace, arm drawn back for a punch.

"Take this meat!"

His arm shot forward like a bullet from a chamber, arching nearer and nearer to the tiger while the animals surrounding them released a mixture of horrified squawks and roars. In the same instant Usopp became convinced the tiger was done for, a blur of yellow shot passed him, leaping into the air and smashing its heel into Luffy's head.

"ENOUGH!"

For once, the Usopp from last night and the one from now were on the same page, mouths falling open, eyes bugging. Had... Had Sanji just defended the animals from Luffy!?

"You barbaric oaf!" Sanji went on, swaying in place as he fought to light a cigarette. After another moment of this, he gave up in favor of jabbing the lighter in the direction of the animals. "Cant'chu see!? Ya can't jus' eat 'em!"

Usopp leaned closer, tears pricking in his eyes. That was Sanji for you! The guy with a heart of—

"You have'ta lemme cook 'em first!"

— _solid ice!_

"I don' have time fo' that!" Luffy yelled, huffing and charging Sanji like a bull would a red flag.

Sanji clucked his tongue and shifted to face him. "Have it ya'r way, Captain! I'll kick ya'r ass first!"

* * *

The sound of wailing brought him back. A pit settling in his stomach, he craned his neck to find the animals sobbing, heads thrown back, chests heaving. Chopper looked back and forth between them, the most visibly uncomfortable Usopp had seen him—and that said something. He could understand. He doubted what they were saying was anything gratifying, considering their 'leader' had not only wanted to turn them into a stew last night but was also helping 'the great destroyer of mountains' they were so afraid of.

"T-They said," Chopper began, and Usopp prepared himself for the fallout.

"'Even helping your enemy after defeat, you truly are a kind, benevolent ruler! We'll never forget your noble teachings!'"

Usopp, thanks to the many insane situations he'd been in since joining this crew, managed not to fall flat on his face. Had they just upgraded Sanji to freaking king status!? He tried to cook them! Took them to a parlor and everything!

Sanji was staring at them, expression carefully blank as they smothered him with praise and promises to serve him for life. Usopp narrowed his eyes, successfully causing the blond's forehead to bead with sweat.

"You knew all along, didn't you?" He muttered, closing the gap between them.

"I don't know what you mean, Usopp." Sanji retorted, suddenly very interested in the unlit cigarette pinned between his index and thumb.

"You soulless monster."

"What are you guys talking about?"

Usopp jumped, as did Sanji, both of their heads snapping to Chopper, who was peering at them curiously from Luffy's side.

"Nothing."

"Nope, nothing."

If the animals perfectly capable of tearing him limb from limb still hadn't figured out Sanji hadn't intended to save them, he wouldn't be the one to break the news.

"How's Luffy?" Sanji asked, strolling closer in a way that was so forcefully casual it was obvious.

Literally, no one besides for Chopper and this army of buffoons would've fallen for that. Usopp waited a beat, then followed.

"He's fine by the looks of it. Just asleep." Chopper reported hooves pressing along Luffy's torso.

Probably testing for fractures, though it must've been sheerly out of habit, seeing as Luffy can't _have_ fractures. Perks of being made of rubber.

Sanji hummed vaguely, "That so?"

Usopp frowned at the drool sliding down Luffy's chin. What would Luffy do if he woke up right now? Would he try to eat them again?

On cue, a loud grumble came from the bottomless pit Luffy called a stomach, causing several of the animals to leap away with startled yelps.

"Luffy," Chopper said, giving his shoulder a shake. "Wake up!"

"Maybe we should—" Usopp started to protest, but his throat locked up at the sight of his Captain's eyes already popping open.

"I'M AWAKE!" He announced, sitting up at the speed of light and tossing his arms above his head.

"We see that dumbass," Sanji muttered with a not-so-friendly scowl.

Luffy stared at him blankly for a moment, then he noticed the animals and began drooling again. "Meeeeat."

As if they hadn't been antsy enough already. Usopp mulled over some way to convince Luffy to drop it for once. Sure, Usopp got he was hungry, and he couldn't say he wasn't tempted to have a certain tiger roasted, but the idea of eating them after everything they'd been doing to help felt wrong.

All right, maybe if he made up some heroic tale about dragons and—

"We're not eating these ones," Sanji said, short, simple.

"Aww, why not?" Luffy whined, giving a pair of monkeys a gluttonous stare. Another sliver of drool rolled down his chin, and the monkeys leapt backward with startled cries. "Well," A long sigh. "Okay, that's fine I guess."

Sanji nodded, "I'll cook you up something once were back on the Sunny. Any preferences?"

"Meat!"

Why did Usopp even bother? Anyways, now that _that_ particular crisis had been averted, they should really figure out what happened to Zoro. Oh, and Nami too, they still hadn't found her, had they? Usopp snickered to himself. Knowing her, she'd probably robbed the whole town blind!

"Hey, why are we in the middle of a jungle?" Luffy asked, taking in their surroundings with dull interest.

Usopp choked, "Did you seriously just notice that!?"

While Chopper went on to explain, Usopp wandered off, picking around the makeshift clearing. He doubted Nami was anywhere near this forest, but maybe if he poked around a bit he could find Zoro? Well, under the assumption Zoro hadn't managed to end up on an entirely different island. Not like he hadn't done it before, and he'd been sober that time.

"Maybe the idiot moss went and attached himself to a tree somewhere?" Sanji suggested, frowning at the distant treeline.

Somewhere nearby, Luffy exclaimed, "Oh, so it's a mystery then!"

A frustrated groan followed.

"Maybe he wandered onto Raftel and found the one piece?" Usopp joked, batting aside a couple branches to peer behind them.

Sanji actually snorted at that, "Can't say that'd surprise me."

"I dunno, I'd be a bit surprised."

In the span of a second, Usopp's heart stopped beating, restarted itself, then skipped into overdrive. "Z-Zoro!?"

The swordsman had snuck up behind them, arms tucked over his chest, head tilted back. Though he was covered from head to toe in scratches and mud, he still managed to look intimidating somehow. There were even a few branches sticking out of his hair. Usopp should ask Zoro how he does that one day.

"Oh, there you are. Finally pick your way out of whatever cave you settled in last night?"

"Hah? Better than whatever ditch you found your way into I bet."

"What was that!?"

"Oi, c'mon guys, this isn't the time for that!" Usopp protested.

If they heard, they ignored him.

Thumbing a sword out of its sheath, Zoro growled, "I still owe you one for last night, cook."

Scoffing, Sanji lifted a foot off the ground. "You think you _can_ pay me back, marimo!?"

"OH, THAT'S RIGHT!" A yell from Luffy succeeded in shattering the tension entirely.

Blinking, the trio turned to him, watching as he hopped to his feet.

"I felt funny after drinking that stuff, then when I went outside to walk it off, I got really hungry, so Franky went to get me food! Then, that nice guy came over and started talking to me, and he was super cool!" And with that, all of the light in Luffy's eyes vanished, replaced by a dark glare. "Then Zoro beat him up."

In sync, Usopp and Sanji frowned at Zoro, who clucked his tongue and started forward.

"Luffy, that guy wasn't your friend, he was a bounty hunter. He drugged the lot of you in hopes of taking us out while we were weakened and turning us in for our bounties."

"You say it like you weren't drugged too," Sanji retorted.

"That's 'cuz I wasn't," Zoro answered bluntly. "If you guys didn't notice then it's your own damn faults."

It took all of Usopp's strength to keep Sanji from attacking him right then and there.

"Anyways," He went on, planting a hand on Luffy's head. "I figured he wouldn't be able to resist the both of us, so it was all a matter of taking it somewhere secluded."

An image of the demolished block flashed through his mind, and he considered mentioning it. But, then again, that was probably more Luffy's fault than anything.

"Woah, Zoro, you're so cool!" Chopper squeaked, while Luffy's glare vanished like it'd never been there to start with.

"Oh! I get it now! Sorry, Zoro!"

Zoro exhaled, "S'fine Captain. No trouble at all."

"So, wait," Usopp spoke up, "You spent all of last night trying to reign in Luffy?"

He gave a one-shouldered shrug. "Until you two showed up and dragged him off somewhere. Then I just went to sleep." He stopped, gaze settling on something off to the side. "What's with the tiger?"

Usopp scowled at the general, who flicked an ear in offhanded acknowledgment.

"You know, I heard if you play dead—"

Sanji snorted, "Dumbass. You'd have to be brain dead to think that'd actually work."

Usopp just stared at him for a really long time.

"Where're Nami and the others?" Luffy asked, tone gaining an edge to it.

"Franky, Robin-chwan and Brook are back in town, and as for Nami-swan..." Sanji's frown deepened.

Usopp was about to tell him about the robot when a badger lumbered out of the crowd, the general at his heels.

Chopper looked back and forth between them, tipped his head, then strolled closer. "They said there's a report they wanna give you."

Crossing his arms, Sanji turned to face them, "Okay, let's hear it."

Bowing his head respectfully, the general released a low rumble.

Chopper blinked, eyes going wide. "A-Ah, they said, 'my men meant to report this earlier, but the presence of the 'great destroyer' threw them for a loop. The lil' missy from the bounty poster was spotted in town square, lying atop a Berry hill.'"

A berry hill? An image of a hill covered in blueberries popped into his mind. Wonder what that looked like?

"'Now, all of you, for your negligence I want you to drop down and give me fifty!'" Chopper paused, moving to rub his neck sheepishly, "Oh, I guess I didn't have to translate that last part."

"YOU FOUND NAMI-SWAN!?" Sanji roared, bursting into flames all over again.

Luffy only smiled wider. "Ah, that's good!"

While Sanji spoke with the general, Usopp walked over to Zoro, who was scowling at the animals doing push-ups off to the side.

"An army of animals?" He scoffed, "The hell are they taking order from shit-cook for?"

Shaking his head, Usopp planted a hand on his shoulder. "That my friend is a long story. I'll tell you all about it once we're back on the Sunny!"

"What the hell are we waiting for!? Take me to her! Ah, Nami-swan, she must be crying from loneliness right now! Have no fear, my love, your knight in shining armor is on his way!"

Zoro snorted, "What armor?"

"Shut up!"

On that note, Sanji tore off in the direction of town, the general and a pair of badgers a step ahead. For a moment, they just stared after him. Then, Luffy gave a thoughtful hum and strode forward.

"I wonder what Nami's been up to? She better not have had any super cool adventure without me!"

For some reason, Usopp doubted that would be a problem.

By the time they'd caught up, Sanji had already woken Nami, both crouching in the middle of the street, Nami with Sanji's jacket draped over her shoulders. The general had settled several paces away with his tail tucked neatly over his paws and the badgers standing firm at either side. Sanji must've told them to hang back or something.

Usopp was so distracted by them, he didn't notice it until Chopper practically choked on air.

"WHAAAAT!?"

"Huh, Chopper, wha—HUH!?"

"I-Is that?"

"Damn witch."

A _literal_ hill of Berry towered over the duo, and not the edible kind. There was even gold mixed in with the clump, reflecting rays of sunlight right into his eyes. Suddenly, his joke from earlier didn't seem as funny.

"Oh my god, she actually robbed the entire town," Usopp said, dimly aware he was speaking at all.

With a whoop, Luffy skipped forward. "Look at all the gold!"

"I didn't rob the entire town!" Nami snapped, any trace of exhaustion vanishing in place of annoyance.

Usopp might've argued that, if Zoro hadn't knelt in front of the pile, retrieving a wad of Berry and turning it over.

"She's right. This isn't from any civilians, that's for sure."

Usopp allowed himself to heave a relieved sigh. Oh, good. He really didn't want to be chased out of town with pitchforks again.

"That's a relief," Chopper grinned, echoing the sentiment.

"This is from the local mafia."

"WHAT!?" Chopper and Usopp yelled, while Luffy simply tipped his head to the side.

"What's a 'mafia?'"

Zoro held it out, gesturing to the binding holding the stack together. In the center was the symbol of a two-headed ram.

"Seen this symbol before while I was still working as a bounty hunter. It was on one of the posters."

Slowly, Usopp turned to Nami, who was staring up at them with her arms crossed defiantly. When she realized she'd become the center of attention, the look vanished without a trace, instead, replaced by wide-eyed innocence.

"It's not my fault. I was drugged like the rest of you."

In sync, everyone minus Sanji waved their hands dismissively. "No. No way."

Said cook leaped to his feet at that, "You bastards, if she said she was drugged then she was drugged, damn it!"

"Enough talk," Nami said, voice cracking over them like a whip, "I want all of this transported to the Sunny pronto, and if I notice even one, single crisp Berry or gold coin missing, well..." She looked pointedly at Sanji. "Sic 'em."

"Anything for you my love!" Sanji cheered, cigarette smoke shaping into hearts.

The exchange seemed kind of familiar to Usopp, but he couldn't place why.

"Need a hand?"

"Robin!" Luffy exclaimed, all interest in the Berry gone just like that.

"Captain," She greeted, tone an octave warmer.

Usopp released the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. "That's right, with you here, carrying all of this will be a lot easier!"

Chopper brightened, "Ah! That's right! Thanks, Robin!"

With a nod, she crossed her arms, opening her mouth to speak, but before she could, a bunch of screaming in the distance stopped her.

That's when Usopp noticed something.

"Hey," He asked, "Where are Franky and Brook at?"

It was all downhill from there. Brook and Franky exploded around the corner, a certain robot being carried between them, which wouldn't have been the strangest thing he'd seen all day if a giant mob hadn't proceeded to chase after them. Pitchforks held over their heads, along with torches and spears, it was like something out of the stories Robin read to them sometimes.

"GET 'EM!" The guy who must've been the mob's leader yelled. Then, his gaze snapped to Robin, skin going pale as snow. "I-It's her! That's the girl who kept attacking people for having similar clothes as hers!"

"Ah," Robin said, palm moving to her chin, "So all of it wasn't barbecue sauce after all, it seems."

Usopp felt sick to his stomach.

"TAKE 'EM OUT!"

"You know," Usopp said, oddly calm despite the chaos. "This may be the first time we've been driven out for actually plundering stuff."

Sanji frowned, "Well now that you mention it..."

"Speak for yourselves," Nami shot back.

"I've been driven out plenty," Zoro put in.

"Please stop talking."

Luffy just laughed.

" _HOLD IT!"_ A voice boomed over the block, momentarily freezing everyone in place.

Off to the side, a band of men in suits had gathered behind a woman with what had to be the biggest cigar he'd ever seen. A bit of shuffling, then a lanky guy with a giant lump on his head pushed his way through the crowd, jabbing a finger at none other than Nami.

"That's 'er boss! That's the lil' girlie that tricked me!"

"And," The boss growled darkly, "Dat's _my_ Berry."

Nami gulped, "Oops."

"Take 'em down, boys!"

Usopp remained rigid, watching as the general roared, summoning legions of animals from seemingly nowhere as he rushed the mafia, probably saying something along the lines of: "We'll fight these dirtbags beside you leader!" The monster trio wasn't far behind, Sanji torn between hurling curses at them for 'daring to threaten his Nami-swan' and fawning over the boss lady, Luffy and Zoro just looking for a fight.

"Get that raccoon dog! He wrecked my brother's store!" One of the villagers yowled, to which Chopper responded by switching into his heavy point.

"I'm a reindeer, darn it!"

Explosions, screams, Nami and Robin carting off the Berry, Brook chasing people around with his soul hanging out while Franky struggled to keep his killer robot under control, and yet, none of that was the craziest thing happening. No, the craziest thing was that Usopp watched this, watched his friends wreak havoc, the animals fight like trained militia, their enemies hurling insults, and despite all of this, all of the insanity, he actually _smiled._

"It's good to be back," He said, and for once, he meant every word.

* * *

 **A/N: I FINALLY FINISHED! I'M FREE! Ahh, in light of these past three chapters, I'm pretty sure I've discovered I have some serious commitment issues going on. Anyways, just lemme know if I left any loose ends, and I'll see if I can wrap them up!**


	28. First Impressions Are Usually Wrong

At first, Nami thought Luffy was a gullible moron. How could she not? He was always so quick to trust in her, smiles coming with ease and sincerity, guard dropped to such an extent, he'd dozed off in her presence a countless number of times in the span of a single week. A week! Honestly! Who does that!?

She could've robbed those boys blind time and time again, leaving them with nothing but the clothes on their backs (ironically, the only things they'd owned when she'd first met them). If it weren't for the eye that swordsman always seemed to have on her, she probably would've. Not that she was overly concerned. The guy was the out-for-himself type, she could tell already. He'd leave eventually, and as for Luffy, ha, he was a gullible moron! She could trick him into doing practically anything for her!

Except, he wasn't and she couldn't. She'd been wrong. So wrong.

It had only taken the briefest of glances for him to see right through the mask she'd spent years cultivating. She'd tried, tried to convince him she was scum, tried to threaten and drive him off, but he just wouldn't listen. It didn't matter what she did, the tactics that had fooled more people than she could ever care to count had no effect on Luffy. He pushed and pushed until she had no choice but to show her true nature, and when she did, he'd accepted her without hesitation; like he'd known all along and had just been waiting.

Watching the smoke settle around Arlong Park, she reflected, Luffy was a moron all right, just not the kind she'd expected. He was the idiot who believed in people, who recognized their faults and had faith in them anyways. Really, the biggest kind of fool.

Smiling through her tears, she strode forward, planting the hat he treasured more than anything atop his head. But, she didn't hate fools like that.

* * *

She used to think Zoro was nothing more than a lazy drunk with a crazy amount of brute strength. The fact they didn't have a ship he could practice on may have contributed to this belief, seeing as not long after they'd gotten the Merry and left Arlong Park in their dust, it was shattered. Zoro trained practically every second of every day, lifting weights that by all means had the ability to sink the ship on which they stood. He practiced through the morning and all through the night, only stopping to eat, meditate, drink booze, or crash somewhere on deck.

As for his alcohol intake, despite the amount she'd seen him chug in a single sitting, strangely enough, she'd never actually seen him drunk before. She was beginning to think he was somehow immune. Wouldn't surprise her; guy was a monster, after all.

Still, she couldn't help the respect budding in her chest. By nature, Zoro wasn't much of a team player, but he did try, which was pretty admirable in its own right. Not that she'd ever tell him that.

One of these days, she'd have to remember to challenge him to a drinking contest.

* * *

She didn't think much of Usopp, besides that he was a coward and a weakling to boot. Even after the way those kids spoke of him, voices overflowing with warmth and devotion, eyes sparkling in wonder, she couldn't say her overall impression changed much. Children were impressionable, after all.

It wasn't until he rose on shaky legs, declaring he'd defend his village by himself, that she reevaluated. Being able to charge into a fight without fear was a respectable quality (albeit a frustrating one), but standing your ground when you were absolutely terrified was even more so. It took guts and seeing how the boy could barely remain standing through his shivering, yet still insisted on protecting his village, the same village that had ostracized him as a liar and ignored his warnings, she couldn't help but smile. All right then.

Zoro sighed despite the smirk curving his lips. "So, you plan to fight alone, huh?"

"We'll help," Luffy said, echoing her thoughts perfectly.

"But," Nami couldn't resist putting in. "Any treasure we find will be mine!"

After all, she had a village of her own to save.

* * *

Her first impression of Sanji was as follows: easy-to-use pervert. When she'd met him aboard the Baratie, she hadn't expected him to join. Why would she? For some reason or another, Luffy seemed dead set on befriending the guy, but as far as she could tell he was just a cook. Didn't even do a good job on the waiting part, usually stirring up trouble with any of the male customers, a certain green-haired swordsman in particular.

After Arlong Park, her opinion didn't shift much, though, as they went on, she noticed he was easier to take advantage of than she'd initially expected, and not just by women. Guy had to have the biggest heart she'd ever had the pleasure of seeing. All it took to make him drop his guard was a hungry person. It was stupid, really, but she couldn't bring herself to hate that side of him.

Seeing him lying on the ground, still under the effect of some strange devil fruit power, she came to a decision. He was a pervert, all right, and easy to manipulate, but anyone who took advantage of that to hurt him would become well acquainted with the end of her Clima-Tact!

* * *

She liked Chopper right off the bat. What could she say? Kid was sweet, plus, they _had_ needed a doctor at the time. Doctorine was out of the question—she'd probably skewer the boys before a week had passed—and, hey, he wasn't a bad choice. Shy, endearingly naive yet not ignorant, not to mention suffering from a severe case of wanderlust, if his enquiries about Pirates were anything to go by.

When Luffy decided Chopper would join them, Nami was relieved. Didn't bother getting too involved. Didn't have to. If her captain said you were a Strawhat, you were a Strawhat, end of story. It was all a matter of waiting.

The young doctor didn't disappoint, racing to them with a hailstorm of knives and spears at his heels, and a tenderly packed bag awaiting him in the sled.

* * *

She didn't trust Robin. Not only had they been enemies no more than a day ago, but the woman was an assassin for pete's sake! How could she trust someone like that!? Then, Robin gave her that incredible bag of treasure, and, hey, anyone who gave her treasure couldn't be that bad, right!? Right!

Well, that, and Robin turned out to be surprisingly gentle for someone who could easily snap her neck. Softspoken, brimming with intelligence, Nami's instincts kicked in, trusting her all on their own. She was kind of like a mother, or, at the very least, an older sister. Two things Nami missed having.

She quickly filled the gap Vivi had left behind, more than that, Robin made a place of her very own aboard their tiny ship. Any remaining doubt was swept away when Robin proved she was not only willing to die for them, but she was willing to live for them as well. Two things she knew from experience weren't easy to do. After the curtains had fallen on Enies Lobby, Nami could say with confidence there were few people she trusted more.

* * *

She'd hated Franky. After what he did to Usopp? No way she could like him. She blamed him for everything that transpired; losing the Merry, Luffy and Usopp's fight, Usopp leaving the crew. Of course, in the back of her mind, she recognized all of those things had been a long time coming. Franky had merely been the catalyst. At the same time, however, she needed something to blame, and Franky, alongside CP9, fit the bill perfectly.

Maybe, that was why seeing him burn the blueprints to Pluton eased some of the bitterness? Anyone willing to shove it to CP9 like that couldn't be that bad, right? Not to mention, he'd protected Robin when they'd been unable to. For that if nothing else, he'd earned himself a clean slate. She'd gotten one, so why couldn't he? Despite that, she couldn't bring herself to fully drop the grudge until Usopp returned to his rightful place by their sides.

As time went on, she discovered Franky was a hurricane of a man. Everywhere he went was loud and usually filled with either music or explosions by the time he flittered out. He fit like a gear that had been misplaced until now, working seamlessly alongside the rest of them, even Usopp. And, if his bikini-wearing habits ended up rubbing off on her, well, she wasn't complaining.

* * *

Brook had both annoyed and terrified her exponentially. On one hand, he was a perverted old man, on the other, he was a _living skeleton._ She should have known Luffy would invite him to join, seriously, Luffy seemed to have a thing for collecting weirdos. Her opinion of the musician remained more or less the same, resulting in near heart attacks within the first couple days after he joined. Didn't last long, though, her annoyance far outweighing the fear, and before long, she didn't even bat an eyelash at his skeletal appearance. Besides for his... eccentricities, he wasn't that bad, either. The music he played was nothing short of incredible, and he turned out to be surprisingly wise when he wasn't goofing off. He hadn't been with them for long before they split up, but he was just as much a Strawhat as the rest of them. She hoped one day he would realize this as well.

* * *

 **A/N: just something short to follow up that monster of a story**


	29. Beauty Is In The Eye of the Archaelogist

**A/N: So, I was sifting through the Alabasta arc and had a few thoughts about Robin... Anyways, after writing this I've decided she's earned the title of tragedy child, tho she honestly did before this, her childhood was awful**

* * *

The first time it happened, she was eleven. She'd been staying with a Pirate crew for about a week, having received lodging via a promise to handle the chore-work, and a delusion she was much stronger than she was. Although she hated the Marines for accusing her of crimes she didn't commit, she'd been able to make good use of the claims thus far. Most of the criminal organization she'd approached had been more than glad to take her under their wings, earnestly believing she, a child, was capable of taking down several Marine battleships.

She never stayed long, however.

The World Government would find her, or her 'employers' would allow greed for her Bounty to sway them. That's why, although she'd heard of her employers doing terrible things, had distantly noted them, she'd never actually seen it before. Had never been close enough to reach out to stop them, had never had to look a sorry victim in the eyes and refuse to help.

To think, it all started with an accident. Not the kind that resulted in injuries or ravaged buildings, but the kind that happened every day. A kid chased after a ball, too concerned over losing it to watch where he was going.

He slammed into her current Captain's leg with enough force to nearly unbalance him, yet, Robin still didn't expect what followed. How could she? Most of the adults in Ohara had treated her like a social pariah but they'd always been kind to the normal children.

She didn't understand what was happening, just that her Captain began cursing and yelling, as he was prone to do whenever an underling was misbehaving.

He jerked his arm, an open palm smacking into the boy's head with enough force to knock him off his feet. After that, he began to stomp on him.

Robin stared, blood going cold, feet cementing in place, even as the boy's father rushed over, trying to intervene. A gunshot split the air. The father fell to the concrete, a red spot forming on his shoulder.

Several screams rang in her ears, along with more gunshots, all the while she remained stoic. A part of her cried she had to stop him, _knew_ she could do it. She may not be an adult, but she had devil fruit powers. If she used them to snatch the gun...

With a heavy weight in her chest, she tore her gaze away. No. If she got trapped here, the Government would find her for sure. She had to endure this for her dream, for the dreams of her mother, as well as the archaeologists!

Laughing, her Captain finally relented, twirling the pistol until the hilt was facing her and lowering it into her reach. "'Ere Robin, hold this for me, will ya? I gotta lesson ta teach these scum."

On that note, he drew a sword with his other hand. Robin stared, the world beginning to spin, yet she reached out, fingers coiling around the handle.

"Thatt'a girl."

That afternoon became a bloodbath, not unlike Ohara.

* * *

The second time, she was fourteen, and her crew had kidnapped a young mink, planning to sell it once they arrived in Sabaody Archipelago. They kept it locked in the cellar below deck, assigning her to manage the food and cleaning. She wasn't supposed to speak with the prisoner, nor acknowledge it in any way besides discipline, however, that seemed over the top to her.

She spoke with the wolf-like mink, learning he was a male of twelve years, and reading him books whenever she was certain no one would overhear. Since she couldn't let him out, the least she could do was keep him entertained.

She was a bystander in this. If she believed that, she could ignore everything, the needless cruelties, the victims she should be harming as they escaped.

That's why after a particularly gruesome storm, she didn't see the mink slip out through a hole in the side of the ship. She didn't see a thing.

* * *

The third time, she was forced to do it herself. Her Captain at the time was the kind of person that preferred not to get his hands dirty, ordering his crew to carry out his twisted whims instead. She found this cowardly, though she'd never admit it aloud.

They'd just defeated another crew, stealing all their food and water, leaving them with nothing besides a damaged ship and the shirts on their backs. That hadn't been enough to satisfy her Captain.

"Robin, we should make an example out of him, don't you think?"

She tracked his gaze to the enemies Captain, who was being forced to kneel on the deck, beaten and bleeding. This was an unnecessary action, yet, she forced a smile to spread across her lips, tilting her chin up in an arrogant manner.

"Why, I would think so, Captain."

He smirked, copying her posture, "Well, why don't you go right on ahead then?"

"Huh?" The words escaped before she could stop them.

He didn't bat an eyelash. "Snap his neck with those powers of yours."

Her stomach churned, though her tone remained passive, "As you wish."

She strode closer with confidence, faked pleasure at the crew's furious wails, reminding herself she was merely a bystander, even while acting, she wasn't a part of this.

This time, she couldn't quite believe it.

* * *

Robin hadn't been with the Strawhats long when it happened. The long-nosed sniper had been attempting to snatch a loaf of bread from their Captain in retaliation to a stolen apple—an action she already found hard to believe—when he overreached, accidentally knocking the entire plate onto the floor.

For a moment, everything was silent, the normally loud Captain staring at the scattered food, the rest looking on in shock. She prepared herself for the violence that would ensue, for the good-natured sniper to be beat, or worse, tossed off the ship. She'd seen worse happen for less.

In a blur of movement, the Captain slid from his seat, stooping over his fallen plate, an action she rationalized as him intending to throw it at the sniper, picking it up in his hands, then... eating the food off the floor?

"F'his is so good, Sanji! Even when'f it's all dirty!"

Robin was equal parts stunned and fascinated.

"Luffy!" the navigator cried, while the cook cussed at the sniper, threatening to 'kick his ass from here to the Red Line if he ever did that again,' something the sniper seemed to believe if his paling skin was any indicator.

Despite this, despite the unbelievable scene she'd just witnessed, despite the navigator's annoyance, the cook's anger, the sniper's fear, she found a smile curving her lips, one she had neither forced nor noticed until the swordsman glanced at her, mouth also quirking into a lopsided grin.

A moment later, the reindeer was snickering, and she joined in, warranting a betrayed look from the navigator.

"Robin!" she whined, "You're supposed to be on my side! Tell him that eating off the floor is both vulgar and disgusting!"

Robin blinked, increased her smile, then continued eating, "I do not see anything wrong with it, Navigator-san."

"What!?"

At that, the swordsman burst out laughing, head thrown back in merriment, much to the navigator's ire. Palms were slammed onto the table, crewmates threatened, the cook attacked the swordsman, all the while the Captain proceeded to eat everything off the table rather than stopping them, including the spoon Robin had been seconds away from putting in her mouth.

Never in her life had she seen anything like that, and she worried the spoon would lodge itself in his throat, choking him to death. She voiced this, startling the reindeer into action as he raced to their Captain, fretting over asphyxiation and medicine for hopeless idiots.

Truly, this crew was a disaster.

Robin felt something unfamiliar bubbling in her chest at the thought, and before she knew it, she was muffling another laugh into her palm. She knew she'd have to leave one day, knew they'd come to hate her otherwise, but if she could stay with them just a while longer... She couldn't ask for anything more than that.

Closing her eyes, she allowed the yelling and laughter to sweep over her, making her feel a little less empty.

Just a while longer.


	30. Kaya's Sickness

Usopp didn't know much about Kaya's illness, just that no one seemed to understand what it was or how to cure it. Kind of like the sickness his mom had come down with shortly after his dad left. A lot of the villagers claimed the stress of raising Usopp by herself had played a large part in it, but so far, nobody could prove anything, not even the Doctors. It always ended the same no matter how many times they examined her. Without fail, after every appointment they'd claim her ailment was from a weak heart, would claim she'd be fine as long as she didn't strain herself. And yet, he couldn't help noticing how unsure the Doctor's had seemed, as if the criteria didn't quite match, but they were unable to think of any other explanations.

Usopp had soaked this knowledge in like a dry sponge, like a child desperate for answers, desperate for a cure. Syrup Village didn't have a vast abundance of Doctors, being such a small island, but that hadn't stopped Usopp from insisting his mom get checked out by every single one they did have. It was always the same. It was always wrong.

He'd tried telling them, tried explaining her symptoms, how it couldn't be something as simple as a weak heart. Told them how she used to be so energetic, running around with him and his dad, told them of her love for practical jokes, how she'd always make up silly stories for him before bed, stories he knew weren't true but loved anyways. How everything had ended after his dad left, how she'd stopped knitting and humming over meals, had stopped cooking altogether, treating the tasks she'd once enjoyed like a burden. Never had the energy to play tricks on people, never told him stories anymore, asleep by the time he rolled in, even if the sun was still hanging overhead.

Each time, the Doctors would listen with pitying eyes, not taking him seriously and he _knew,_ and it was frustrating, and he didn't know what to do, didn't know how to fix this!

Usopp wasn't an expert on healthcare, he'd never been sick, never been around an ill person until recently, but he knew in his bones being born with a weak heart wasn't the issue. His mom had never been this listless.

He couldn't help cursing himself for how complacent he'd been in the beginning, for how he'd never questioned the absence of meals, simply making himself sandwiches or eating berries he'd found in the forest. How he'd never asked if she was eating, if she was okay, never questioned why she didn't go outside anymore, why she'd never wanted to play. He'd wanted to be strong for her, had wanted to be a man. Had reasoned a Pirate needed to be able to do these things, had told his mom the same with a tinge of pride she didn't reflect, only staring at him with a deep sadness in her eyes, a sadness that had left him speechless.

Maybe if he'd gotten a Doctor sooner, they could've figured out was really wrong with her, could've saved her, could've—

But it was too late now. She was gone, and he felt almost as tired as she'd been near the end. Didn't want to get out of bed, didn't want to eat, didn't want to do anything. He wondered if her illness was contagious, wondered if he was next. Had considered letting it happen over her grave one cold night, unable to take how quiet the house was without her, how empty it was. Then, he'd remembered his dad, had remembered his dream, and he'd made a vow to never let anyone die such a slow death again, not even himself. Never.

Got his act together, forcing himself to eat, to go outside, to practice with his slingshot until his fingers ached, did everything he could to keep going. Ended up making friends with a few younger children from the village, the first friends he'd ever had. The tiredness never fully vanished, but after that, it'd ebbed to a point he could ignore it entirely, save for a few days.

He heard about Kaya's illness a few weeks later. According to the villagers, she'd come down with it shortly after her parent's death. Like his mom had when dad left like he had when she'd died.

A swirling in his mind, he gave himself a mission that day, a mission he'd carry out no matter what. Help Kaya.

Wasted no time paying her a visit, remembering how lonely _he'd_ been after her funeral, how unimaginably huge his small hut had seemed. He figured it must be worse for Kaya, whose house was much bigger than his own.

He almost got cold feet several times on the trip there, having to stop and remind himself the vow he'd made, fists so tight his knuckles were white, legs quivering like jelly. Had climbed the tree by her windowsill before he knew it before he could stop it, fabricating some lie about a giant goldfish. After all, his mom's silly tales had always cheered him up.

And, as if to prove him right, Kaya had laughed. Usopp had nearly burst with happiness at the sound. Her laugh was beautiful beyond belief.

He returned the next day, then the next, maybe out of loneliness, maybe out of devotion for his newfound friend, he could never figure that part out.

The more he visited, the more he noticed her symptoms were similar to his late mom's. Kaya rarely left her bed yet she always seemed exhausted, the pale skin beneath her eyes purple bags. She didn't brush her hair, rarely changed her pajamas, and whenever he asked her what she did for fun, she simply chuckled beneath her breath, though it was nothing like the usual laughs Usopp loved so much. He decided he didn't like those soft chuckles. Never wanted to hear Kaya make such a self-deprecating sound.

A month or so into knowing her, Kaya admitted to enjoying gardening, however, she'd also mentioned she hadn't done it in a while, her butlers having taken over the vast field of flowers near the front entrance. It'd reminded Usopp of how his mom had stopped knitting, and with a feeling like lead in his chest, he'd set out to do what he wished he'd done back then.

Scoured his Kitchen for a vase, then spent the entire afternoon searching for the prettiest flower he could find. Of course, he didn't know much about flowers aside which were poisonous, but when he'd found a blue one settled atop a tiny hill, he'd taken it without hesitation. Had brought it to her the next morning and she'd smiled, though it'd been the same kind his mom used to give, an emotion he didn't recognize underlying it, one that didn't _seem_ happy.

He'd pretended not to notice. Didn't understand, didn't know how to make her better, and how could he, when even the Doctors had no idea?

He was at a total loss, so he did the only thing he knew how, the only thing he'd been taught: he lied. Kept making her laugh, kept doing all the things he'd wished he'd done for his mom before she'd collapsed that icy Winter day. And oddly enough, it seemed to work.

Kaya started changing her pajamas more, had brushed her hair after he'd told it was the prettiest thing he, the Great Captain Usopp, had ever laid eyes on. She took up painting, showing him her latest creation with the brightest expression he'd seen her wear, and on her bedside, a blooming flower seemed to smile at the two of them, proud in the way it stood up straighter, blue petals glistening with droplets of water.

He was beginning to question if it was truly an illness at all. Or, at least, not the kind that was borne in the body, but rather, a sickness of the spirit, of the heart (and in that way, the Doctors were almost correct with his mom's diagnosis). This revelation made Usopp all the more determined to visit Kaya every day, and one afternoon, he found her waiting on the windowsill, legs dangling outside in the warm Summer air. He couldn't stop smiling for an entire week after that.

When the Strawhat's came, when Klahadore showed his true colors, when Usopp finally left to accomplish his dream, it was under the belief he'd return to her one day, this time, with lots and lots of stories to help her sick heart—stories that were true. There may not be a cure written in stone, may not be any guarantees it would work, that their time apart wouldn't make her worse again, that Klahadore's betrayal wouldn't destroy her, but he believed in Kaya, believed in her strength, and most of all, he knew without a doubt he'd never give up on making her smile again, no matter how many years it took.


	31. Nervous Habits

Luffy would go still. Considering how he normally acted, it was impossible _not_ to notice the days he was stressed or tired from another sleepless night riddled with nightmares. He'd sit somewhere high up with his back to them, staring holes into his treasured hat. Would stay like that for hours, which wasn't Luffy-like at all. Usopp had found it was best to leave Luffy alone on those days, but if he noticed Zoro napping somewhere close by, he wasn't the type to point it out. Well, not in public anyways, teasing Zoro with it was a given.

* * *

Zoro polished his white sword. Without a doubt, his swords were some of the cleanest things aboard the Merry, as Zoro made a point to polish and sharpen them twice a week—even more than Luffy bathed. But on bad days, Zoro would gravitate towards the white one, sometimes polishing it multiple times. Would spend hours on it, slathering it in choji oil, rubbing rice paper from hilt to tip in a sweeping motion that would've likely cost Usopp his hands if he'd tried it.

Zoro was completely dedicated to his swords, Wado Ichimonji particular, and yet, sometimes he'd stop halfway through, staring absently into the metal surface as if gazing at something only he could see. One day, Usopp wanted to ask.

* * *

Nami tended to her orange garden. Whenever they were arguing, or on their way to yet another dangerous situation via Luffy's whims, Nami would leave for a bit, reappearing with her fingers and knees smudged in dirt, occasionally with a few oranges in tow.

Usopp didn't know much about her past outside of Arlong, though he _had_ noticed the abundance of orange trees around her house. Understood she hadn't brought a few with her simply because she loved the flavor. Didn't stop him from trying to snag a few, however. Those things were delicious.

* * *

Sanji stress baked. The more agitated or worried he was, the more likely they were to be surprised with an apple pie or tray of cookies. Usopp got the vibe Sanji was embarrassed by this, seeing as he'd always dish them out with a series of excuses, such as; 'The apples were about to go rotten,' or 'These were for the ladies, but they turned out bad.' The snacks were always delicious, so Usopp wasn't complaining, but the guy couldn't be more obvious despite his attempts to hide it.

As a bowl of ice cream was plopped unceremoniously in front of him with another lie worse than his own, Usopp couldn't help the sigh that escaped. Really, he didn't get how some of the others hadn't noticed.

* * *

Chopper never failed to double check his medical textbooks when mixing concoctions. Then, he tripled checked, then _quadruple_ checked, at his worst, he may even check an additional three. Usopp had once joked the ingredients wouldn't suddenly become poisonous or anything in the timeframe he'd looked away, to which Chopper had flinched in such a manner, Usopp had practically tripped over himself in his attempts to change the subject. He never brought it up again.

* * *

Robin would sometimes laugh to herself in a strange voice. Given, he'd only heard her do it once during a late night trip to the bathroom, he had a feeling that wasn't the only time for her. He'd spotted her standing near the figurehead with her arms wrapped around herself, head bowed as her shoulders shook weakly. Laughing. It had creeped him out at first, but after Enies Lobby, he couldn't help wondering if it had something to do with Ohara. With a person.

Still, confronting her on it seemed wrong—kind of like Nami with her orange trees.

* * *

Franky would draw blueprints. The more stressed he was, the larger and more eccentric the ships would become. This would concern Usopp if Franky didn't proceed to scrap them every time, crumpling them into balls and tossing them in the general direction of the trash bin. Checking out the newest ship, which honestly looked more like the flying horse from Skypiea than a stallion, Usopp couldn't even begin to explain how grateful he was when Franky scrapped it.

* * *

Brook would stand by the railing and hum. Sometimes with tea, sometimes without. Usopp joined him a few times, and the humming would escalate into a song that quickly drew in the others. By the end of it, half the crew would be piled around the railing, screaming at the ocean. That always cheered Brook up. Usopp could never put his finger on why, though, especially since those sessions often ended with them being throttled for making too much noise.

* * *

Usopp, himself, preferred to tinker. Kept his hands moving, kept his mind off things. He knew the consequences of thinking too much. Water Seven had been a prime example of that.

On the days he couldn't stop doubting himself, couldn't stop measuring himself up to the others, he'd hide somewhere quiet and work on upgrades. Sometimes for Nami's Clima-Tact, sometimes for his slingshot, other times, not even for a weapon, but patching up a cracked flower vase for Robin, oiling the wheels on Chopper's chair so it would turn better. He may not be able to fight like the monster trio, but he could make himself useful in different ways. After all, it's not like those three could handle things like this. Just thinking about the results...

Allowing himself a snort of laughter at the image of Luffy and Zoro trying to destroy a leaky faucet while Sanji cussed at it, he returned his attention to the dented hook on their fishing rod. Things like this were a job for the great Captain Usopp!

* * *

 **A/N: Yes, I am extra enough to google sword-care X;D and on another note, I almost added this chapter to Slightly Altered Tale by accident... that one would've been hard to explain**


	32. Cutting Things Isn't Always The Best

**A/N: Man can you believe it's been an entire year since I started this fic? Time really flies. Also, just realized I'd somehow cut out the first paragraph. Oops.**

* * *

Zoro stared at the blankets. He'd been staring for a while. He didn't remember getting here, didn't remember much after escaping that ridiculous wax sculpture. Just knew he'd woken somewhere cold, in a bed swaddled in blankets and bandages, and that there was a strange raccoon thing. It'd been going on and on and on about something but Zoro hadn't been listening. Couldn't care less about it, nor what it had to say. Not when...

He squeezed his eyes shut, giving his head a rough shake to clear it. He didn't have time for this! He had to train. He had to figure out how to _make this work._ He didn't have time to laze around!

With a burst of energy and the resolve of a demon, Zoro tore the covers off and swung his legs over the side of the bed, angled them towards the floor as if he could actually use them, as if what happened had merely been a bad dream—but Zoro wasn't the type for bad dreams, wasn't the type to let his fears and worries fester. He always attacked whatever troubled him head-on, always powered his way through any challenge thrust his way, no matter how difficult.

He threw himself onto the floor, barely computing the dull pain in his arm and shoulder upon impact. If walking was impossible, he'd crawl.

Immediately, the raccoon started screaming something in his ears he couldn't give a damn about, forcing himself to his knees and hands, dragging himself to the door. So what if his feet were gone? So what if he'd been the idiot to do it!? So what if he'd fainted before he could do anything, that Luffy had shown up a second after, that his sacrifice had been in vain. What was done was done! And what was gone—

He pulled himself further, arms quaking from the strain.

—was gone! Thoughts of a small girl and cocky smiles and lives ended far too short only strengthened his resolve. He'd figure out how to fight on his hands and knees if he had to! He was going to be—no, he _had_ to be—

"Chopper, what are ya doin'!? Have ya forgotten everything I've taught ya!? Sedate this moron before he makes his condition worse than it already is!"

"AH! R-Right!"

He had to be—

A pressure on his neck and his body was hitting the floor without his permission.

—the best—

* * *

He spent most of his time in and out of consciousness. When he slept, he dreamed of open fields and colliding swords, of a young girl's smirk and playful jibes, of a hand clasping his own as a promise was made. When he woke, it was never for long, body too hot yet too cold, legs angled weirdly, and no matter how much he kicked and shifted, he couldn't get his feet into a comfortable position. His feet... he couldn't really feel them, but he couldn't figure out why through a head stuffed with swirling cotton.

One time he came to, he could've sworn Luffy was sitting on the side of the bed, back turned to him while he stared at the straw hat in his hands. Another time, cook was leaning against the wall by the headrest, staring blankly at the other side of the room with a cigarette that was more ash than anything. Zoro had grinned and tried to insult him for his lack of observation, only to wake days or hours later, covered in a cold sweat and all alone.

It was then reality truly sunk in. Slowly, he pushed himself upright, ignoring the nausea coiling in his gut as he'd tugged the sheets off, revealing an empty space where his feet should've been. They were gone above the heel, replaced by a roll of bandages that pissed him off for some reason. He glared at them like it was their fault like it was the bandages that'd made the wrong call, that'd crippled him for life and still hadn't been able to do anything in the end. He glared until he couldn't keep himself up anymore, then glared at the ceiling.

Probably would've stayed this way until he passed out again if Luffy hadn't chosen that moment to stroll inside. He lingered by the doorway with a seriousness Zoro rarely saw on him, then, grinned when he noticed Zoro was awake, running and jumping onto the bed with enough force to nearly send Zoro crashing onto the floor.

"Damn it, Luffy!" he snapped without a thought, and Luffy laughed unrepentantly.

Just like normal.

Laying his chin on his arms, Luffy smirked up at him in a way that was reminiscent of the first time they'd met. "You're coming. Right?"

Zoro snorted. Did Luffy really think a tiny set back like this would be enough to stop him? No. That old witch of a Doctor must've prompted this. Luffy knew what he would say, he could see it in his eyes, and Zoro wasn't about to disappoint him.

"Damn right I am."

Luffy's smirk spread wider, "I don't really get it, but Usopp said he'll make you some new feet. Sanji said he'll help too 'cuz he grew up around that legless old guy."

Zoro nodded. He'd expected nothing less. "Good."

"Nami's all better now too, so we're gonna set sail today, but I came to get you first!"

Nami? Zoro raised a brow at his Captain. Luffy understood and sat up, going on to explain how Nami had collapsed while taking care of him and almost died of some 'mystery disease.' He spoke fast and never elaborated on anything, but Zoro had no trouble catching the gist of it. Apparently, both he _and_ Nami had been useless this entire time. The others had had to carry their weight, literally; trekking through the snow with some Dalton guy.

He needed to get stronger. He couldn't leave the crew this vulnerable again. Things would be tough from now on, but hadn't they always been? Feet or no feet, he'd still be the greatest Swordsman. Hearing the unwavering faith in Luffy's voice as he asked if Zoro was ready, he knew he couldn't settle for less. There was no other path for him, no easy way out. And damn, he wouldn't have it any other way.

"You have to ask? Let's get the hell out of here, _Captain."_

* * *

 **A/N: I'm considering making a full AU for this, but I've been so swamped with college idk if** i **can find the time, so if any of you like this idea, feel free to make it your own ~~**


	33. Wanderlust

Luffy hated feeling lonely. Before he'd met his brothers, he'd spent most of his time by himself. Makino was always busy with work, Gramps was always gone, and there weren't any kids his age in Foosha village. He didn't have a dream to strive towards, friends to pester when he got bored, didn't have much of anything, really. Just Makino, and for awhile, that was almost good enough. He could ignore the tug on his feet whenever he stared across the open sea, could fight off the urge to vanish into the forest, to explore every inch of the mountains. He could fight it all and stay inside the bar, kicking his feet in a stool far too tall and drowning his boredom in a glass of orange juice.

Though, he could never quite beat the itchy tingle in his legs whenever he watched a ship set out to sea, could never repress the excitement that bubbled in his chest whenever a sailor sat with him and told stories of the world. The more he heard, the more he began to love this super cool world of his! The more he wanted to see every inch of it, wanted to have his own adventures! But, it was dangerous out there. That's what Makino always said, at least.  
Then he met Shank's and his love for the world was cemented with a dream, and a hat was placed atop his head as a permanent reminder. A reminder of a sacrifice that had taught him the meaning of resolve, of a loyalty that'd shown him what it truly meant to cherish another person, and the drive to accomplish anything.

For the first time in his life, it didn't matter if his wish to leave Foosha was dangerous. Didn't matter that he was sailing alone, nor that his newfound dream was gonna be the hardest adventure he'd ever embarked on. He looked forward to it. He'd die before he gave up, before he returned to the lonely boredom every day had consisted of before meeting Shanks. Hard or not, he couldn't wait to see where his chosen path leads him, couldn't wait for the people he'd meet and the islands he'd see.  
Gazing back at Foosha village, a mere pinprick on the horizon of lapping waves, the longing he'd long grown accustomed to finally faded in place of a contented hum in his veins. _This_ was more than enough.

* * *

 **A/N: Just wanna write smth but can't get motivated enough fml (-.-)**


	34. Assassination is harder than it sounds

**A/N: The more I see of Arlong the more I understand why Nami reacted the way she did during her arc**

* * *

The first time Nami tried to kill Arlong, she was eleven-years-old. It'd left a rotten feeling in her chest, the thought of killing someone, even if that someone was Arlong—but she didn't know what else to do. Things weren't looking up for her, always getting chased by Pirates, always getting injured. She'd had hundreds of close calls and not nearly enough Berry to show for it. Meanwhile, Arlong was tormenting the villagers she loved, was tearing apart her island, her home. She had to _do_ something, even if that something was a cowardly act that would make Bellemere ashamed of her.

So, she'd pocketed the poison her latest targets had bragged about for hours, a packet of poisonous berries that'd been crushed into a powder lethal enough to melt a person's organs. A painful death. Nami wasn't happy with this, nor was she proud. She was desperate, however, and desperation had a way of throwing all morals out the window. She'd learned that during her first 'expedition.'

She kept the poisonous powder tucked safely in the pocket of her ratty cargo shorts, even after having returned to Arlong Park. Waited days, weeks, until Arlong finally dropped his guard, finally let her close. While the Arlong Pirates partied in the courtyard, glasses raised high as they bellowed sea shanties and roughed each other up, she snuck up to Arlong's 'throne' and slipped the powder into his bottle of brandy. His head thrown back in an uproarious laugh, he'd grabbed the bottle by the neck not a second after, and Nami set a world record for backing away.

Watched with bated breath as he raised the bottle, as the tip inched towards his mouth, as he froze. Lowered the bottle.

"That scent..."

She gulped and moved further away, her back nearly touching the wall.

"Nami," he said calmly, so calm in fact, it terrified her more than if he'd yelled.

Then in a burst of sound, he was chucking the bottle onto the concrete, shattering it into a million pieces and catching the attention of his partying crewmates.

Her heart skipped into overdrive, beating so fast and so loud it was all she could hear, all she could process. Oh no. She'd failed!

"You've got guts for a lowly human, I'll give you that." Arlong snarled, "but if you want to kill a fishman like me, you're gonna have to try to do better than that!"

A laugh, that _damn laugh_ she hated more than anything, and then everyone else was laughing too. Laughing at her, the pathetic human. Cheeks flushing, vision blurring with tears, she would've run away if Arlong hadn't spoken up again.

"A good attempt, Nami, but trying to kill your Captain is a punishable offense. An offense normally punishable... by death."

She flinched, flush vanishing along with the blood in her face.  
"But I still have use of you, so I'll let you off the hook with a warning." He nodded at Hatchan. "Lock her in the cartography room for a week without food. I want a whole new batch of maps to compensate for the alcohol she just made me waste."

Hatchan's smile didn't fade in the slightest, "yes, Arlong-san! Come on Nami."

Nami spent the rest of the week drawing map after map until her fingers were raw and sore. A myriad of bandages covered papercuts that still stung, that still dribbled blood, and yet it wasn't enough to drown out the pain in her stomach. She hated this.

* * *

The second time, it was with a pistol she'd taken from an idiotic Marine. She was thirteen. After her last failure, she'd been too terrified to try again, too worried about what he'd do to her, but in the wake of yet another village being torn to the ground, she couldn't sit back any longer. She hadn't waited this time, hoping to catch him by surprise as she charged into Arlong Park, kicking the doors open and firing the entire clip at him. None of them hit. He'd dodged them all, and the only bullet that'd come close was the one currently being crushed between his teeth.

"No way..." she breathed out, the gun sliding from her hands and crashing into the dirt beside her sandaled feet.

She followed suit, knees slamming into the ground as she stared at Arlong, stared at the steaming bullet he spat out of his mouth without an ounce of care.

"A gun, eh?" He sneered with a razor sharp grin. "As if such a puny weapon could be enough to kill me!"

He strolled through the crowd of stunned fishmen, crushing the gun beneath his heel. Laughter. Laughter. Laughter. Laughter. She couldn't take this! She charged out of Arlong Park without a word in her defense. They didn't bother chasing her.

* * *

The third time was another poison about a month later. A poison she made sure had no scent. It cost her five hundred Berry to purchase, all the while she'd been stared at by the other customers like she was crazy. And really, this _was_ crazy. A thirteen-year-old girl buying enough of a scentless poison to drop an elephant. No. Ridiculous. This wasn't crazy, this was _ridiculous._ Her fingers dug into the paper packaging like claws. This had to work.

It didn't. Kuroobi caught her slipping it into Arlong's dinner the next night, and she received the beating of a lifetime.

* * *

The fourth time, she tried slitting his throat while he slept, the fifth time, she tried sneaking up on him after a swim and shooting him with a rifle—a rifle he crushed in a fist faster than she could blink—her sixth attempt she tried tampering with their entire damn water supply but it hadn't had an effect on _any_ of them. It was frustrating. So frustrating, so frustrating!

* * *

When she turned seventeen, she gave up. Arlong was invincible. He'd proven it. Proven it time and time again. No _human_ could kill him, no matter how many ways they tried, no matter how strong they were, no matter how many of them they brought.

As a human, the only thing she could do was gather Berry and have faith he'd keep his end of their deal, and the only thing the villagers could do was obey. It'd be all right though. She was getting better at stealing. Rarely even got hurt anymore. That, and Arlong always kept his word when Berry was concerned. Always. She'd seen him make countless such deals, seen him keep every last one of them. It was like what he'd told her when they'd first hashed out their arrangement; Arlong never broke a deal involving Berry. Berry made the world go 'round. Kept everyone alive. It'd be okay. She'd have the amount she needed in another year or so. She was close. Close, close, close.

She brought her hands together as if to pray as the thoughts passed through her mind. It'd be okay. Bellemere, it'd be okay. Wouldn't it?


	35. A Bad Luck Charm

**A/N: Wherein Sanji's cursed and only some things are different**

 **So this idea's been bugging me for awhile now, so I decided to write a quick** **au for it! (I just realized this is pretty similar to chapter one, eyyy throwback)**

* * *

Sanji was fairly certain he was cursed. As ridiculous as this sounded, it was the only rational explanation for... well, everything. For why that one overgrown wave always seemed to crash into him, why that one aggressive dog just happened to be outside whenever Sanji snuck out of the palace, why the hurdle broke when _he_ tried to pass over it despite his brothers doing so with ease, why he'd ended up stranded on that rock within a week of having left Germa.

A part of him wondered if Judge had noticed this about him, had noticed the bad luck that clung to him like a plague, wondered if he'd thrown Sanji into that cellar partly in an attempt to save his own skin. After all, Sanji's luck had injured those around him more times than he could count in its conquest to ruin his already shitty life. He knew he was the bane of everyone's existence, knew he was bad for business. Whenever he was around, the enemy would always have the edge. Whether it was a storm ruining their supplies or the opposing army finding aid in another, Germa's plans went awry every single time without fail. Looking back on it, Sanji was _glad_ he'd royally screwed up Judge's conquests, but at the time... Things weren't any different now either.

If there was ever a shitty customer, Sanji ended up waiting that table. The dishes always found a way to chip beneath his fingers no matter how careful he was, the food he handled rotted faster and the stove burned too hot no matter how many times he dialed down the temperature, sometimes even managing to catch his sleeves on fire.

After years and years of disaster after disaster, Patty and Carne only sighed and shook their heads whenever the inevitable occurred, long past the point of anger concerning him. It was clear that the geezer had no intentions of throwing him out, no matter how many dishes he broke. Didn't stop the old bastard from practically splitting his skull beneath that damn peg leg though. Sanji wasn't so much of a brat he couldn't admit he deserved it. Besides, he was used to it all. Used to getting set on fire, knocked through walls, electrocuted, attacked by animals, nearly drowning... Compared to that, geezer's kicks were friendly. Honestly, it was a mystery how he'd survived this long.

On cue, his feet slid out from under him as he stepped onto a slimy patch on the floor, slick like it'd been slathered in oil. Something he normally would've shrugged off with only the minimal amount of _kicking the shit out of anyone who laughed,_ but this time choreboy happened to be in the Kitchen despite how late it was, silently watching the scene play out with those wide, blank eyes Sanji was beginning to think were normal for him.

He waited for choreboy to mock him, to laugh, to do something, anything, but the closest he came to reacting was when he shoved a finger up his nose. Talk about uncivilized. Tch. Whatever.

Sanji went to stand, blindly groping for the edge of the countertop, but instead of the smooth surface he'd expected, his fingers connected with something wooden, unbalancing it, sending it crashing into his head with a _thunk_ he could've sworn actually fucking echoed. Then to add insult to injury, rather than hitting the floor, it bounced from his head into his lap, covering him in what seemed to be an entire thing of sliced up onion skin. A chopping board. Of all the things to knock over—

Sanji's thoughts abruptly cut off when again, he was reminded of choreboy's presence. For the second time that night, he waited for laughter that didn't come, the boy continuing to watch with his chin resting on the back of his chair and a finger digging deeper into his nose. Huh.

Carefully, suspiciously, Sanji allowed himself to relax a tinge as he clambered to his feet. Maybe choreboy was just slow or something.

"Say... You fall a lot."

Sanji jerked, nearly slipping on the same shitty puddle in his lame attempt to look at choreboy. Barely managed to catch himself on the countertop, which he clung to for dear life, arms wrapped around the top as if to hug it, legs spread haphazardly below him. Who the hell had spilled grease on the floor and just _left it there!?_ Better yet, who had left their shitty messy cutting board out!? Damn it! When he found who did this—

Shaking his head to clear it, he directed a scathing glare choreboy's way. "And?"

"Mm, nothing else."

That was it!?

Refusing to make a bigger fool of himself, Sanji straightened, wiping the remaining bits of onion skin off his suit and stepping away from the grease puddle. The soles of his shoes were still slippery so he kept a hand on the countertop as a precaution.

"Well, if you have nothing else to say why don't you grab a mop an' bucket and help me clean up this mess."

"Okay."

Considering choreboy's destructive track record for doing, well, anything, Sanji wasn't reassured by his easy agreement. In lieu of glaring like a paranoid bastard, Sanji proceeded to light a cigarette, nearly catching the cuff of his sleeve on fire for what had to be the hundredth damn time this week. Taking a page from Patty and Carne, rather than get agitated, Sanji sighed, long, hard. Not like bitching and moaning about it had ever changed anything for any of them.

* * *

He ended up joining choreboy's crew. Really, Sanji leaving the Baratie had been a long time coming—something he should've done years ago, considering how much he owed the old bastard—but still, couldn't say there wasn't a part of him that hated seeing this place go. They may be a bunch of shitheads, but he'd grown up around them. Grown up here. The prospect of saying goodbye weighed heavily on his chest and he knew he'd end up giving into emotion if he so much as attempted. That's why, in an attempt to save face, he strolled to the boat without looking at them, without saying a word. Should've known things wouldn't go the way he'd wanted them to. When did they ever? Though, for once, Sanji was happy for this stroke of bad luck.

"Don't catch a cold," geezer called from the balcony overhead, and the dam holding him back finally burst as memories flashed through his mind, memories of a gnawing hunger and piercing cold, of a severed leg, of the geezer smiling down at him for a photo, ruffling his hair, teaching him to cook, to fight, to— to—

Eyes stinging, throat constricting, Sanji was overcome with the urge to say what he'd always wanted to, what he'd always been afraid to.

"Owner Zeff!" He yelled, voice raw and choked with feeling as he spun around. Right in time for an especially large wave to crash into him, drenching him from head to toe and nearly sweeping him off his feet. Pretty sure there was a fish flopping around in his collar too.

Geezer stared at him, Sanji stared at the geezer, the chefs stared at the fish.

Sanji threw his arms over his head.

"Thank you so damn much for everything you've done for me!"

"DON'T JUST IGNORE IT!"

* * *

He'd chosen to follow one hell of a moron, he decided, barely managing not to roll his eyes at the sight of that rubber-headed shit-for-brains covered in octopus ink and trapped ankle deep in concrete. Then again, this may have been Sanji's fault. Whatever.

The octopus-guy tried to chuck a wall at his new Captain, and Sanji classified this as his moment to shine. Charging forward, he easily smashed the wall beneath his heel, tiny chunks of it raining harmlessly overhead.

"Geez," he bit out around his cigarette, "looks like I've chosen to follow a dumbass for a—"

An especially large piece of rubble knocked him upside the head with enough force to send his cigarette tumbling down his chest, the ashes smearing his tie and setting it ablaze.

"Ack, shit!"

The current situation fleeing his mind, he frantically tried to pat it out. Had learned from experience how fast these types of fires spread, damn it!

"Are you freaking kidding me!?" Someone shouted, sounded like Usopp.

"Oh god, there's two of them..." Zoro groaned.

Sanji took offense to that.

* * *

As it turned out, while bad luck hung over Sanji like a stormy cloud, good luck oozed from Luffy, bright and brilliant as the sun itself. As the days carried on, it'd become apparent to him their voyage had shifted into a battle to the death between the two conflicting auras, Sanji's bad luck causing disaster, Luffy's good luck finding the—sometimes literal—light inside the tunnel.

An old enemy just happened to be in Loguetown and pinned Luffy to the execution stand, a bolt of _lightning_ struck said stand, freeing Luffy. Laboon happened to be blocking the entrance that day, Luffy thought of the perfect solution at the perfect time, saving all of their lives. Sanji accidentally shattered the logpose, Crocus was kind enough to give them another. Nami was sick and of all the islands to find, it just happened to be the island with only a single doctor left. They immediately bumped into someone that could lead them to said doctor.

It was ridiculous, it was insane, and yet, Sanji found himself gradually relaxing as this duel proceeded. With the consequences not as severe as they'd always been, with Luffy watching his back, even if inadvertently, he could almost forget about this cursed fate of his.

"Oh, shit— Look out below!"

Something heavy landed on Sanji's head, engulfing it entirely, soon followed by the feeling of icy cold paint washing down his torso.

Almost.

* * *

"Sky island exists, doesn't it!?"

At that, Montblanc Cricket chuckled, "I don't know either, but I knew a man who said it does. He was known as a great liar though—"

"Ah!" With eyes wide enough to be plates, Luffy swiveled his gaze to Usopp.

"It's not me!" Usopp promptly snapped.

"—someone that was always being laughed at." Cricket continued, paying Luffy no mind.

" _Ah!"_ Again, Luffy swiveled his head, this time towards Sanji.

"Not me either!" Sanji yelled, Nami's hand on his shoulder the only thing keeping him from breaking all his oaths and committing mutiny on the spot.

"Down, boy."

* * *

"No. We're fine where we are. I won't... go back with you."

Sanji's head jerked up, eyes that'd never left Robin widening. Meanwhile, the chasm of sea between them continued to churn as if nothing had taken place, waves sloshing over the other as the breeze carried them.

"Let's say our farewell here," she said, voice perfectly clear despite the soft way she spoke. "In this town."

"Robin?" Chopper asked more than spoke.

"Er... what are you saying, Robin-chan?" Truly, he was having a hard time grasping the situation. Why would sweet, beautiful Robin be acting this way towards them? "Ah! Is it about the thing in the papers? Don't worry! We don't believe it!" Sanji spread his arms wide, trying for all he was worth to relay the truth to his words, to reassure her that it was okay, that that jerk Aokiji hadn't shaken them up _that_ much. "They always blame the pirates whenever anything bad happens!"

Instead of the relief he'd expected to fill her expression, Robin merely closed her eyes. "Yes. You guys were falsely accused of the crime. However..."

Sanji frowned, arms sliding to his side.

"For me, it is the truth. I did, in fact, infiltrate the mayor's office last night."

"..Huh?"

Robin's eyes opened as a shadow seemed to cross over her face, darkening her features in a way he might've said was an omen if it wasn't _Robin_ if it wasn't his friend.

"I am shrouded in a darkness that you have no knowledge of. And that death will eventually be the end of you."

As he listened, an image of Aokiji resurfaced no matter how hard he tried to fight it away, those shitty words he'd spoken echoing around inside his skull: " _up until now, every group that ever associated with Nico Robin... has been destroyed. That woman is always the sole survivor."_

Sanji didn't want to believe it, but again, the doubt he'd grown familiar with these past few days began to prickle in his chest.

"Now you will be my scapegoats for this incident. I will leave soon and..." Despite the fact her voice never wavered, it did, in fact, grow fainter, and though he wanted it to be a sign of Robin's reluctance, a sign that she didn't mean what she was saying—basic logic and reasoning chalked that difference in volume up to the giant Yagara that'd decided to pass between them, carrying a line of tourist boats that showed no sign of ending anytime soon.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"This changes nothing."

* * *

"Forget it, Zoro," Luffy's voice crackled over the transceiver, soft and oddly serious. "If it were you, would you wait? If you were on that train right now instead of him, and I told you that Robin had sacrificed herself to protect us, would you sit there and do nothing? There's no use trying to stop him."

"Read me like a book," Sanji agreed, mouth tipping into a smirk. "But thanks Mosshead, I never knew you cared about me so much."

"I hope they kill you!" Zoro snapped automatically, the Den Den Mushi's face contorting into a pissed off snarl. Then it paused, and it's features slackened into a smirk, not unlike Sanji's own.

Sanji was no longer smiling.

"I just mean that having cook on there is enough of an advantage already," Zoro said like it was the most rational thing in the entire world. "Knowing him, he'll probably crash the train somehow and then we can just take Robin back during the chaos."

"Ah! You're right!" Luffy said, tone taking the same tint as Zoro's. "Good idea Zoro!"

"OH SCREW YOU SHITHEADS!"

Off to the side, Usopp suddenly piped up, "hey, does anyone else smell smoke?"

* * *

At the sight of Duval, something in Sanji finally _snapped._ Before his mind had caught up with the rest of him, he was already pulling himself out of the ocean and racing across the dock, vision going oddly red, legs beginning to burn despite all his years of training. For once, he couldn't have given a damn about whatever crap the universe threw his way. A guy tripped and fell into his path, Sanji used him as a springboard to go faster, a crack in the cement split deeper, he bent his knees into a massive leap, spinning in mid-air and—

"Wha—!"

"Sanji!"

— _smashing his heel into that bastard's skull!_

The crack that followed was so satisfying, he could've cared less when the bull bucked, ruining his landing and sending him skidding across his back through a puddle. Brook, being the newest member and thus the least used to Sanji's miracle birthing shitty luck, was bowled over on the ground laughing his ass off at a comment from Marimo while the others looked on with deadpan expressions.

Sanji promptly hopped to his feet. "IF ANYONE HAS A RIGHT TO BE PISSED OFF, IT'S ME, DAMN IIIIIIIIIIIIT!"


	36. The Strongest

**A/N: Zoro was going to be the world's strongest swordsman, it didn't matter he couldn't see**

 **tw: ableism, sexism (as always, just to be safe)**

* * *

(1)

Zoro lashed forward with his shinai, releasing a frustrated growl as the bamboo sticks met with zero resistance. Backing away another foot, he drew in a sliver of air, focusing on the way the wind rustled the grass, to where it tapered off slightly. This time, he swung both shinai, angling them in the direction he assumed a wooden post to be. Again, they passed through empty air, only stopping when the tips smacked into the dirt, sending up puffs that stung his eyes.

Zoro promptly chucked his shinia aside. "Darnit!"

"Having trouble Zoro?" Came a voice that was practically dripping with amusement at his expense. "What? Can't even hit a simple training post?"

"Shut up, Kuina!" He snapped, snagging his shinai and shifting into stance once more. A pause, and he angled them in her direction instead. "Fight me!"

A beat passed with no response, and he was beginning to think she'd left—she always had a way of creeping off without him noticing—then a sigh scraped the inside of his ears, and dirt grinding beneath shoes followed.

"Have it your way," she was smiling again, he could tell by her tone. "You're just gonna lose again, though."

"Shut up, I won't lose this time!"

He lost that time.

"That makes one-thousand and nine hundred wins for me, and zero for you."

A feeling like boiling water flooded his chest and he smashed a fist against his knee. "Darnit!"

"Gonna give up?" Kuina taunted, though the sliver of concern in her voice didn't go unnoticed.

"Never!" Zoro shot back, snagging his shinai and staggering to his feet. "I'll definitely beat you, just you wait!"

"Keep on dreaming," she answered, tone smoothing back to its usual conceitedness. "You're just a weakling, Zoro. But, then again, I suppose even weaklings like yourself need to dream."

"You—" He cut himself off. She was gone, wasn't she?

The resounding silence was answer enough.

Zoro pursed his lips, cheeks heating up. Why did she have to keep doing that to him!? Whatever!

Turning on his heel, he made to storm off in the direction the training post _had_ to be, fingers digging into the hilt of his shinai with enough force to hurt. The muffled snickering from the sidelines certainly didn't improve his mood. He'd forgotten the other students were there.

"Hey, Zoro, yer headin' to the woods! Come back this way!"

"Wha—? Ah, crap!"

(2)

He couldn't beat her the next time either. Nor the time after that, or the time after that, or the time after that. Before he knew it, she'd racked up nearly two thousand wins while he still remained with a whopping zero. It was so frustrating! He knew he wasn't weak! He wasn't! He could beat anyone else! Even the adults! He wasn't weak, he wasn't!

As he propped himself up on an elbow, palm shifting to cover the bruise he could already feel forming on his forehead, the whispering didn't go unnoticed.

"Again?"

"It's only 'cuz he's blind. Kuina's just a girl! He'd have beat her by now if he could _see."_

"Now, now guys, I think that's enough," Sensei intervened, tone so painfully apologetic it had the opposite effect on Zoro.

He opened his mouth to yell, to defend himself, to say _something,_ but someone else beat him to it.

"That's right, I'm a little girl and Zoro's blind, and yet, not a single one of you can beat us, can you?"

Zoro's breath hitched in his chest. Kuina. She hadn't left?

"Come on, Zoro, unlike these useless wimps, we actually have training to do."

The sheer amount of venom in her voice startled him. Stunned, his feet moved in the direction he knew she was, but he must've been too slow, because she stomped over and grabbed his wrist, tugging him away from the indignant yells and splutters left in their wake. It wasn't until they were alone that he chucked his shinai at the ground, crumbling to his knees and burying his face in his palms.

"Damn it! Not only can I not beat you, but being defended by my rival!? This is shameful!"

A snort. "Even if you could see, you still wouldn't be able to beat me."

His mouth flew open, several comebacks jumbling together on his tongue.

"Just give up."

The words slammed into him with the weight of several fists. For a moment, he could've sworn she _had_ punched him, body reeling back, lungs begging for the air he'd forgotten existed. Then the rage came.

"Screw you! I'm going to be the best swordsman that ever existed, I don't care if I can't see, I'll show you all!"

As he charged off, he dimly noted her calling after him. Couldn't say he cared. Too angry. He didn't need her pity, damnit! He could take care of himself just fine! On cue, he tripped over a root and tumbled down a hill.

(3)

He didn't go home that night. Too mad. No, mad was an understatement, he couldn't even begin to put to words how he felt—not that he'd been great at expressing himself to start with. It'd been like this for as long as he could remember, people doubting him, _pitying him,_ and it was like no matter what he did, no matter how hard he tried, he'd never be anything more than that 'poor blind kid'.

They treated him like he was fragile. Treated him as if his lack of sight was something catastrophic, something irreversibly tragic, and yeah, it sucked, _he knew that,_ but it wasn't as big a deal as they made it out to be. He'd always been this way. It's not like he'd gotten into an accident, not like he had to accept never being able to see the world again. The 'peaceful' sky he'd heard sensei sigh about on lazy days, the waves that lapped at the harbor with a fierce _shishhhh_ he admired, the grass that swayed on every breeze, tickling his ankles. He'd never have to accept 'losing' those things because he'd never 'had' them to begin with. At least, not in the same sense as everyone else. Zoro saw through his other senses. Sat still, listened, touched, pictured, and maybe he wasn't great at the latter, but it was good enough for him.

Tugging at the rope with all he had, he could hear the dirt shift as the boulder began to lift, could hear the rope tighten and strain. With a battle cry, he pulled harder, listening to the leaves scatter like rain pelting the ground as the boulder smacked into a branch. It wasn't good enough. He needed more, needed to be stronger than this! He needed to be the best! That way, no one would ever look down on him again!

He added another boulder as his muscles began to scream in protest, as his mind dulled into an exhausted haze. Another cry escaped, this time strained and pained, and it still wasn't _good enough._

(4)

He didn't speak with Kuina for a week. Not that he was avoiding her. Actually, he'd shown up the next morning with every intention of challenging her to another duel, but she hadn't been around. He knew she'd attended class, tried to confront her, fight like they always did, _prove her wrong,_ yet every time he tried she was gone.

He didn't think much of it despite how much time passed this way. Didn't let the absence of snarky commentary bother him whenever the bathroom changed places, or when he missed the training post. After all, Kuina had always been like this. Like a breeze rolling through, never staying for long, never giving any hints as to when she would return. It's not like he was lonely or anything. Strong people didn't get lonely, and Zoro was strong. He didn't need her. He didn't need anyone.

He managed to connect with the post this time, bamboo smacking against wood with a disorienting _thwack!_ He took a step away as he processed this, then, the biggest shit-eating grin he'd ever worn spread from cheek to cheek. He could do this! He felt it in his bones!

(5)

He wasn't sure what time it was, but he knew it was dark thanks to the silence in place of cicadas, and the lack of sunlight warming his skin. This knowledge didn't concern him. He rarely went home these days anyway, choosing to train until he passed out in the woods. It'd become routine, something he wouldn't feel right about skipping, so he'd intended to do the same this night as well. That is, until he heard a voice.

"Zoro."

Kuina. No one else could creep up on him like that.

"I want to duel."

For several heartbeats, Zoro simply stared in her direction, mouth agape. _Kuina_ wanted to fight _him!?_ She'd never challenged him before! Normally he was the one who always—

Slowly, his jaw eased, lips tipping up.

He didn't hesitate to shift into position, shinai thrust forward. "Let's do it!"

"No."

He blinked. "Huh?"

An object hit the dirt near his feet. Then another one. The sound of metal scraping a sheath made the hairs on his arms stand on edge. These weren't shinai. These were... were...

"What's the matter Zoro?" She asked, and he could hear the smirk on her face. "You scared?"

His smile vanished, teeth gritted in the beginnings of a snarl. "Never!"

(6)

Two minutes. That was all it took for Kuina to pin him to the ground, a foot to his chest and the blade of a sword buried in the dirt inches from his cheek.

"That's two thousand and one," she managed between breaths, satisfaction oozing from every word.

Meanwhile, Zoro felt his insides twist in frustration, building, and building until he couldn't keep it in, couldn't stop his eyes from stinging, for tears to build up. Disgraceful. This was disgraceful!

Hiding his eyes in the crook of his elbow, he stayed down, hoping against hope this was one of the times Kuina would leave without a word, that she was already gone.

" _Damn it!"_

A nearby thump told him luck wasn't in his favor. She must've sat on one of the tree roots.

"Frustrating, isn't it?"

The muscles in his arm stiffened, practically crushing the bridge of his nose. What?

A laugh that was far too bitter rang out, quiet yet unnerving all the same. "It doesn't matter how hard we work, we'll never be anything more than a little _girl_ and _cripple."_ She spat out 'girl' and 'cripple' like they were drenched in poison.

Clenching his jaw against a sob, he pushed himself upright, catching the tears on the heel of his hand. She was right. He knew. He'd known from the start. Waited for her to say the truth he didn't want to hear, to end it all right here, right now, but instead, something like surety flooded her tone, nearly hiding where her voice cracked with emotion.

"But after watching you, I don't wanna give up."

For once, he could hear her footsteps as she drew nearer, felt his skin tingle as something hovered close.

"Let's show them Zoro. Forget about being the best in the dojo, one of us has to be the best in the whole world! It has to be me or you, Zoro, promise me right now!"

He didn't know how long he sat there, an emotion he couldn't identify oozing from his chest and filling him from head to toe. He didn't know what expression he had, didn't know hers either, but he did know one thing. He wasn't gonna let her beat him. Taking her hand, he allowed a grin to slide across his face as he angled his eyes to where he figured hers must've been. "It's a promise!"

(7)

Kuina was dead. Zoro stood amongst the crowd, staring in the direction he'd been told, the sounds of sobbing and heartfelt words flooding his ears until he felt like he was drowning in them. Despite this, he didn't run off like he would've preferred to. Didn't train even though he'd normally be knee-deep into his workout routine by now, because—

Because Kuina was dead.

He'd reminded himself of why he was standing here almost as many times as he'd lost to her. It still didn't compute. He could almost imagine this was some sort of sick joke, that Kuina was standing beside him quiet as always, that at any moment she'd tease him for looking so serious, that she'd rag on him for skipping training. He wanted that to be the case. Wanted this to be a joke, no matter how cruel of a joke it would've been. But... But, Kuina would never do something like that. He knew. Knew she was really—

Biting back the lump rising in his throat, he lowered his stinging eyes, ducked his head. Couldn't tell if anyone had noticed, if anyone was still there at all, just stayed in place like he'd been told until a hand was on his shoulder, leading him away. For once, he allowed it. Allowed someone to help him. Didn't have it in him to fight. Not now. Not here.

A comforting murmur from above, and he knew it was his sensei guiding him away. Could feel people shuffle passed as the crowd dissipated. The funeral was over, and like this, Kuina would also be—

This time, he couldn't fight the hiccupy sob that rose to his lips.

No. He wouldn't let that happen! If Kuina couldn't keep her end of their promise, he'd keep it for the both of them! He'd fight and grow stronger for the both of them, he'd show the world it didn't matter that he was crippled, that she was a girl, he'd make sure they all knew! He wouldn't let the memory of her dissipate! Not like this!

Zoro _would_ be the greatest swordsman to ever walk this land!

* * *

(7.1)

Luffy was a strange one. Of course, Zoro had realized this the moment they'd met, wherein he'd felt a gaze boring into him from somewhere, had yelled for said gaze to 'beat it', only for the weird ass to hop the fence and start chatting his ear off. Luffy was... different. Even after Zoro had informed him of his blindness—mostly in an attempt to make him piss off—Luffy hadn't cared. Had asked what 'a blind was', and after Zoro explained, had only paused for a fraction of a second before asking him if he could poop. Zoro had grown up being asked a number of ridiculous things, but this one topped the list. Then Luffy was asking him to join again, not even giving him a second to recover from the shock of being asked something like that. And, well, after that and the lengths Luffy had taken to help him, how could Zoro say no?

So, he'd joined. Set sail on that dinky raft with only the two of them. Luffy was a strange person in a strange situation with a strange dream and strange way of thinking, but odd as it was, Zoro understood him. Felt like he'd known Luffy for decades, and as his new Captain began to go on and on about what the ocean looked like, using terms and words Zoro had never heard to describe, well, anything, he could tell the feeling was mutual.

"And there's tons of meat down there!"

"Meat?"

A beat of silence wherein he assumed Luffy had nodded. "Tastes slimy when it's not cooked though..."

At that, Zoro busted out laughing, "who wouldn't cook it, are you stupid!?"

Luffy joined in without hesitation, laughing just as hard and freely, and yeah, Zoro decided he didn't mind this strange situation he'd found himself in one bit.

* * *

 **A/N: Alas, another au I may expand on one day! Also, yes, I am extra enough to google what those training swords are called** **(ง'̀-'́)ง fight me**


	37. Getting Blown Up Sucks

When the boy came around, it was to a world of _pain._ Emphasis on pain because this was honestly the most he'd ever been in. He cracked his eye—eye?—open to a world full of white, the stinging in his left side only increasing as he woke fully. Thanks to this, it took him a full minute to realize the white he was seeing was a ceiling, and the weird buzzing off to the side was a conversation. Blinking, once, twice, three times, he tried to force the bleariness to vanish, failed. Felt groggy.

He didn't think such a feeling was normal, yet, he couldn't think of any reason why it wouldn't be. On the off chance he was right and this wasn't natural, whatever was trying to make him sleep was doing a terrible job at it. He almost wished it would work, just so he wouldn't have to stand this _itching_ pain all over as if someone had filled his skin with heated sand. On cue, a broken whimper escaped his lips, silencing the nearby conversation. For some reason, this made his heart race until it was thumping against his ribs with the force of a hundred drummers. He was afraid of them. No... That wasn't it.

The more he focused on the panic bubbling inside, the more he realized it wasn't the presence of people in itself that scared him, but the thought of who they may be. As the voices picked up again, this time closer, he tried to squeeze his eyes shut, tried to ignore the reality around him, but a pain not unlike a dagger being jabbed into an open wound surfaced in his left eye and he couldn't fight the pained cry that rose to his lips. His fear increased tenfold, as did the volume of the voices and the speed at which they approached, but the boy was faster, hand darting to his throbbing eye, fingers coming into contact with... something. Were these... bandages? Why—?

He—

Was something—?

Dark figures appeared at the edge of what vision he _did_ have, but he couldn't be bothered with them as he forced himself upright on shaky arms.

"M-My eye, why can't—? What's going on, why is my eye—?"

"Come on kid, jus' lay down," a man said, clearly trying to soothe him.

A hand rested on his shoulder and the boy jerked away, _hard._

"My eye! Why is my eye bandaged!? W-Where am I!?"

"You don't... remember?"

"Huh?" The eye he could see out of snapped to the figure at his other side, a woman. She was adjusting something behind him, clear and hooked into his arm.

"You had an, uh... accident." The guy went on, tone low and nervous.

"An 'accident?'"

The boy couldn't recall anything like that. Actually, he couldn't recall anything. His entire mind was blank.

"How are you feeling?" The woman spoke for the first time. "Are you in pain?"

"On a scale of one to 'please give me enough sedatives to permanently end my sufferi—" The guy had started to say, only to be cut off by a vicious glare from the woman.

"A hundred," he choked out, "and I can't see anything."

His hand returned to his eye, still stinging and thumping.

Silence washed over the room, thick, palpable, then the guy sighed.

"You got into an accident," he repeated. "Whole left side of your body was burned, and by the time you were passed into our care, it was too late for your eye. I'm sorry."

A metal ball was rolling around inside his skull. Had to be. Certainly felt like it as his body swayed without his permission, nearly sending him onto the floor. A hand gripped his shoulder again, this time firmer, this time allowed to stay; if only to keep him from falling.

"Is my eye..?" Gone, he couldn't say.

They seemed to hear it anyways, exchanging worried looks over his head. Then the hand gripping him was giving him a gentle pat before receding.

"Still there, kid, you don't gotta worry 'bout _that._ But your cornea was damaged so badly it's unlikely you'll be using that eye for much besides decoration."

It was there. Relief washed over him like a pleasant breeze, and the muscles he hadn't realized were tense loosened. Still though...

"How unlikely is it?"

The lack of response was answer enough.

Lowering his head, he stared at his hands, the small tunnel of vision he had access to suddenly becoming a lot more noticeable.

"Look, we're not exactly regular doctors, but we really should be talking to your parents about this. Where you from? Goa, right?"

"I, uh.."

"Better yet, what's your last name? We can hunt them down ourselves."

"I..." The boy paused, tried to remember, but doing so was like trying to shove his way through a wall of cotton. "I dunno. I can't _remember."_

Another silence, but somehow, this one was positively deafening. And then—

"DRAGON, SIR! WE HAVE A PROBLEM!"

The door slammed shut, and the woman rolled her eyes before settling into a chair at his bedside. The boy had a feeling neither of them were going to be leaving this room anytime soon.

* * *

His hunch was spot on. After talking to that man—to Dragon—after learning his name was Sabo, after begging for them to take him along, to let him join despite recent... disadvantages, Sabo had been left to 'rest.' As if he could. He didn't know who he was, didn't know where he was or who he was with, really, but he did know one thing; there was no way in hell he was going back to Goa. Maybe it'd been his parents he was afraid to wake up seeing, maybe it was someone else, but something about the thought of returning home made his stomach churn from more than just the pain meds. So, he'd decided to join... whatever these people were. He was desperate. In pain. Tired. Half-blind.

He realized these people were fighters of some kind—he wasn't deaf. He could hear them talking in the hall. He wasn't stupid either. He knew fighting wouldn't be easy with a literal blind spot on his left, but, eh, he'd figure it out. He got the feeling he always did, somehow.

Allowing himself to relax into the lumpy mattress, he let a smile—the first smile he could remember—flitter across his face. Life was good, he guessed. A voice in the back of his head told him there were much worse things than this.

* * *

 **A/N: like being enslaved to your parents. Anyways, I'm a fan of this headcanon so I decided to write a thing on it! Also, don't worry** **abt the doctors, they're just random OC's to keep the story flowing forward**


	38. I was supposed to save you

**A/N: warning major character death**

* * *

Sanji threw himself into the thick of the crowd, paying Caesar only enough attention to be sure he didn't botch the other's escape. The plan wasn't perfect. Actually, it was half-baked at best, but Sanji sure as hell wasn't going to leave his friend's lives in the hands of the Vinsmoke family—not when this whole thing had been his fault. Besides, someone had to cover their escape. Ducking a blow from Katakuri, he forced his way further into the mass of fighting Pirates, kicking and shoving blindly, dodging knives and cleavers that would've otherwise blown his head clean off. Was taking full advantage of the situation to unleash some of the frustration he'd kept pent up since arriving in Germa, flames roaring around his legs. Was taking down yet another one of Big Mom's children when something caught his eye. A gleam of light.

Luffy, on the other hand, was leaping through the air, oblivious as he smashed an enlarged haki-coated fist into the center of their enemies, sending them flying in every direction imaginable. Sanji barely acknowledged him, gaze locked on the light, a feeling like static crawling down his neck.

Was that—? As if to answer him, the group in his way were tossed aside by the force of yet another of his Captain's punches, revealing none other than Pudding. She didn't notice him, eyes tracking Luffy's course of destruction while her white dress whipped around her in the wind, covered in filth and splattered blood that on any normal day would've filled him with the urge to pummel whoever the hell was responsible for ruining such a lovely dress, but this time—

This time—

He watched, studying the way her beautiful face pinched together, and even without haki, the pure rage underlining her expression was clear as day. And in her hands was—

Was—

In her hands—

"Luffy."

The words slipped from his mouth before he could stop them, legs propelling him forward as if they'd gained a will of their own while memories flashed through his mind with the ferocity of an explosion. Memories of rain pelting his face, of a warm wall against his back, of an icy-cold horror seeping through his limbs, of staring at his feet in disbelief as she explained _them,_ as she told Reiju what _they_ could do. If such a thing could harm Rejiu despite her hardened body, if even a genetically enhanced Vinsmoke could be killed by it, then, then—

"Luffy, you idiot, get out of the way!"

Luffy was slow, much too slow, turning to face him with round eyes and a half-formed question on his lips. Not enough time.

Lunging forward, he smashed his shoulder into his Captain's side, knocking him out of the way as a sound reminiscent of thunder cracked over the battlefield like a whip. A feeling like a strong punch collided with his ribs, forcing its way through and curling his body around it. Didn't process he was falling until he'd already landed, shoulders hitting the ground at an awkward angle, rolling him onto his back. Ears ringing, vision white, he lay stiller than he had since his stint on the rock, body growing warm as if someone had tossed a particularly scratchy blanket overtop him.

Distantly, he noted Pudding getting swallowed up by another horde of her siblings while an explosion rocked the world around them. Then, it all hit him. The pain. A barely choked scream rose in his throat as an indescribable ache seared into his chest. Hurt. Hurt like molten lava had been dumped over his ribs.

" _SANJI!"_

Hadn't realized his eyes were squeezed shut until he was peeling one open, scanning the sky around him, though at the moment, doing so was the equivalent of peering through the someone else's glasses. A blob was running towards him, jumbling around unnaturally as the color bounced away from the shape only to snap back into focus again and again. Who was that? Luffy? Would make sense. Dumb bastard would run right over to him.

Sanji opened his mouth to assure his Captain he was fine, to insist he get out of the way, that he take cover, yet the words caught in his throat, replaced by a wet cough. Wet? Red. Red was sticking to his chin, covering his shirt, the palms he'd used to rub it off. He tried to stare, to get a better look, but the sun was bright, too bright, and he could only squint with a pained groan. Didn't know what happened next, but suddenly Luffy's head was blocking the sunlight—yeah, it had to be Luffy, only he would be so stupidly concerned, even after everything Sanji had said to him. He was yelling something Sanji hardly heard, the sound carrying as if he was submerged underwater. At this point, it was an honest possibility. He wouldn't be able to tell the difference. At that, he blinked, _hard._ No, that wasn't right. He could tell. He wasn't—

He wasn't under water. He couldn't be. So, why couldn't he hear, why couldn't he—?

Realization hit him harder than the ground had, knocking whatever air he'd had left out of his lungs. He'd been shot. Right. Pudding—

She'd had a gun. She'd had _the_ gun, the one filled with those special bullets, bullets that could pierce through solid steel. Bullets that would've torn through Luffy like he was made of paper rather than rubber, that would've killed him on the spot. And that dumbass wouldn't have even known what had hit him. Sanji almost felt like laughing. Almost.

"Why?" Luffy croaked as the ringing in his ears finally began to die down. Couldn't tell if he was only starting to yell, or if he'd been the entire time. "I would've been fine! It would've bounced off like it always does! Sanji!"

Right. Luffy still didn't know, did he? Should probably explain. Then again, the shithead probably wouldn't understand anyway. That and Sanji got the feeling he didn't have enough time.

Rather than justify his actions, he forced an arm up, fingers digging into the front of Luffy's shirt like claws, tugging him closer.

"C-Ca-Captain," he choked out. Was shaking. Couldn't stop. Too cold, which didn't make sense because his skin was burning up. "N-Need you... need... to tell..."

Not a good place to start.

"After you sail around the world," he tried again. "After you fi..nd... One... the One Piece... d-drop off a message for me, will you?"

Luffy's jumbled form pieced itself together, showing a fearful look that was more befitting on a child than his Captain before it split apart again. That didn't make sense. Why would he be afraid? After all, Luffy was the man who'd be King of the Pirates, he was nothing like Sanji.

"'Message?'" Luffy echoed after several heartbeats had passed. "W-What do you mean...? San— Sanji! You're fine! C-Chopper's here! He left but I can just get him back, just hold on, I can—! I can take you to him! Come on!"

On that note, Luffy started to stand, fully intending to carry Sanji to who-knows-where in a last ditch effort they both knew was pointless. Chopper was gone. For once, Sanji couldn't bring himself to humor his Captain.

Tightening his fingers in Luffy's collar, he tried with all he had to shake his head, to signify that, no, he needed Luffy _here,_ needed him to stay, to _listen_ to him for a damned change!

Luffy froze at the gesture, and Sanji forced a swallow down his too tight throat, a sensation like a ball rolling around inside his skull as images played throughout his head. Zeff sitting on the rock, all skin and bones and with a stump for a leg. The Baratie after its opening, Zeff grinning down at him, ruffling his hair for a photo, Patty, Carne, laughing, teasing, arguing, crying as he left. Zeff telling him not to catch a cold with tears dripping down his cheeks. Tears began to fill his own eyes, and he tipped his head down, not wanting Luffy to see.

"G-Geezer. T-Te-Tell... I sa-said 'thank you for everything.' And, I-I'm so..rry, even after all he did for me, every.. _thing_ he _sacrificed,_ I still cou— couldn't accomplish our dream. I c-couldn't find the... the All Blue." He stopped momentarily as regret smashed into him with the force of a tidal wave. Regret over his lost dream. Then, "Se— Send my r-regards to those bastards Patty and Carne too."

After all, they'd been the closest thing he'd had to brothers in the end.

"No."

"Lu—"

"No, you're not dying!" Luffy's voice had risen further, loud enough to make Sanji wince.

Before the noise had been practically nonexistent, but now it was overwhelming, too much, too loud. Luffy dropped to a knee, yanking Sanji half-way up by his collar, forcing him to meet his gaze and, shit, Sanji hadn't wanted him to see this, to see how afraid he was, how much he didn't want it to end. Not yet, not here, not while he still hadn't done anything, hadn't made the Geezer proud, hadn't shown him his sacrifice was worth something, that _Sanji_ was.

"Don't you dare talk like that, Sanji! You can't leave the crew, not without the Captain's permission! You wanted to come back to the Sunny, didn't you!? Well, you have to! You have to come back, Captain's orders!"

Shook his head, sticky bangs following the movement. "Sorry. Captain." A raspy breath. "I can't follow you this time."

Silence. Luffy was shaking almost as violently as Sanji, teeth gritted, breathing stuffed up like he was on the verge of crying himself. Kinda reminded him of a pot of water right before it boiled over, tension wrought in every line of his body. Then, he opened his mouth and it all seemed to dissipate at once, channeled into something else, some kind of calm acceptance Sanji couldn't place.

"All right. I understand."

Around them, the world seemed to freeze. The war cries faded along with the clanging of swords, the fire of guns, the stamping of feet until it was just the two of them, alone together like they'd been when Sanji had told him his dream for the first time, when Luffy hadn't laughed, had taken him seriously, had—shit. Shit. Shit, shit, shit.

"Sorry, Luffy, even though... you came all this way, it looks like yer gonna have'ta find a new cook."

A shaky, almost angry, "I don't want another cook," was Luffy's response.

Sanji's mouth tipped up despite the pain. Even now, Luffy said shit like that. Dumbass knew how to make a cook feel special if nothing else. Sanji's smile faded as fast as it'd come, however, memories of kicking Luffy into the ground surfacing. Of insulting him, insulting his dream.

"What I said, I didn't—"

"I already know that," Luffy cut in. "Don't be dumb Sanji. 'Course I knew."

"I'm sorry," he repeated anyways. "None of you would be here, in this situation, if it wasn' for me, either."

"'Course we'd come." His grip on Sanji's collar tightened, and vaguely, he noted the way Luffy's head lowered, the way the brim hid his expression from sight. "We're friends. The others wanted to come too."

The others, huh? Usopp, Robin, Franky, that damned moss-head, they all passed through his mind. The latter lingered.

"Tell Moss somethin' for me too, will ya?" He asked, and now he really couldn't hold the tears back, grabbing Luffy's wrist in an iron hold. "If he doesn' protect you, or Nami, or Robin, or Chopper, or Usopp, or Franky, or Brook, I'll kick his sorry ass when he finally passes on! I'll make him regret ever havin' lived, let alone joined this crew. Tell 'im that!"

Sanji was expecting more arguing, more 'why don't you do it yourself's, more 'you'll be fine's, but instead, Luffy remained still, the stillest Sanji had seen him. Then he was planting a hand on his hat, resettling it enough to show the deadly promise gleaming in his eyes, the same he'd had before declaring war on the entire world. Sanji wondered what it was directed at this time, wondered what war his Captain wanted to fight.

"I'll tell him."

Knowing Luffy, he'd probably want to kick Judge's ass for this. Maybe Big Mom's too, though he hoped the idiot knew better than to try that right now. Another smile worked its way across his lips. If he had to give his life for someone else, at least it was for someone like his Captain. At least, it had been his decision. Heh. He'd do it again in a heartbeat.

"Guess it could've been worse," he murmured, following that train of thought. "Cookin' for you morons, I was happy. Luffy," he tilted his head to meet his Captain's gaze. His grin stretched wider. "Thank you."

If Luffy replied he didn't hear, the sensation of being underwater returning. Felt like he was floating, that if he closed his eyes, he'd be swept away from the fight, from Luffy, from everything he'd ever wanted and everything he'd ever known or feared. The sunlight returned. His mother was in front of him, smiling like she normally did whenever he dropped in for a visit.

Staggering, Sanji pushed himself to his feet, and if he was several sizes smaller he didn't notice, nor did he see the body left behind, simply running over and throwing his arms around her knees, sobs already pouring out. She knelt down and pulled him into an embrace flooded with a warmth he hadn't felt in decades, safe, enveloping, something he'd craved for so damn long. And at this, he finally allowed his eyes to close, for sleep to take him. Didn't fight the feeling, simply relaxing further into his mother's arms as one last thought passed through his mind, one he hadn't been able to say out loud.

Not long ago, Luffy had claimed he couldn't be the Pirate King without him, but Sanji knew nothing was further from the truth. Luffy didn't need him, hell, Luffy didn't need anybody. One way or another, he'd surely accomplish his dream. To them, he already was the King of Pirates.


	39. I was supposed to save you (2)

**A/N: "A captain's burden is heavy", Zoro's words in Water Seven continue to ring true**

 **Anyways, here's part two as requested!** **Sorry it took so long, I've been busy with classes!**

* * *

" _Cookin' for you morons, I was happy. Luffy,"_ Sanji breathed out, head tipping as a wide smile spread from cheek to cheek. " _...Thank you."_

.

.

Luffy's ears were ringing. His head felt funny. Weightless. The rest of him felt unbearably heavy. He was disoriented. He was confused. Why wasn't Sanji talking anymore? Why had he stopped talking? Why, why?

"Sanji," he said, voice tight, thick, hurting. "Sanji."

He shook the blond laying limp in his arms. Shook his friend, his cook, his comrade. The only response he got was Sanji's head lolling to the side, the bangs that typically covered one eye sliding off, unveiling both blue eyes for all the world to see. At the uncharacteristic sight, at the sheer glassy, emptiness reflected back at him, something in Luffy broke. Sanji was never blank. That had been Luffy's favorite thing about him. Sanji had always been expressive, whether he'd been crying or yelling, whether he'd been lovestruck or laughing, Sanji had always been vibrating with life and emotion. Always.

So why? Why was he— This was just like with— Back then, he'd promised himself— He'd sworn— So why!?

Why was Sanji dead!?

Sanji was shaking. No, it was Luffy who was shaking, shaking so hard, his teeth were chattering. Yet, he set Sanji down gently as he could manage. Closed Sanji's eyes, then brushed his bangs over his face to hide the left.

" _Sorry, Luffy, even though... you came all this way, it looks like yer gonna have'ta find a new cook."_

" _I can't follow you this time."_

" _C-Ca-Captain. N-Need you... need... to tell..."_

" _After you fi..nd... One... the One Piece... d-drop off a message for me, will you?"_

.

.

.

" _I wanna... go home to Sunny!"_

Luffy leaned back, a hand shifting to readjust his hat. A hand he dimly noted was red with Sanji's blood. Then, he was pulling Sanji into his arms again and standing.

"I understand Sanji," he said, and if his voice was still quivering, he couldn't tell. "Even after all that... you just wanted to come home, didn't you? I won't leave you here."

Not in this place that he had hated. He wouldn't let Big Mom or Germa have him. Sanji was his crewmate. He was Luffy's. As the fighting raged on around him, Luffy remained stoic. One way or another, he was bringing Sanji home.

* * *

Nami's group managed to reunite with Luffy's after the explosion. Nami had been inside Bege with the others at the time (and wasn't that a disgusting thing to say), so she hadn't seen what caused it, nor had she seen what had caused the commotion beforehand, but she didn't mind taking full advantage of it to escape! Call her shameless, but this was a Yonko's territory, they needed every advantage they could get!

And yet. And yet, despite the danger, despite the literal army nipping at their heels, she had turned expecting to see Luffy fine. Expecting them both to be. And yet.

Jinbei was the first to react, his head lowering with a solemnity Nami didn't understand. Didn't understand because Sanji had to be okay. Sure, he was lying limp in Luffy's arms, smaller and paler than she'd ever seen him, sure he wasn't moving, wasn't reacting to her at all, but it was Sanji. In Punk Hazard, she'd learned firsthand just how sturdy he was! He had to be okay! It was _Sanji!_ They'd come all this way to save him! He couldn't just _die!_

"Lu..ffy," she finally managed to force out of her constricting throat. "What... What happened!? Why is—!? Sanji!?"

Luffy didn't reply, merely lowered his head the same way Jinbei had. Nami's legs felt weak. Her head was spinning. "...No way. That can't be... Why are you just standing there! We have to— We have to get him to a Doctor! Chopper and Brook have already left for the Sunny, but if we hurry—"

"Nami," Luffy's voice was rough and brittle, as if the simple act of talking in itself was hurting him. "It's too late."

She'd never heard him sound this defeated. In the back of her head, she wondered if this was what he'd sounded like after Ace. But that thought was quickly lost in the wave of rage that swept over her, filling every limb until she felt like the very embodiment of it, rushing forward and grabbing Luffy by his collar before she could question it, shaking him.

"What do you mean it's too late!? This is Sanji! He may have thrown us into the depths of fear itself, but he's still our friend! He's been with us since the start! You can't just— You can't just—"

"Nami," Luffy spoke again, this time, meeting her eyes with such a hardened expression, her words died in her throat. "He's dead. Sanji's dead. We lost."

Her legs finally gave and she crumpled to the ground. Her face was warm, too warm, and she didn't realize it was because she was crying until Carrot was crashing into her for a hug, tears streaking down her face as well. Pedro, too, was standing closer than he'd been moments ago, his head tilted toward the sky and a lit cigarette hanging slack in his mouth.

Luffy offered no comfort, simply standing in place with Sanji's... with Sanji in his arms.

Jinbei moved closer. "Luffy..."

"I know," he responded, almost softer than she could bear. "What's done is done, right? Sanji's not coming back." Luffy walked forward on heavy feet, one step, two, three, stopped behind Nami. She could hear him breathe in deeply. "We're leaving."

And at that, Nami's sobs came harder.

* * *

They lost two friends and left one behind. Chopper couldn't believe it. Didn't want to. Sanji. Pedro. Jinbei.

Chopper hadn't cried this much since Hiluluk. He felt miserable. Weak. Helpless. _Guilty._

He was the Doctor. They all trusted him to care for them! He should've... He should've been there! And even more than that, he was a Strawhat! Strawhat's never left their friends behind, so why?

He knew rationally it'd been the best choice to make, he knew he'd only have been in the way, yet, he regretted leaving Luffy and Sanji in that battlefield. He couldn't stop wondering what if. What if he could've saved Sanji? What if Sanji being alive could've prevented Pedro's death? What if there'd been some way to get Big Mom off their backs? If there was, surely Sanji would've been the one to think of it. Sanji had always been smart like that. Surely, he would've been able to stop her from attacking her own people. Her children. Killing them. So many screams.

At the thought, the tears returned with a vengeance, hiccupy sobs wracking his shoulders, dry and brittle inside his throat like the air from Alabasta had been. Chopper didn't think he'd ever recover from this. Maybe, there were some things that couldn't be cured after all.

* * *

They gave Sanji a proper burial at sea, Sanji, who had loved the ocean more than anyone. Using one of the mini boats Franky had been working on, they pushed Sanji's body out into the ocean waves and lit the raft on fire.

"So he can still find All Blue," Luffy had said before he'd thrown the final torch inside.

They watched until the flames flickered out and nothing was left. Even after the ashes had long been washed away, they lingered. Brook could understand.

He was the eldest aboard the Sunny, and in moments like these, it certainly showed. Brook knew loss. Once upon a time, he'd lost everything. His friends, his family, his crew, his own body. Brook knew loss like the back of his skeletal hand. He was accustomed to the empty space forming inside his heart, the place that'd once been occupied by a grinning cook. Except. Brook didn't have a heart, because he was a skeleton. Brook's shoulders slumped when the joke did nothing to improve his mood. Ahh, truly, even his hilarious jokes couldn't make him laugh at the moment. A depressing time indeed.

Slowing the soft tune he'd been strumming on his guitar, a tune he was creating for Sanji, Brook allowed his gaze to sweep over the deck for the tenth time since he'd started his creation. At some point, Nami had perched herself on the railing with a lighter he recognized to be the cook's clasped firmly in her hands. She'd been staring at it for a while, and Brook wondered what she was thinking. He'd have to ask her later after the dust had settled somewhat.

Swiveling his head, he took in Chopper's slumped form. He'd been propped against the mast with a medical textbook since the funeral, though he was yet to turn a page. It seemed he'd have to speak with young Chopper as well. Brook may not be able to offer comfort with this body of his, but he certainly could listen. He knew that's what Sanji would've done had he been here.

After confirming Carrot was still tucked away inside the crow's nest, Brook faced their Captain, who was sitting on the figurehead with his back to them. Silence and stillness didn't suit a man such as Luffy, but Brook knew better than to approach him. That job simply wasn't his.

Turning on his heel, Brook stared up at the Galley as he continued to strum his tune. It was missing something. Perhaps a little romanticism? Sanji had always preferred love songs. Chuckling softly, he recalled that Sanji could play a few himself when given a guitar. That had been the most invigorating discovery, indeed!

Invigorating... Yes! That's what Sanji's song needed! It needed more life.

Nodding along, Brook retrieved his notebook from his pocket to scribble down the musical notes.

* * *

Zoro knew something was wrong the instant he saw his Captain. Luffy was too calm, too quiet. Even after Zoro had called out to him, Luffy had barely reacted, his head bowed so that the brim of his hat hid his expression from view. It was then, Zoro knew that "something" had to do with Cook.

Had the idiot refused to return with them? He could see Cook pulling that crap. What surprised him was that Luffy had let him. What had Cook done to accomplish that? Even Robin and the witch hadn't managed to pull it off, and intelligence wise, Zoro would gladly admit they had the moronic Cook beat.

"Is everyone else with you?" Zoro asked, words leaving his mouth in a careful drawl as he watched Luffy hop to the ground. The 'is everyone okay', went unspoken. He knew it didn't need to be.

Luffy didn't look up.

Zoro scowled.

"We got separated."

Zoro noted the way Luffy had avoided the real question. He wanted Zoro to ask, huh?

"And Cook?" He obliged.

Luffy's head bowed further. Clenched fists began to shake. Zoro didn't like the display of weakness. Luffy was their Captain, he couldn't lose his composure everytime someone decided to—

"He's dead Zoro."

Zoro's chest iced over. For a horrifying moment, he didn't know what to do, or think, or say, every possible option crashing through his mind with enough force to nearly unbalance him. Then, he was grabbing Luffy by the front of his kimono and yanking him closer, glaring for all he was worth. Luffy didn't avoid his gaze this time, didn't flinch, continued to meet his eyes evenly. After another moment of this, Zoro released him roughly and turned around. Sat next to the jug he hadn't realized he'd dropped. He. He needed a moment.

So. Cook had gone and gotten himself killed. He'd—

"He took a hit for me."

The rage returned with a vengeance and Zoro smashed a fist against his thigh with enough force to bruise. Drawing in a breath that shook far more than he liked, he took a swig from his jug. It didn't help.

"Shit. _Shit!"_

"...Zor—"

"You, there," an incredibly grating voice had the _gall_ to interrupt. "Are you the nationally wanted ronin, Zorojuro? And is that your crewmember?"

No. No, this was actually a blessing in disguise, wasn't it? Standing, Zoro's hand came to rest on the hilt of Wado Ichimonji. Yeah. Zoro had just been thinking it'd be nice to have something to pulverize.

When the long-haired bastard tipped his head to the side as if to make a snide remark, Zoro charged.

* * *

They'd grown conceited. So sure of themselves they'd gotten, so sure of their skills and their track record that they hadn't doubted for a second Luffy and the others could pull this off on their own. That their crew could slip into a Yonko's territory at only half their usual strength and return with their lives intact. How foolish. Robin should've known better. She should've.

After all, she'd spent most of her life watching crew after crew fall apart, and every single time without fail, their downward spiral had begun with arrogance; with the inept belief they could pull off anything, crush anyone. Foolish. They'd all been so foolish. And. Robin the most of all.

She _had_ known better. She had known these results were likely, that the other's chances of returning alive had been low in itself. Yet. She'd believed in them, and perhaps that blind faith was a downfall of its own. Had it been unfair of her to assume they could handle this? That they could've managed without her, and Franky, and Usopp, and Zoro to lend a hand? Perhaps this amount of trust was capable of becoming a burden to the recipient. Robin couldn't be sure. She'd never given nor received this amount of trust until now, she couldn't claim to be an expert at it. This was new to her, so maybe, just maybe, could she be forgiven for this trespass?

Even as she thought this, however, an image of the ever-grinning cook filled her head and she closed her eyes against the stab of grief that followed. Robin was no stranger to loss. It never got any easier, though. No. Not when it was family. Not when it was someone irrevocably precious to her.

* * *

When it came to pirate crews, it was a well-known fact strong bonds tended to form amongst the members, and fast. Which was unfortunate for Franky, because he'd always had the annoying tendency to get too attached too fast anyway. In fact, he'd cared for the Strawhats before he'd even joined them. Had already considered them something close to friends, and after joining, after getting to know them, they'd been shifted into the same category as Mozu and the others. It kinda scared him how easily this change had occurred, how fast they'd gone from enemies to family, but he didn't regret it. He never did. He didn't regret caring about Tom, didn't regret pulling Mozu and Kiwi out of the literal gutter, and he sure as hell wasn't going to regret getting to know Sanji. It'd be an insult to his little bro to feel that way.

Don't get him wrong, Franky was _super_ sad. Losing Sanji was taking a heavy toll on all of them, but still, Franky doubted the cook would've wanted all this doom and gloom. No, Sanji had been a man with a kind heart, so surely, he'd have wanted them to brighten up! Franky doubted they'd ever be okay, doubted they'd ever get over this loss, but he could at least provide them with a distraction for the time being.

Rubbing his eyes that were most definitely wet from rain, not tears, he returned his attention to the miniature battleship he'd been making to replace the one they'd burned. He'd decided to design this one as a tribute to Sanji, fish carved into wood that swirled like ocean tides, and a custom made fridge hidden beneath the floorboards. He hoped his bro could see it, wherever he was.

* * *

Usopp was furious. How could he not be!? After everything with Dressrosa and Big Mom, Zoro had the _nerve_ to tell him Sanji was dead!? As if! There was no way Sanji would've died! No way! Zoro was just being a jerk is all!

"Right, Luffy!?" Usopp yelled, swiveling his head toward his Captain. "Tell him Sanji's fine!"

Luffy didn't answer.

Usopp's heart sped up. "Oi! Tell— Tell him! Don't you play around with me! This is serious, Luffy!"

"Usopp—" Luffy began, but a sudden fear of what was coming next flooded Usopp, and he no longer wanted to hear it.

Instead, he busted out into a laugh loud enough to drown out the world around him. Clapped his hands and threw his head back. "But that was a good one I gotta give it to ya! I didn't know you had it in you, Zoro! You guys almost had me for a minute there!"

Silence.

Usopp continued to laugh. Laugh until tears began to prick in the corners of his eyes. Only stopped when the silence became too deafening for him to ignore. A silence loud enough to draw his attention. He'd never known that could happen.

"Why aren't you guys laughing?" He asked, and when his voice trembled, his pride hissed angrily. The hiss turned into a roar at the look Zoro flashed him, belittling and full of pity. Usopp just knew it was pity! "Why're you looking at me like that!?"

He'd already grabbed Zoro before he could think better of it, a fist raised to punch him.

"Don't you dare look at me like that! Like I'm weak! You think I can't handle this!? I'm a member of this crew too!"

Thanks to Sanji. Thanks to what he'd told him in Enies Lobby; "Everyone has things they can and cannot do. I'll do what you can't do and you do what I can't do."

If it hadn't been for those words, surely Usopp would've kept writhing around in his own self-pity. Hell, he'd barely managed to escape it even after that. And yet— Sanji was— Sanji, he—

"Sanji, is he really dead?"

Hot tears filled his vision. Burned. He released Zoro in favor of turning his back to his crewmates so they couldn't see his weakness.

"I'm sorry," Luffy said, the first real sentence he'd spoken since they'd reunited, and the anger reared its ugly head once again.

"Don't you _dare_ apologize!" He yelled, and if his voice scraped painfully against his throat, he didn't let it show. "Sanji gave his life for you! You don't have the right to feel sorry for yourself! Otherwise— Otherwise, it'll be like he died for _NOTHING!"_

He could sense Luffy flinch. Sense Zoro's eyes squeeze shut. Maybe it was haki, maybe Usopp just knew them that well. Didn't matter.

Usopp allowed himself to slump to the ground, allowed his arms to cross defensively over his chest. "...Did he suffer?"

A beat of silence. Luffy lowered his head and rasped, "He did."

Usopp drew in a shaky breath through gritted teeth. Thought it was over.

"We're not gonna let her get away with this, you know," Luffy spoke up again. "When the time comes, and we fight for the title of Pirate King, we'll crush them. They'll regret doing what they did."

Closing his eyes, Usopp finally released that breath. " _Good."_

* * *

 **A/N: Since I'm still not sure about the details concerning Robin, Franky and Usopp's whereabouts, I tried to keep their parts vague as possible. Anyways, since Sanji was so essential in getting the crew out of Whole Cake Island, I figured the only other way they could've escaped was if Big Mom lost herself in her rampage completely and started attacking everyone indiscriminately, as she does.**

 **I also figured Luffy wouldn't have decided to fight Katakuri this time around (something I thought was a bit of a dumb thing to do anyways considering the stakes they were facing at the time) if Sanji had died, because his first priority wouldn't have been testing his strength, but in getting his surviving crewmates to safety.**


	40. Faith

Sabo watched the vivre card in his hand as the corners smoldered with flames. Times like these made him wish that it'd been his vivre card he'd given Luffy, but as second-in-command of the Revolutionary Army, he knew he couldn't take that chance. If it fell into the wrong hands, Sabo wouldn't be the only one paying the price, no, he'd be dragging his comrades down with him.

Besides, at least this way he could keep an eye on Luffy, even if it was stressful. Time after time after time after time, this vivre card had caught fire, in fact, this card seemed to burn more often than not, knowledge Sabo could have gladly gone without. Not that he would change things, if given the chance. The truth of the matter was, as much as watching this pained him, he couldn't afford to take any chances with Luffy either.

Squeezing his eyes shut against the familiar stab of rage and guilt, he rested his elbows on the railing. He couldn't go. The vivre card wasn't burnt up enough to warrant the cavalry. Luffy would be fine. He would. Whatever was happening, it was Luffy's adventure, not Sabo's. Knowing every time his little brother was out there fighting for his life wasn't an easy pill to swallow, but it was one he had to. For Luffy's sake.

But... But still, "What have you gotten yourself into this time, Luffy?"

Knowing his brother, it couldn't have been anything good. Luffy had always possessed an uncanny knack for getting himself into dangerous situations. He was practically a danger magnet!

Behind him, the door to the galley _creeeeeaked_ open. The unmistakable clip of boots over wood drew closer, but he couldn't bring himself to react beyond the weak glance he threw over his shoulder.

"Do you want to go?" Koala asked, the lights drifting from the galley making the edges of her glow as vibrant as the vivre card itself.

The vivre card... Sabo returned his gaze to it. He wanted to go. He wanted to go so badly he could _taste_ the desperation on his _tongue,_ but he knew if he came running every time Luffy needed help, his brother wouldn't forgive him. This was Luffy's adventure, Sabo reminded himself again. He couldn't interfere recklessly.

In lieu of screaming his frustration into the midnight sky, Sabo cast it a smile. It was a sad smile, but a smile all the same. To think Sabo had once been the level-headed brother.

"Do you?" Koala pressed when he didn't respond.

"...No," Sabo said, hating himself a bit more with each word. "Someday, Luffy's going to be King of the Pirates, he doesn't need me bailing him out every time things go south."

The flames weren't that far in, Luffy was fighting but he wasn't in danger. Still, if those flames went three fingertips deeper, Sabo was going, Luffy's pride be damned. He'd rather his brother be alive and angry than dead and gone. If he lost Luffy he'd go insane. Losing Ace had been agonizing at best, he didn't want to go through that again. He _couldn't_ go through that again. The guilt would eat him alive, and when he finally did pass on, Ace would _flay_ him alive. Luffy was their little brother, Sabo had to protect him no matter the costs.

"He's always had a knack for finding trouble, even when we were little kids, and I am worried about him, but..." He remembered walking into that cottage in Dressrosa, remembered the way Luffy's crew had huddled around him protectively even while he'd slept. "He's got a reliable group of people watching his back."

 _And_ if the flames went three fingertips deeper, Sabo was going to hunt Luffy down wherever in the world he was and annihilate whatever was threatening his brother. There was also that.

He could hear the smile in Koala's voice when she said, "Yeah, he does have Robin-san with him after all!"

The murderous scowl that'd broken across his face eased at the reminder, and with a final breath to steel himself, Sabo returned the vivre card to his pocket. He'd check it after the meeting, and if the flames were three fingertips deeper—

"If the time ever comes Luffy needs my help, I'll be there. But until then," he nodded to the open door, to where Hack and the others were undoubtedly planning their next move. "We've got a Revolution to fight."

Yes, if Luffy ever needed him he would be there, responsibilities be damned. But until then, no matter how hard it was, no matter how much he wanted to drop everything and rush to Luffy's side, he had to believe in his brother's strength. He had to have faith in Luffy.

* * *

 **A/N: I'm not exactly satisfied with this, but I figured I may as well try to update this fic while I have the free time, ya know?**


End file.
